Is men's standard of attraction the REAL problem?

I've been hearing about the sad statistics about women ruining themselves to forcibly attain certain standards of beauty, maybe those portrayed in the media, or those discussed by men.

Because of this, people often assume that men are relentlessly picky about women, and that men have to love "all shapes and sizes" in order for women to stop abusing themselves. But are men really the problem, here?

A few stats:

-It's been repetitively shown that women are pickier than men when it comes to selecting partners.

-It doesn't take a whole lot of film exposure to realize that men are generally considered ugly, apish brutes. A scene of a man in his underwear is often followed by people looking away in disgust. These days, beauty is considered almost exclusively feminine.

-Men's standards are actually becoming more lax as the obesity epidemic continues to spread.

So how on earth would men's standard be to blame on women's depression on their own bodies?

I think it has nothing to do with men's selection. With the way it is, if men preferred large girls, there would be movements to "love the skinny girls." The standards make little difference.

The real problem, in my opinion is that people respect or disrespect women so heavily on their appearance, a standard that's less enforced on men. As it is now, we basically despise guys who like thin women, but that's arbitrary, and doesn't solve the real problem, just encourages hate.



Most Helpful Guy

  • The beauty standards are created and enforced by women, not men. They have no one to blame but themselves.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • I agree but never getting approached by guys makes me feel even more insecure.


What Guys Said 3

  • Yes, I've made plenty of topics on this. It's not just guys, society in general has put too much of an emphasis on shallow values. Items, people, everything.

  • Shallow values are everywhere for sure. Every guy has a friend who has said that they want the Brad Pitt from Fight Club body and they spend countless hours in the gym trying to get it. I'm still trying to get it. Which is ironic since that is a movie about how society shapes male culture and what not. This can go on for pages but I just think there should stop being general accusations thrown at genders for being more shallow than the other. I hear woman say all the time that men are far more shallow than women.

    • I think society in general says that men are far more shallow than women.

      Bill Maher covered this pretty well: link

  • It's promoted by the media and they think men find the barbie doll sexually attractive. Sure, some do, but do women really want to attract those kinds of guys? I should hope not!

    IMO, all guys are different with beauty standards. For example, I think a moustache on a girl is one of the sexiest things in the world. Men and women probably think I'm crazy for loving the ladystache but I don't care, it's what I find attractive.

    • Agreed.

      Plus, even when I was a kid, I considered the "barbie" figure more of a caricature than an actual standard.

      I like what you said about ladystache. I thought I was weird for liking flat chests. I feel like that's something I could get used to, though. heck, it would still look better than snooki-wannabe's you see popping up these days.

    • Show All
    • I agree 100%, so many labels are pointless. For example, I'm technically heterosexual but I'm attracted to women who have a very masculine gender expression and personality (perhaps part of why I love the female moustache so much), and an athletic, androgynous build is what looks best to me on a woman, as well as short hair and dressing in what's seen as masculine clothing. I'm also attracted to genderqueers (non-binary gender people) of female birth.

    • (continued) But I think that although I'm attracted to female bodies, the label "heterosexual" may not even fit me. I sometimes call myself "heteroqueer" and "polysexual" because of that (for what it's worth, I took a Kinsey test and scored a 1). The only frustrating thing is that the girls and female genderqueers I'm attracted to are more often than not lesbians. But the good news is I'm every bit as open to dating a heterosexual, bisexual, or pansexual.