How to get over insecurity issues...?random self consciousness

I know I can't be the only girl with this issue, but I think I have this worse than most of the girls I hang out with...

I'm constantly putting myself down when I look in the mirror, disgusted by what I see. I keep trying to be better in every way I can. I don't have people bullying me or anything, but I am my worst and most important critic- but I'm failing myself because I keep picking myself apart, pointing out all my flaws, and then dwelling on them because I know they are there and I hate them. If a girl comes into my work and is really pretty I automatically just feel like sh*t - because ..well she is what I wish I could be. It sounds stupid I know, and I know that almost everyone has insecurities, but mine are an everyday stress that drive me crazy. I don't know how to deal with this...i wish I could just be happy with the way I look, but I am ALWAYS stressing about my looks and wishing things like, I wish my skin could be clearer, my skin tone could be darker, my hair could be thicker and longer, and my legs could be longer and skinnier and my tummy could be flatter, and my ass could be smaller...i just pick myself apart every little thing and then I hate myself because of all my flaws. people tell me I'm pretty but I always in the back of my mind think they are just being nice by saying that and that they all know my flaws just as I do and think about my flaws in their minds and it makes me feel so insecure! I need to stop this bad habit but I don't know how to quit worrying about what others may think about me and I need to somehow like myself without actually liking myself I guess...cause I honestly don't ever think I'll be happy with the way I look and I don't know if it's a sickness or something I just need advice on how to get through it and stop thinking about all this crap everyday and constantly hating on myself.


Most Helpful Girl

  • First, you really need to stop comparing yourself to other girls. Anytime your mind goes there, make a conscious decision to think about something else. Maybe focus on something you like about yourself, or a feature you've been complimented on. You have to change the way you think about and describe yourself. Use positive and constructive words, not words that bring you down. Believe people are honest when they compliment you. Talk to a friend you trust about how you feel, he/she can give you some reassurance and help you see the good things about you. I also think you need to stop picking at little things and look at the whole picture. Never dwell on small flaws.

    All of this is something your mind has to practice and get into the habit of. It's not that easy, but I'm sure there are thousands of articles and self-help books out there that might help you out. Seeing a therapist if you're interested might help too; they see this kind of thing all the time. It's true about exercise as well, it can definitely improve your mental health by making you feel good and easing your stress and anxiety.

    • thank you very much. I am actually going to talk to someone about this because I am starting to think it might be a mental illness. It's worse than I've expressed, and I honestly think I need professional help with getting through it. I truly will take what you've said into consideration though. It's just hard to do that!

    • Sounds like a good idea, I hope it all works out. Best of luck :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • What you perceive in the mirror is not the same as what other people see you as.

    There is scientific fact that proves that your brain morphs your visual perception, like a hallucination. You can't help it because you believe it, and when you tell other people, they don't understand why you think like that.

    You have body dismorphia. Expensive cure is psychotheraphy. Real cure is physically working out. Forcing your body into action cause certain chemical reactions and releases which gets rid of most psychological problems.

    There. I answered it seriously. Don't delete me again >_>

    • I didn't delete you! I don't know where the answers went from before I thought the answerers deleted them. But thank you for the honest answer. That's very interesting. Actually I've recently started doing yoga, in attempt to help the whole body image thing but I can see that whole body dismorphia thing being true. it's scary. - thanks

    • oh my goodness thank you so much. I looked it up and I'm actually thinking that may be the issue...i do have OCD with a few things but those are private so I won't say what they are.

    • The mods delete everything I say because I joke too much.

      I've dated girl just like you and was bipolar. I think I know what I'm talking about. Working out is better than shelling out a butt load of money on psychiatrists who do nothing but prescribe you serotonin uptake drugs.

  • If you're insecure by how you look, join a gym. You can feel that after a week of working out that you have more confidence in yourself.


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