Should I apologize?

so basically this person was acting quite silly. and I have certain ways of reacting to certain things and a lot of verbal tics. this time I said god forbid smiling and in a playful way , which was in no way meant to be insulting.( like calling someone crazy or silly; you get the idea). the thing is she didn't see and hear me say it. someone else just pointed out to her that I said it. this made me think about it : why did she pointed that out to her ?! if I look back at it it looked like she kind of stopped and acted really quiet the rest of the day. would you find it insulting? should I apologize the first thing the time we'll meet ? or should I wait to see how she treats me ? if I apologize should it be in private or in front of the others ? nobody told me I was rude or anything but I don't want to look like I hate her , because I DON"T .


Most Helpful Girl

  • Good question!

    Lots of people care about their social prestige i.e. how they look in front of others. So, maybe if you said what you said just between you and her, she wouldn't have felt insulted or humiliated. The thing is SOMEBODY else pointed that out to her which means - in her mind - "Oh, excellent, now everybody saw him/heard him when he was making fun of me. Now everybody knew I was insulted. Now I lost my social identity, etc..."

    I've seen plenty of friends get mad at something someone said only because it was said in front of everybody. They literally told me that if the same word was said in private, they wouldn't have made a big deal out of it.

    I wouldn't apologize to her if I were you. I'd wait until I see how she treats me. If she's cool, no big deal. If she's angry at you, then you should approach her in private and explain what happened. Listen to what she has to say. Show her respect and care. Tell her that you didn't mean to make fun of her/insult her.

    Hope this helps. :)


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What Girls Said 1

  • just pull her to the side and say sorry for anything that you did wrong even if you dnt think your wrong or think you want an apology also. if you ever have to question if you should say sorry then you should. always walk away the better man


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