Is this just plain wrong?

Yesterday I got a call from my aunt who is currently residing in the town and country I was born in (never raised there, moved when I was a baby). She called me because apparently she has found the most amazing/perfect girl for me. According to her, she is undoubtedly the most beautiful girl she has ever seen in her life (my aunt is 60 so that's saying something lol) and she's also a very sweet and lovely girl who she thinks I'd get along with great. It all sounded great, until she told me she was just 16! I'm 22, that's borderline pedo (actually it is). So I told my aunt hell no I will not go and meet this girl unless she's single 4 years from now. However, today I've been thinking it over and have started to sway my decision a little. My aunt has made her sound absolutely amazing and I really trust her her taste, but the girl is 16! Will it be very wrong if I go and visit her to just see what she's like. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I'm looking for the real deal.

Just to clarify the girl does not live in the U.S, she lives in another country and the culture there is different than here. It's very common for the parents to try and find a guy for the girl at that age. What they do is bring the guy in, if the girl likes him, they keep in touch, if not then they bring another guy. Also, the parents first ask the girl if she would like to see him, it's not forced on her. Most of the girls there are married by their early 20's. Another thing, my aunt
randomly met the girl's mom and she got invited to her house. While at the house my aunt spent some time with the girl then my aunt told her mom about me, the mom loved everything my aunt said about me and asked my aunt if she could tell me about the girl, my aunt agreed. The mom told the girl and she was fine with it. My aunt told me, which I said no to (now I'm thinking it over). I have until next summer to make my final decision, when I go on vacation there. If I do go through with it
the only point of it is to just get to know the girl so we keep in touch for a couple of years until she's to ready start a real relationship. It's still weird for me, but I really do trust my aunt and I don't want to throw away a great opportunity (if she's the way my aunt described her to me), but it's still weird, I can't come to a decision.
I would have updated sooner, but Sandy had other plans. My eldest cousin (that aunt's son) met the girl as well. I see him as my much older brother (he's 15 years older and lived with my family for three years and I thought he was my brother until I was like 6 lol) and when it comes to reading women and people in general I don't anyone that's better at it than him (his job is solely dependent on that ability). People are his specialty. He basically told me the same thing that my aunt did
except with a different choice in words lol (ex. biggest f***ing idiot if I don't go see her because guys are soon going to form a line to be with her). Also, he has great taste in women and he also said that she's one of if not the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. So he has convinced me to go see her. I promised him that if I go on vacation this summer I will go meet the girl (90% sure I'm going on vacation). Hopefully, she's as great as they made her out to be.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes we meet people and it's just not the right timing. There is nothing wrong with finding out if your personalities click. You can still be friends with her, giving her birthday gifts (keeping track of how old she just turned) and give her a proper date when she's 20. Though at 18 she is an adult in the U.S. and 16 is the age of consent in some states. Just saying.

    • she's from a different country, there are basically no laws about the age of consent or anything like that (if there are, no one follows them). Also, girls there get married off in their very early 20's, and no no one forces them too lol, that's just how it is there. That's also another reason I'm turned off by the idea, it's so ridiculously old fashioned and I'm not old fashioned. Also, IF I am to go there I will never put any type of sexual moves on her, that is completely against my morals

    • but knowing that I'm going there to see how she is so I could eventually make it to something more makes it a grey area for me. Does that make sense?

    • Do whatever feels right. I wouldn't draw the line in the sand just yet. You might meet her and know that she is the one for you.

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What Girls Said 5

  • in two years it won't seem so weird. If you go meet her you might find she is someone you really want to get to know. I am guessing that her parents would be kind of weirded out by any kind of romantic relationship but it might be worth at least meeting her. You seem to have a good moral compass. Follow it. If any emotions develop remind yourself and tell her that you are worried about that. My advice: meet her, but let her grow up a little bit. Don't restrict her, be her best friend if you like her. Tell her that in a few years you would like to meet up with her and spend some time together. Don't try to make it romantic yet though. I had a boyfriend at that age who was my age and we just recently ended it (I'm eighteen going on nineteen now) because I realized I haven't had enough experience to be comfortable with going into a relationship for forever. So let her see what she wants. (Ps I am an extremely protective big sister of a 16 year old. I would not say this if you sounded like a creep)

    • haha thank you, it's always nice to win over the older sister.

  • I don't think you're wrong for wanting to meet her especially considering what your aunt said. Just make sure you're sensible. Which means, of course, no sex unless you want to be a registered pedo for the rest of your life. There is no shame in being in a relationship with her if nothing physical is involved.

    Be warned, she is younger than you so you might find that the maturity difference can be much to handle. Also, if you are going to visit her and end up getting with her then you're going to have to be cautious with everything you do until she's 18. Her parents, her friends, some people might not take it well even if your intentions are good. That's just a heads-up with reality these days.

    Do what you think is sensible. Good luck.

  • This makes you look like you have a hard time getting girls and don't have many options. If that is not true, then surely you can meet girls your age

    • I do have a hard time finding girls that I'm interested in, but don't have a problem getting dates. There's only been one girl in my life that I have ever had real feelings for and it just so happens that she's from the same area as this other girl. I'm hopping that it's no coincidence lol.

  • You are 22. What is the rush? Besides she could be sweet to your aunt but no one knows the real person, also she is 16, she might have a boyfriend. She needs to live her life with her age group first. Are you willing to babysit and are you willing to go places were her 16 year old friend are, if not stay away from her, because she needs to mature without someone telling her how. Because between 22 year old and 16 year old not only have age difference but also the maturity level

    NONONO. You should wait till she is older

  • that is soso wrong the poor girl would prob b freaked out if she knew! maybe in a few years if she is single?

    • that's the thing it is freaky as hell, it freaks me out too. In the country that she's from it's a very common thing to do there, but it's still freaky. Starting around that age the parents usually try and find guys for the girl. The girl always has a choice, but it's still weird as hell. The girl knows that her parents are trying to find someone. My aunt randomly met her mom one day and got invited to her house, my aunt then spent some time with the girl and told her mom about me and the

    • mom told my aunt to please to me about her. This isn't normal for me either lol. I've lived in the U.S for most of my life and have the same views about dating and relationships as the majority of the population here too. Also, if and that's a big if, I were to see the girl it would only be too see if we get along, nothing else would happen until a couple of years pass by.

    • *please tell me about her*

What Guys Said 1

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