Ugly but gorgeous personality or keep waiting

So I've been talking to this girl a little over a year now. She lives in another state and I can't handle long distance so I have kept it open because she's really nice, really sweet, cares and loves me & everything and I raised her self esteem and really like her for her I don't wanna hurt her but she's not attractive to me. She is willing to move her after she graduates and all that but as much as I wanna be with her part of me says I shouldn't because I'm not attracted to her physically I'm attracted to her for what's on the inside, the love she gives me basically and how sweet and nice and easy to talk to she is I can't hurt her but I'm not sure if I should keep looking or wait on her. Do I stay with her or keep looking? If I move on from her how do I tell her in a way she won't be hurt.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is always tough! Looks aren't important in determining who you want to spend the rest of your life with, however, there needs to be at least some sort of physical attraction.. So if after a year of talking and getting to know this woman and although you say her personality is amazing and you've helped her feel better about herself, you still don't find her sexually attractive? That may cause some problems down the road.

    But if you are attracted to the wonderful person she is then maybe you can get past the fact that she isn't a "looker".. Because she will love you like no one else is able to love you. Chemistry and connections are difficult to come by, you can't allow yourself to miss out on the chance of a lifetime to truly find love. Not of the physical kind, but of the heart and soul.

    What you need to do is, let her know how you are feeling.. Because God forbid this woman move to where you are only to have her heart broken because you aren't really into all that is HER; looks and personality.. There has to be sexual attraction for any sort of relationship to work..Focus on things maybe you do find appealing in her outward appearance and go from there. And if it still isn't working, maybe it's best to stay friends. But you have to decide one way or the other. Society makes us believe that we need to look a certain way in order to be accepted as "beautiful" or "attractive"..

    IF you want to keep searching you have every right to do so. Only you can make that choice.. And anyway you tell her, she'll be hurt. Because she loves you.. One thing though, DO NOT tell her its because you don't find her looks attractive. Just tell her while you love her and how wonderful she is, you aren't sure if she is your "one".


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Its hard to find a girl like that one you have listed. Although she is lacking physical attraction she makes up for it mentally. Many relationships fail because people do not have that open door of communication, or are not able to express their feelings openly. Sounds like you have found yourself a winner. You have no reason to doubt her.

    If you do find someone who may possess what you are looking for physically, chances are they will lack what you have already found it her.

    You need to begin to weigh your options.

    Do you think you can be in a happy relationship would someone who doesn't have every quality you desire? or do you think you can look past this?

    If you can, then I say she is worth the wait.

  • Wow at the responses you got.

    A successful relationship needs both physical attraction and having compatible personalities. It doesn't matter how 'gorgeous' her personality if the attraction isn't there, she's just a friend.

    So stop wasting her time and leading her on and focus your efforts on girls you would actually like to date. Just tell her you aren't ready for a relationship or some other excuse. She will still be hurt but not as hurt as finding out the truth.

    • thanks I'm not sure what excuse to use because she said she would wait for me so I don't know what to tell her

  • how unattractive are we talking? just not your type or no ones type? there was this guy I was friends with, I didn't find him physically attractive at first but in the end he broke my heart even though we never dated. I wanted him so bad but I was too late by the time I returned feelings. took me almost 2 years to get over it

    • shes decent I mean not fat but somewhere between it but I mean I like her a lot but I'm just not that attracted to her

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!