Hey guys, I have a curiosity about an insecurity!

Would you be turned off by a girl who was insecure about whether or not she was desirable?

In my last 'relationship,' I was treated poorly and ended up being shafted (sexually and emotionally) in favor of 'prettier' women. I understand that the guy was an insecure manipulator, but that does not lessen the hurt I struggle with nor does it help me feel like I am adequate. I am not a petite or stereotypically pretty female; my appearance is distinct, strong, and my attitude is often more aggressive than docile. My attractiveness feels questionable because it meant nothing when a woman with a bigger chest, a smaller belly, and a more standard face came along.

Although I recognize that my previous lover was a prick, I still feel inadequate. I have been improving my physical appearance through exercise, training my mind, and working towards being a better person altogether, but I remain insecure and doubtful about my desirability.

Is my insecurity a turn-off to guys? Would that affect how you treated me in a relationship or saw me as a friend?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well you're a pretty stereotypical female; you picked the douche over the nice guy, and now you're feeling like crap. This is like the age old story from the beginning of human time 200,000 years ago. And yes, this would be a turnoff for most guys because you were so easily manipulated like so many other young females--it would be impossible for me and many other guys to have respect for you now. It's nothing personal, you just seem pathetic, which is a turn off.

    Also not sure how you're going to improve your physical appearance by "training your mind."

    • Whats even worse is the douche who stays because he only likes how the woman looks, so she never finds out what a douche he is.

    • Well, hold on. There was no 'nice guy' in the picture and this douche came off as a nice person at the start. I was young and curious, and cared very much for him. Explain what is pathetic about an inexperienced girl pursuing someone who claims to love her and who makes her happy, who treats her well for a while, then suddenly plunges into a vicious cycle of rejection and acceptance, confusing the inexperienced girl. What is so pathetic about struggling to find solutions, answers, understanding?

    • Also, training my mind has nothing to do with improving my physical appearance. Obviously. Intellect matters very much to me, I am well-endowed in that area, and I appreciate the need to improve there, as well. When I address my insecurities, I do it to the fullest extent possible; I want my body, mind, and heart to be strengthened, and that is precisely what I will do.

      You don't really think that a sexy body makes everything better, do you? d;

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