My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years now. Our bond is stronger than Bioforce SECURE Denture Bonding Cream. These past 6 years flew by so quick for us it feels like we just started dating everyday. We're really happy together.

A few years ago, we had a random conversation regarding how guys rate girls when they check girls out. I had, for some reason, decided to ask him what he would rate me if he checked me out, not really knowing what to expect. I felt like a huge yellow bus just hit me hard and flew me across the world a thousand miles away when I heard the number "9" come out of his mouth. I had the strangest, ill feeling in my stomach, I wanted to throw up in my mouth and choke myself at the same time. I just flipped. He defended himself by saying "he was thinking out loud" and I flipped again saying "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK I'M A STINKIN' 9?!"...we really got into it. I was so hurt. I thought to myself "Why should I be with him if he thinks I'm not perfect for him?" but another side of me thought "Damn out those buns, get those abs back in there, save for a boob job...JUST DO SOMETHING!" I just felt so self conscious. We somehow managed to go around it..

Until a few days ago when the RATING subject came up again in a random conversation. The same sick, strange feelings came back and I was over myself. I'm still so hurt that I think I'm just a stinking 9..."SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ME!" He takes a while to say anything when I confront seems that he is trying to find something to say in his mind to defend himself...then he brings up that he was just thinking out loud again and begged me to believe that I was his 10, but when he says that, it seriously and literally makes me barf. then the whole thing all over again.

I AM SERIOUSLY BOTHERED BY THIS. I usually deal with relationship issues on my own, but this is too much hurt for me to handle. I have been trying to avoid him because looking at him, or hearing him really makes me feel sick. I really understand that I am not perfect. I just could not believe it had to come from him. I guess these are those best few times to utilize those "little white lies."

What to do?

I was over reacting...I was really hesitant to read your answers, but thanks for giving me a reality check.

I apologized for my over reaction, and I think I've finally let it go. FINALLY! After so long...

Thank you to all of you.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you seem to be overreacting. In fact in the second and third paragraph of your question you seem to delineate your own answer... 1st, your admit that you're "self-conscious", in the next paragraphy you admit that something is wrong.

    Maybe you should work out with yourself how to deal with anger and self consciousness. It sounds like he was just being honest. If this is an adequacy issue, then why were you guys together for six years? Are you that much of a perfectionist that this has been eating at your for 3 years?

    If you want to be lied to, then express that to him, and maybe he'll be comfortable with it, or maybe he won't.

    I personally prefer my wife to tell me when I look like an idiot, say something stupid that could embarrass myself later, or a whole host of other things. Maybe its just me but this whole thing sounds like a personality or ego issue.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • So you're not a 10. Big deal. Get over yourself. Most of us aren't a 10. A 9 is pretty danged good. I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill and manipulating an issue that is really meaningless. Your current obsession with this "rating" says more about your insecurity than it says about how he feels about you. You are unfairly punishing him and yourself.

  • He was being honest.
    If he said you are perfect that would make him a lair. Than you would blame him for lying.

    Girls are never happy.

    If I was him I would give you a -5 for personality. That would leave you with a 4/10, you are welcome.

  • Are you serious? Your complaining you only got a 9 out of 10? Shallow much? I can't even get a 4 in ratings.


What Girls Said 4

  • well first off congrats on this wonderful relationship you guyz hav so far! but here's the thing: you shouldnt stress over the fact that he rated you as a 9. 9 is a almost perfect # and besides like you said no one is really perfect and come on.. if he had said 7 wouldn't you then feel worse? be happy that he said 9 that's a really good rating and second this rating thing I'm assuming was just for fun so feelings shouldnt get hurt here. and you guyz were just joking around no big deal. so what I'm trying to get across is don't take this personally I know how it feels to take things and be all self conscious I'm soooo self conscious that it gets to the point where I'm paranoid so don't go there try just enjoying you wonderful realtionship because not too many people stay to long together so don't let this one thing make you all upset.

  • Would u have rated him a 10? I think that9 is pretty good. U asked what he would've rated u if he were just checking u out. Maybe he was referring to the initial moment he saw u. Not factoring in ur personality and everything else. If u have been together that long u shldnt be so mad over something so silly. It's just a number. That fact tht he has been with u so long proof that he thinks ur awesome

  • 1/10 I give.

  • I honestly don't think you should be so...concerned about this...

    You asked him to rate you assuming he didn't know you and he was checking you out? Well, hypothetically if he didn't know you and was just giving you a number based on looks, a 9 is great. Really, who cares?

    • Thank you...Thinkin about it the way you are has made me feel better about myself. I needed this....:)

    • I wish the best of luck to the both of you. The best test of a great relationship is putting up with the other person being neurotic. I bet you put up with crap that embarrasses him that doesn't bother you half as bad. It happens to all of us. Luckily, people who really care about each other show caring, compassion, forgiveness, and grow stronger together.