I look younger than I am...help!

Sorry for this rant. This is the result of me being set off by the most recent mistake someone made.

I am 20 years old but at my best, I look maybe 15. Maybe. Mostly 12. I get asked if I want a kid's meal when we go out, I get hit on my middle school boys, never taken seriously. Everyone at my university thinks I am a visiting younger sister of a student. No guy my age or older will give me a chance.

Adults compliment me on my "good use of grammar." No sh*t I have a good command over the English language; I'm twenty years old and am extremely well read. I was reading at university level when I was in fourth grade. Of course I have control over words.

People tell me that I should enjoy it or that it's a blessing. Well it's not. These people telling me that I should enjoy it are the ones who look their age or older and never had to deal with the embarrassment or ridicule you get when people make assumptions of your age because of your height, and build.

I bet any one of you would be horribly insulted if you were going to a fancy dinner with friends or a rated are movie and you were the only one who was pulled aside and had their I.D. double checked to make sure it was real, or drilled with questions about your childhood to make sure you were really born when you said you were.

It's down right humiliating when someone dumbs down their speech to talk to you because they think you're too young to understand or when some idiot 14 year old boy starts hitting on you.

It doesn't help that I'm 5'4, 110 lbs with a small bust and a banana shape. I can't fit into the clothes my friends wear. I have to shop in the children's/junior's sections at stores because they don't carry my size in the adult section.

This of course leads to me not being able to dress like my age.

Just today I took a message for my mother on the phone and when my mother met with the lady who called, the lady said, "I just want you to know how well your daughter sounds on the phone. So grown up."

Of course I sounded grown up, bitch. I'm an adult for Christ's sake.

People say I'll appreciate this when I'm older, 30 or 40 and look like I'm 25. Thanks, but that does nothing to help me now. I want to date someone my own age. I want to be respected like the adult that I am. I want not to be treated as an insubordinate child. I want to be genuinely respected and listened to.

But if you look like I do, that will never happen. I wear make up and do my hair but my small frame and figure just makes me look like a 12 year old trying to be a "big girl."

Sometimes I just feel like I may as well off myself because really, if you can't be respected in this world, what good is life?

Sorry for my rant...any tips on how to make people know I'm older than I look? I don't act immature. And I hate above anything else hearing, "Are you in 8th or 9th grade this fall?" I'm a sophomore in college...

So...how to look older? Pictures on my profile...tear me apart. Make me look 20, please!


Most Helpful Guy

  • lol, I have the same problem I'm 34 and I am still been mistaken for a 17 year old hahahaha.

    When I go to the US it's a nightmare, I can't go to the Sizzler and have the waiter bring me a beer because they are asking where my parents are lmao. I usually always walk with my passport when I visit the US or another country and have become accustomed being asked my ID everywhere I go, because of my boyish good looks.

    What I usually do now when I go abroad is grow out my mustache and a stubble, for some reason most people associate facial hair with being older it's weird. I don't really like it and often just shave it off and it's the same song all over again.

    I remember this one time I went out to disney's pleasure island and the security personnel checking the tickets wanted to call the police on me and report me as a freaking run away hahaha, I had forgotten my passport in the car and it resulted them not believing me and I really got so pissed that a made a total scene. Their supervising manager came and he agreed that someone would accompany me to my car to get my ID. They finally saw and believed that I was 30 and gave me and my wife free passes and excuses. Yes, my wife also looked young hahaha.

    I guess you growing facial hair is out of the question, so what I can only advise is to accept the fact you will look young and good for a great portion of your life. Just remember to walk with your identification.

    And don't be scared to demand respect when it is needed.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It will be a blessing from about age 24 for the rest of your life.

    It would have sucked in your teens. You are probably entering the 'half good half bad' zone. You've already dealt with the worst of it, and you're gonna be receiving the payoff for decades.

  • Here you go:

    No one can offend you without your permission. So stop giving it to them.

  • Not to me, you look like you're in your early 20s.

  • You might be able to use makeup and your wardrobe to make yourself look older. Not sure how, but I am sure there are methods to do so.


What Girls Said 8

  • I know how you feel. I'm 5'5" and 110 pounds also..also a small bust and frame. In college everyone said they thought I was like just starting high school and just visiting. I get told my younger cousins look a lot older than me...and they're in 8th grade.

    There's nothing you can do to change your body shape and build. But what you could do is buy clothes from the women's section that look older and have them tailored to fit your body. Make-up and hair is also important.

    You're super pretty! But I think maybe growing your hair out longer would give you an "older" appearance. Curling or making it wavy could also make you look more your age. Try a little more eye makeup (mascara, eye liner, shadow, etc.).

    Of course, natural makeup is also good but I think a little more would make you look older. link This article may help you out a little with that. Hopefully this is helpful for you.

  • I also look younger. I'm 29 but often the waiters in restaurants assume I'm under 18 and so won't need a glass for the wine. I get I.D'ed all the time going out but they are very conscientious where I go out so I think nothing of it. I've been asked many times when answering the door if my parents are home..."I don't know are your parents home?". But at 29 I do take it as a compliment. I've always taken it as a compliment.

    I had a look at your photos and you look anywhere between 17 and mid 20s. Clothing can be hard to find when you're on the smaller side but where I live I'm lucky to have the inditex group that have shops that stock jeans that look like they'd fit a 7 year old. Most of the time I buy things and then take them in to fit me. Some more expensive young brands make clothes in small sizes.

    I know you want someone to rant with you but enjoy it. You can get away with murder if you're small and cute. If someone assumes your a child make a joke out of it or get your fun by confusing them. Don't take offense if a kid asks you out. It was hard for him. Explain your age and how flattered you are. There's no reason guys your own age wouldn't be attracted to you. You're really pretty and 5ft4 isn't short.

    • Where I come from, the average height for a female is 6'0. So I'm pretty short :P

    • Jesus where do you come from. I thought the global average was around 5ft5 or 5ft6. No wonder they think you're a kid. There must be something in the water.

  • You look like your age to me. Just dress professionally. Maybe some eye makeup. You are very pretty.

    If you can, learn to sew, that way you can find clothes and alter them to fit you.

    Otherwise, just smile and don't let anyone get you down. I have the opposite problem, everyone thinks I'm 23+ when I'm only 20. And that's with no makeup on ever. Everyone has always assumed I looked older because I acted older (had the body of a 14 year old boy until recently).

  • You got a youthful face.

    Are you some kind of child genius?

    You'll just have to ignore it... You can't change their first impressions of you. Be happy with what you got. It's not the worst feeling in the world. There are a lot of people who also look younger than their age. You should just pretend that you're 15 and outsmart them.

  • Short hair always helps. And I've heard somewhere that mascara or eyeliner on the bottom lashes makes a woman look older. Also, get more layered hair. If you volumize it, you will instantly look older, because that was the style that now older woman were aiming for when they were younger.

  • its fine...get over it.

  • oh god, stop whining. I have the same problem, except I'm 22 and an inch shorter. yes we get comments and looks of disbelief a lot, but is it really that big of a deal to be so mad about? you feel like you want to kill yourself simply because people mistake you for younger than you are? you are seriously spoiled if that makes you want to kill yourself lol...

    now to answer your question, maybe get a new haircut or try some different makeup. new shoes. new clothes. I don't know how you fit in the children's section's clothes...i'm 5'3 108 lbs and I sure as hell don't...just get nice looking clothes in the juniors section or xs in women's petite sizes.

  • your situation is not as bad as mine, if I dress in just a v neck and jeans people literally think I'm 11-12

    I'm 4'10 and 90 pounds...small boobs very petite

    at Dennys the other day she brought me a kids menu lmao

    and sometimes when I would go out with my ex people would think I'm his little sister

    I feel your pain

    • It's awful.

    • Show All
    • In my neck of the woods, so am I. The average height of an adult in my town is 6'2. So...yeah. All my 11 year old siblings' friends are taller than me :p

    • well I'm a midget with no ass/boobs so yeah I have it worse lol

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