Why does the phrase "You are beautiful" mean nothing to wives and girlfriends?

Many women get depressed and insecure about their bodies. Something plants a seed in their mind that they are fat or ugly. They become depressed and the husband or boyfriend notices... (YES WE NOTICE) one of the main reasons is we aren't getting sex, but also it's because guys can be empathetic.

The fact is the girl is still beautiful and sexy. The man is still extremely turned on. He will tell her and try to show her how sexy she is, but it means nothing. What it does in the end is make the man feel insecure. Maybe something is wrong with him? "why won't she have sex with me?"

Why does this happen? Why don't women feel sexy? Why do they get so insecure that what their man thinks means nothing?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It is more so the actions of a man.

    If a man TRULY thinks his woman is everything...then stop saying it and start showing it.

    Don't check out other women (because your girlfriend is everything to you and you couldn't ask for anything better), and don't talk about how hot a girl is or blah blah blah.

    Honestly, if your girlfriend or A girlfriend (not talking about you, just in general) is so perfect, then men shouldn't have desire for any other woman. They should be enough. And, men shouldn't want to look at other women...at least not in a sexual way.

    The easiest way to prove your loyalty, love, and how perfect a girl is to a man, is to show her you don't give a sh*t about any other women on this planet.

    Rihanna's song 'Only Girl' is perfect for describing this.

    Also, women get so insecure because you look on T.V and all you see is the 'perfect'...Even those women don't look like it in real life! And...women feel like they aren't perfect unless they look like that.

    • I have to highly disagree with you on this lol I think girls like what you are describing to ease their mind. it makes them feel good knowing they have someone, but after time it fades and what their man says or shows doesn't matter anymore. A woman won't feel sexy or act sexy unless she feels it for herself. I can tell my girl how much she turns me on and never look at another girl, but she won't do a private strip show for me unless she thinks she is sexy.

    • Well...it has to do with her too. But, you still need a guy to reassure them like I said.

      At least for me.

    • TO be honest, this isn't how a lot of men think, but beyond that, I'm not sure that it helps. Some women like that, others would chalk that up as 'he's biased'. Some women (and my wife seems to tend this way) seem be _most_ flattered when far from not noticing other women, their partner clearly CAN get other attractive women, but _actively_ chooses her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, it's probably because of all the other people who you see walking around looking like models. You know, those beautiful people on TV and everything? Those are real people & it's hard because they're beautiful, and it's like you're just average...Then besides those people, it's like the media is trying to make you into a new person.

    You're watching TV & during the process, it's like information is going into your brain like how you're supposed to look & act, and if you look a certain way, here's how to make it better & all that chizz.

    It doesn't help that you see a whole bunch of other girls walking around & laughing, and you think about how they are prettier than you & how you're boyfriend can do better.

    It's not a way of trying to make the guy feel bad, it just happens & words aren't what fixes it all the time. You have to make her feel it.

    • uhg people have to get over that. If technology has proven anything it is that everyone has flaws. Photoshop is the plastic surgery of our generation. People just need to learn to be happy with themselves. If a girl doesn't want her man looking at other girls then a guy doesn't want his girl to care what she looks like for the guys or gals she sees on the train. Worry about what your own man thinks and listen to what makes him happy. If he thinks your sexy then maybe you are..

  • i think it really comes down to how a woman takes care of herself. we all have good and bad days and I think we all know when we're taking care of ourselves and when we're not. and I have to kind of disagree that its a man's responsibility to make a woman feel better about herself. if a man thinks his gf/wife is gorgeous but she doesn't believe him than I don't know. I think there's a point in any relationship whether its the girl or guy that if they have a negative self esteem it is going to interfer with things. seriously there's going to be a point where some people will really just give up trying to help and ultimately give up the relationship. it really comes down to how we take care of ourselves and what we can do to better ourselves :o)


What Guys Said 2

  • Women judge themselves harshly, and their emotions cycle up and down periodically.

    Even gorgeous women can look at themselves in the mirror for something like 10 seconds, before finding something to criticise about themselves. ("I hate my nose")

    When a guy says "You're beautiful", he's responding as if this was a factual problem. It isn't. it's an emotional one. Telling her she's beautiful doesn't magically make her feelings go away. In fact, she may take that comment to mean that the guy is saying "your feelings don't matter - you are wrong for feeling this way" and that's guaranteed to get on her bad side.

    You just have to learn that women have good and bad days. Those days do not happen for any logical reason, so they can't be reasoned out of it. You can't convince her she's wrong. You can't tell her she's beautiful if she's in the middle of feeling like crap, and expect her to just stop feeling like crap.

    If you learn how women actually are, and stop wishing they'd be more like men, you'll find your life with them becomes a lot easier.

    • I don't think its men not understanding their women The problem is they don't understand the guys needs and will let these "bad days" turn into "bad weeks" then "bad months" and they wonder why arguments begin. I believe women have a harder time putting their own feelings and insecurities aside for the good of the relationship. Just think about what would happen if a guy started acting that way... it would be a nightmare.

    • lol ...I agree to a point +1

  • They decide that their man 'has' to say that, so his statement doesn't count.

    • this is true...so, they need to show it more than just say it

    • thanks for commenting...I guess everyone is different. Noticing is one thing..and I agree that it would flatter me that he notices others but chooses me...However, I would like him to actually believe I am the only one he wants. I think a lot of women are afraid of the stereotypes whereas men always bark at other women regardless if they are happily taken or not...which isn't true not all men do that.

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