So I've been talking to this girl a little over a year now. She lives in another state and I can't handle long distance so I have kept it open because she's really nice, really sweet, cares and loves me & everything and I raised her self esteem and really like her for her I don't wanna hurt her but she's not attractive to me. She is willing to move her after she graduates and all that but as much as I wanna be with her part of me says I shouldn't because I'm not attracted to her physically I'm attracted to her for what's on the inside, the love she gives me basically and how sweet and nice and easy to talk to she is I can't hurt her but I'm not sure if I should keep looking or wait on her. Do I stay with her or keep looking? If I move on from her how do I tell her in a way she won't be hurt.
Most Helpful Girl
This is always tough! Looks aren't important in determining who you want to spend the rest of your life with, however, there needs to be at least some sort of physical attraction.. So if after a year of talking and getting to know this woman and although you say her personality is amazing and you've helped her feel better about herself, you still don't find her sexually attractive? That may cause some problems down the road.
But if you are attracted to the wonderful person she is then maybe you can get past the fact that she isn't a "looker".. Because she will love you like no one else is able to love you. Chemistry and connections are difficult to come by, you can't allow yourself to miss out on the chance of a lifetime to truly find love. Not of the physical kind, but of the heart and soul.
What you need to do is, let her know how you are feeling.. Because God forbid this woman move to where you are only to have her heart broken because you aren't really into all that is HER; looks and personality.. There has to be sexual attraction for any sort of relationship to work..Focus on things maybe you do find appealing in her outward appearance and go from there. And if it still isn't working, maybe it's best to stay friends. But you have to decide one way or the other. Society makes us believe that we need to look a certain way in order to be accepted as "beautiful" or "attractive"..
IF you want to keep searching you have every right to do so. Only you can make that choice.. And anyway you tell her, she'll be hurt. Because she loves you.. One thing though, DO NOT tell her its because you don't find her looks attractive. Just tell her while you love her and how wonderful she is, you aren't sure if she is your "one".0