Okay not a total lie, but how can we honestly say that everyone is on the same level of " attractiveness?" simply by saying, oh since everyone doesn't have the same taste, suddenly everyone is equally pretty...
Erm no. I see the falseness of this statement everyday. It's just a sugar coating way of trying to make someone who's not so good looking feel better.
We live in a shallow world - this statement doesn't imply that just because your not considered that good looking, that you'll never get a date - all it simply means is that some people will find you attractive and some won't.
But how the real world works is like this:
( Not good looking person,)
" Some people will find you attractive - most will not."
( Good looking person,)
" Some people won't find you attractive - most will."
In all honesty, there are people out there, who are just better looking than the average person, and there are people out there who aren't as good looking as the average person.
I'm so sick of seeing people say this crap because they don't want to be mean or come off being bitchy - in actuality your sending that person a false message of confidence that's likely to be deflated the very moment they go outside from the computer.
You don't have to be the hottest person to get a partner - but it does help nonetheless.
People who aren't " good looking," or whatever, need to know that they have to work with what they got. Your not suddenly undesirable or hopeless in finding a partner, but don't let your looks define you so much that you think you have no chance.
It's like the opposite extreme of being really hot and letting your looks define you to the point that your personality sufferes destruction due to arrogance - except in this case, your letting your bad looks destroy your personality due to insecurity.
We categorize people off everyday - we rate people everyday. Put a picture up on here and have the users poll you - 100% of the time, you'll be rated around the same average of a given number. ( Say 10 people rate you between a 5 - 7 with 6 being the most prominent number.)
We all have a " number," so why do people keep saying this as " good advice?"
That's like saying a short guy has the same desirability as a tall guy.
WE all know the truth...so why keep bullsh*tting?
Most Helpful Guy
I agree that it's not like everyone has a blank slate as to who will find them attractive and who won't.
But here are some things to consider.
Much of people's preferences are influenced by what they're conditioned to find attractive. This isn't true for everyone, but it definitely contributes to why few people will consider an "ugly" person attractive. What exactly makes them ugly? Qualities we're told are bad? Or is it 100% innate?
Furthermore, you mention that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" gives people false confidence. What's wrong with that? Isn't the goal to be confident regardless of whether other people find you attractive or not? Happiness independent of beauty ideals? That's not arrogance, that's autonomy.
I can also add my personal experience here... I very rarely find someone attractive until I get to know them, like their personality, and become close to them. Which means that looks mean VERY little to me unless they have some of my personal deal breakers.1