Really feeling tormented about past failures lately?

I'm not sure what my deal is anymore. There used to be this girl, and I really liked her a lot. A LOT a lot. But I screwed it up and came off so weird and I look back on the whole thing and feel so stupid about it. This was years ago now and I'm so different now. This was back when I barely ever talked to girls and I was clueless. And while I feel like I knew that there was a certain way to talk to girls, when it came to her, that all just went completely out the window and I couldn't even help but act weird. It was so stupid. I was so stupid.

Now it still bothers me, not sure why. I'm not even sure what to make of my feelings anymore. Am I missing her? Do I even like her anymore? There is a lot of negative feelings inside bottled up about this. I hate this. This whole thing in general. It's becoming unbearable lately, I just feel so bitter right now and it really puts me in a foul mood and I hate being this way too and I can't stop looking at everything and seeing all of the negativity in the world and dwelling on it. It's like I'm not even mentally right since this happened. I don't know. But I have been getting better since it all happened. Normally I can deal with it and won't think about it too much, but lately it's been bad.

What should I do?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I know exactly how you feel. I made a total idiot out of myself around a couple of guys I liked. I'm sure they thought I was a "psycho girl" or a "creep" or just weird. One time it got so bad that one of them embarrassed me in front of a group of people and told me to get away from him. To make matters worse, a few days later messaged him acknowledging my wrongdoing and sincerely apologizing. I received 9 response from him.

    This happened over the summer and it scarred me pretty badly. I still find myself thinking or talking about it sometimes.

    I think sometimes we have to go through experiences like this in order to grow. If that situation didn't happen to me, I think I'd still be acting like an idiot and letting my emotions take control. People have been trying to tell me to calm and slow down. Sometimes the guys gave little hints (like ignoring me), but I kept being persistent in hopes that they'd feel the same way about me. Certainly he could have quietly pulled me aside and said, "listen you need to stop, etc" but not everyone shares the same ethical views.

    I think a way to move on is to forgive yourself and look at the event as a learning experience. You're not alone and some people have it worse than us. Some can't control their emotions to the point where they become physically abusive, murderers, stalkers, etc. I can tell already you've learned from it, but you need to forgive yourself too.

    Also if it makes you feel better, you can talk to her and let her know you're sorry about what you did. Hopefully you'll get a response unlike I did. Regardless you'll feel a little better knowing that you owned up to your mistakes.

    • The thing is, I'm not sorry. She strung me a long and let this happen. She sparked my emotions. I couldn't help acting the way I did. It's not possible to talk to her either, she came out and said that she found me creepy so I'm not even going to bother, even though it's been so long. I'm not even sure if she would reply to any message I sent to her.

      I just hate that it had to be her. I thought she was the perfect girl and on top of that we had a lot in common that she refused to acknowledge.

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    • If you hate the feeling so much you have to put in the effort to change it.

      Keep in mind, she is probably not thinking about you, so push your energy and thoughts onto someone else. Meet new girls and take them out on dates. Even if you don't want to, you HAVE to otherwise you will still be angry about her when you're 45. Stop allowing this girl, who clearly doesn't care about you, to affect your happiness. You are in control of your life and your happiness. Surround yourself with optimists.

    • I do, I just have too much alone time to where my mind wanders and I think too much. I need to get out more. I've never been good with relating to people my age though. I'm very mature and just a stickler for lack of a better term.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It's alright if you acted a little weird. Chances are she probably doesn't think about it anymore. Everyone makes mistakes when there first learning things. Like you said this was all before you ever really started talking to girls. Mistakes are going to happen. Don't see it as you did anything wrong because you didn't. It's a part of learning. I'm sorry you lost her though. You might be having a hard time moving on because you feel lead on and wronged and emberessed and no sure how to handle it and you probably just want to set things right and get sone closer from it all. You might never have that. The best thing is look forward. Try not to dwell in the past.There's going to be other girls. One is going to be worth your time to where your not even going to think about it, so relax. Everythings OK. You did nothig wrong.


What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like you are more confuses than actually like her. Find someone else also.

    • I don't know she was the most attractive girl I've ever known. She was so beautiful to me and very smart. Always dating a*holes though.

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    • I heard she was the kind of girl to keep her pants on and I respected that, like any guy should.

    • Women can secretly be sluts or pretend to be sluts and be virgins. Don't go by word of mouth. Rumors tend to be false. Men act like a**holes to women because usually the woman is a bitch but not in public or if a woman wants sex the a**hole act is an indicator a man puts out.