Am I too short or just unlucky?

No matter how many times people try and tell me it doesn't matter, I just don't buy it. I read everywhere how being short is quite literally one of the worst traits a guy can poses in the dating world and in many cases, outright disqualifies him from being a potential lover. From experience this seems to be the case contrary to what some people try and say.

Just sitting at a table with all of my friends. I'm usually the one guy that has never hooked up with at least one of the girls. I'm rarely the object of any girls desire, I'm never the guy that hooked up with someone last night at that party, I'm never the guy that gets the phone number at the bar, I'm never the guy that some girl wants to date. It's always one of my friends.

I've really done some self reflecting and every time I come to the same conclusion. It's because I'm very short and all my friends are pretty tall. I'm 5'4 to be exact and most of my friends are around 6ft. I mean, they do say that they've done studies that suggest a short guy needs to make $175k to have the same level of attractiveness as a guy who is 6ft. In other words those 8 inches are worth $175. THAT'S HUGE! Not to sound arrogant, but I know I have a lot going for me so I know its not that I'm just not attractive or something. Even other people have confirmed this. I've had girls tells me I'm attractive, I've had girls compliment me numerous times on my style, I have a good body because I go to the gym regularly, I don't smoke, I drink minimally, I have a good career and good money, I have a good home life, I treat people with respect, I'm smart, I play in a rock band, I'm athletic, I'm told I'm mature and wise, people tell me I'm very well liked and have no enemies, I'm outgoing and can fun doing just about anything, I'm very social, I don't sit and play a bunch of video games, I know how to flirt and talk to women, and the list goes on and on.

My point is on paper, I feel like I'm the perfect boyfriend. Even on GaG's reality check, my average rating is a 9.5. So why is it that a guy like me is being ignored while my ugly, socially awkward, no style, borderline alcoholic friends have girls wanting to hook up with them left and right?

Be brutally honest, am I'm too short and the majority of women overlook me, or am I just unlucky. Again I'm 5'4.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You ARE short and that will hold you back with some girls who are taller than you. No way around it.

    BUT ... I know several short guys personally who did pretty good with women. I think what you're overlooking is that you don't drink much and your friends are hooking up with drunk girls at parties. Generally, "party crowds" are promiscuous and incestuous (a lot people in that same group of associates have hooked up with a lot of other people in the group). A lot of wild girls don't want boyfriends who aren't wild too. Just being at the party isn't enough -- party girls are drawn to the guys who show they live the same insane lifestyle that they do. You don't want a wild girl, anyway. So what are you doing at parties and bars so much?

    I think what you need to do, is find more girls outside of your immediate social circle who have other interests. Not gonna lie, being short makes it harder for you -- but so do plenty of other things that people have -- big noses, social anxiety, acne, etc, and so on) ... who end up in happy relationships.

    • First of all, these are not party people, just your average people in their 20's. I'm also at a lot of these parties/social gatherings where this happens so its not because I'm absent. I'm also not just talking about hooking up, I'm talking about having a desire to date me. Every 6 months these guys have another girl swooning over them. Only seems to happen to me every 3 years. However, I do see your point and I appreciate your honesty.

    • Show All
    • This is true. Maybe its the age group like you said, but its becoming impossible to find guys or girls who aren't like what you are describing. One of the many unfortunate side effects of our current economy is you ask me.

    • I agree. I had the advantage of being able to walk the line of both worlds -- Always got straight A's and did academic clubs and all that, but was from a small town and partied ridiculously -- so I can vouch that there IS a whole different world of girls out there wondering why all the guys they meet bore them. Having access to things other than the bar scene makes a huge difference. A lot of "non-typical" couples I've known have met volunteering, doing marathons, at art/music events.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Am I'm too short or just unlucky?

    Likely both as height matters for some women and luck seems to be a factor in opportunities.

    So why is it that a guy like me is being ignored while my ugly, socially awkward, no style, borderline alcoholic friends have girls wanting to hook up with them left and right?

    Perhaps because they're not ugly or have no style to the gals that are attracted to them, the gals are borderline alcoholic themselves or like to party, and the guys social awkwardness is seen as mysterious or cute due to the gal's attraction.

    • One guy for instance, never leaves the house, plays video games all day, is socially awkward. The second has two DUI's, drinks like a fish, is a college drop out, and his wardrobe consists of 3 t-shirts, jeans, and beat up skate shoes. The 3rd wears nothing but t-shirts and jeans, chews and smokes, drinks like a fish, has 0 hobbies or talents, and has massive emotional baggage because his mom died. I fail to see how any girl would find these qualities attractive over what I provide.

    • And no, these are not the type of girl who are generally huge skanks who get drunk 7 nights a week. Just your average girl in her 20's.

    • Are gals pursuing or responding well to guy #1 and #2 if so then it's clear that they have other traits to compensate for never leaving the house, playing video games, social awkwardness, drinking, not having a college education, and a lacking wardrobe.

      Or more likely the gals they attract or are attracted to don't care about such things.

  • Being short isn't necessarily as bad as you think! A lot of girls want taller guys so that if they dance or something the guy will be taller, because it's just kind of like an image most girls think of as the way things should be. But that's not necessarily true! In fact, there are lots of celebrities that girls absolutely LOVE that are rather short. Ryan Seacrest is 5'7, Daniel Radcliffe is 5'5, Tom Cruise is 5'7, Robert Downey Jr is 5'7, Bono is 5'6, Seth Green is 5'4...and the list goes on! I think what you just need is confidence. Just be confident in yourself, because if you don't think you can get a girlfriend, then they will be less likely to take an interest in you. Also, maybe you should try talking to shorter girls. If you talk to someone who is 5'2, she will be more likely to like you than someone who is 5'6.

    • First of all, everyone plays the celebrity card. They're celebrities, so that's an entirely different story. Also the ones you listed are still far taller than me. 5'7 is really not that short compared to 5'4. Finally I have a ton of confidence. I'll be the first one to tell you that I think I'm an awesome person with a lot going for me. I'm the one who is always coaching other guys on how to be confident around women. So I don't think that is the issue.

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