How can I deal with being ugly?

I'm 20 and I'm ugly .

I know some people say you love personality but that just doesn't count these days.

I think I have good personality. , I'm kind, a bit shy and I want people around me to be happy. But no boy likes me anyways because I'm ugly.

For example when with friend we are walking around the mall , guys turns heads looking at my friend or they approach her, and they don't notice me.

I have very nice body , What makes me ugly is my face and I can't change it.

When I was at school guys were calling me ugly ,weird,gross.. only friends I have are girls.

I'm smart and friendly but guys want only beautiful girls.

what can I do? Exist any boys for which personality is more important than look?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You can't say you have a good personality, and then follow that with how shy you are.

    Here's the simple truth - Shy people are a pain in the ass. They are no fun.

    It is true that for some guys (many guys in fact) personality can trump looks. But don't lie to yourself that you have a great personality. You're shy. That means you are a pain.

    You're a pain to talk to. You are a pain to get to know. Trying to get you to come out of your self-imposed shell, is a huge effort. And when anyone does it, they find that thanks to your years of shyness, you have all the social skills of a mollusc.

    That's the truth. It has nothing to do with your looks.

    Stop blaming things you can't change, like your face, and accept responsibility for what you CAN change. Your personality.

    When guys do this - (blame the things they can't change, like their height or their penis size) we rightly call them on their bullsh*t.

    So I'm doing that here, for you. Don't bullsh*t yourself. Shy girls are a f***ing pain in our ass.

    • i didn't say I'm very shy, I'm kinda shy. But I'm funny and bold among my friends , my best friends never would say that I'm shy.. It's not like I'm silent and don't talk anything.. I'm not too shy if this you mean, I am just not very loud with people I just met, but it's definitely fun to talk with me..

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    • I gotta disagree with you, pal. Clearly, you're an extroverted person, and like most people you think the world you live in is best. I reiterate, it is a basic humanistic quality.

      With that said, it isn't all about looks but I'd be lying through my teeth if I said it wasn't most of the battle when it comes to dating men. Being a "pain to talk to" and a "pain to get to know" are few of the many hoops men happily leap through for beautiful women.

    • Shy people are boring. Introverted people are not.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Looks well always matter more than personality. This matters for both genders, and for the most part, the people that say they care more about personality are people that are failing in the looks department themselves. Real world.

  • i feel your pain

  • We talk about general beauty but the truth is, this differs from man to man ( or woman to woman). One man's butterface is another man's beauty queen.


What Girls Said 3

  • There are guys who do go for personality over looks, but these can't do that if they don't know you. Strangers will only see superficial things, because they have nothing else to judge you by.

    Firstly, you probably aren't as 'ugly' as you think you are. Everyone's worst critic is themselves, and low self esteem is a bit of a downward spiral. It's very difficult to break out of those kinds of negative thoughts, and view yourself more positively. Even if you don't love your face, try to focus on the other good things about you. You say you have a good body, can dress well and do your hair nicely to feel a bit more confident in your appearance.

    Secondly, don't feel your looks prevent you from having male friends. In purely friendship terms, that matter for nothing. Do you ever judge you female friends value based on their looks? It's what's inside that matters to friends, and friendship can develop into something more (if you feel your personality is better than looks, you've got to let people get to know you) Try to make friends with guys your existing friends know. Just friendships, and see where it goes from there. I'm sure once they get to know you, and you feel comfortable around them, it'll work out.

    Good luck

    • yes that's right I have many female friends , and they seem to like me and donb't care about my looks for sure. But I think with boys it's different.. boys prefer to be friends with pretty girls right? And how can I make friendship with boy if they never do first step, and I'm kinda shy talking with boys , or I just feel they don't like me ( because they judge me based on my looks)

    • Exactly, and I'm sure you don't care about their looks either. Guys might care when approaching someone, but that doesn't mean that won't be friends with girls either way. Try not to think of it as a concern. I know loads of guys who have friends they love to pieces, but aren't attracted to necessarily. See it as a confidence building thing.

    • Mutual friends are far less likely to judge you based on looks. Try hanging out somewhere like a pub or something with friends, and some of their friends, and try your best to be yourself. Even if you don't talk to them directly initially, it might have build confidence in being around them and feeling comfortable and not judged.

  • The secret to attractiveness is confidence. Men love a confident woman...when a woman's confidence shows (not arrogance!) then men are drawn. You say you have a very nice body start by feeling confident about that; the way you think about yourself. Feel sexy, act sexy. Why not try something like Burlesque dance classes which really help to make you feel sexy and it shows! Don't compare yourself to others - sexiness comes in ALL shapes, sizes and guises :)

    • I've gotta disagree with you too. There are plenty of beautiful women who lack confidence but can get just about any man they want. Attraction isn't the same as it is for men as it is for women. Men care about looks, personality comes in a distant 2nd.

      If she wants to improve her profile she should do this:

      Get in the gym and make your body even sexier

      Watch sexy women and take note of the way they talk and walk. It's not "confidence", it's "sexyness."

      Dress a little sexier


  • The elegant style of speaking and appropriate manner is important. And you can try to change hairstyle .you should think about what kind of clothes and hairstyle fit your face.

    • thanks, I don't want to change hair style because I have very long natural beautiful hair, I love it and I don't want to do anything with it like cut or dye ..Maybe I should change clothes, but I don't know really what would fit me ..:(

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    • and if I send photo you would tell me what colors fit to me, or what make up I could use ?or maybe any advice how to look better?

    • I will do my best to help you.

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