What Am I Doing Wrong? (Personality/Physical Analysis)

I am only looking for sincere, truly insightful, intuitive answers an POV please..

I am finding myself wondering if I was just meant for some type of alien-like individual or alone for that matter.

I am aware that appearances are the tip of the iceberg jutting out.. But I can't seem to help but instigate the fact that I am constantly being held at arms-length- because of my appearance.

I seem to have very, highly sharp, exotic, features .. and my interests are range from the complex, dark, and other-worldy to the very emblems of creative culture.

I am a model in Ny, writer, painter, music - head and ... it just seems like I have no one who can truly approach me with the utmost sincerity.

I walk this planet completely encaged in my own head, because the atmosphere around tends to encase me in this sort of stigma, this glass-box that I never asked for.

Although I am well-aware that this field of work/creativity I'm in comes with a price- I cannot help but feel ostracized and physically categorized into a genre of a "type" of woman - most males would place me in. Ie: "a fun time" " a fling" "a hot girl" .

But, .. little do they know the world and universes within me that I can offer them. I KNOW .. that I wouldn't be a "normal" girlfriend. I never truly agreed with the way most American, modern-day relationships held themselves up to be. To be truthful they're quite debilitating and almost parasitic.

But no male- has ever given me nor approached me in a way where they can see me as a potential girlfriend. It's always been a "fascination" or kept in awe or arms length. So strange.

I Know. I don't fit into the "category" of a normal girl or girl-next-door persona. Being in the Creative field, an artist, writer, etc.. I just see the world differently from childhood before I started modeling.

I am bisexual, so I Tend to "sympathize/understand/ communicate" well with most men and see the way they see life.

Also, I am not- at- all unfamiliar with sexuality- and truly view it as a work of art. Non-judemental. very rarely offended.Very rarely awkward or embarrassed in situations. Social norms of society just don't apply in the same way to me.

So ... I wonder, why is that I am alone? I see countless times.. more than usual.. abusive girls who demand a lot of materialistic things, drunken and unaware of their attitude towards people.. easily get a guy to settle down with them, although I can clearly see the man is miserable or 1/2 empty.. While I just sit here and immediately am looked upon by them as that "temptation" or the girl they can "fantasize" about.

I just don't get it. Can someone Explain this to me

... Preferably intelligent, sincere, or insightful answers from men and women please. I wouldn't judge you if this were you.


Update: I am going to Ask for Only Intelligent Men or Women: that does not mean demeaning ones viewpoint as a way to Gain Superiority in a conversation .. as "intelligent" just weak and power-hungry.

** Case in point: the Anonymous male answer who feels the need to overextend, embellish, and ostentatiously try to dumb down my natural personality to figure it out in a way of boxing someone up to easily categorize. Ignorant.


Most Helpful Guy

  • to me you come across as distant, aloof, and perhaps a bit grandiose in your opinions. I think in a modeling industry (one founded on the superficial) it is no wonder that so many people you associate with may not be able to see the true you deep down. They probably have no inclination to do so. I'd imagine outside the world you typically frequent there are guys who would want nothing more than to have a deep loving relationship with a beautiful, artistic, and intelligent woman like yourself but I'd imagine you'd have to venture into different social circles.

    It's kind of like a person who goes to clubs to try to find a person to settle down with, and when they meet someone there they are disappointed that the person always wanted to go out clubbing. If you eat an onion it is going to taste like onion. If you associate and live in a world that focuses so much on the superficial you're more often going to find people who are supeficial and are unable or don't care to see more. Now there is I'm sure people (including yourself) who want more but I'm sure hard to find and probably feel similar to you (discouraged).

    Honestly maybe look at the people around, or the social circles you tend to frequent. Do those groups lend themselves to being in the company of the type of person you'd want to be with?

    • I honestly appreciate your opinion and outlook. I do admit that some of it has a lot to do with what you mentioned and never shed light on it before. Environmental issues, where I must venture out... And it's funny, because your examples almost exactly emulate the scenarios.. that I constantly find myself faced with at the moment.

      I am constantly venturing into unknown, private, and more subdued territory to find myself gaining a "connection".. taking them into private areas to fully connect.

    • I wasn't trying to be rude in anyway either so I hope nothing I said offended you. I know for me there came a point where I realized I was going to the wrong places to meet a person who would have substance and was interested in the same things I was interested in. I really had to step out of my comfort zone to find a person who was similar to me in terms of what we wanted in a relationship

    • Yes.

      I can 'sense' very intuitively when someone is trying to be rude as opposed to the truest honesty. That's why I immediately unfolded and responded and can truly detect your words.

      You come from a place where you're speaking from objective and transcendent wisdom, even if it may look like a negative notion on my end, I still accept it as Truth and some Worth. I truly Appreciate people that can speak with that type of awareness- and not resort to dumbass ego-bitch male problems above ^.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 11

  • Have you tried meditation? It seems your mind is in over drive.

    "The description is not the described; I can describe the mountain, but the description is not the mountain, and if you are caught up in the description, as most people are, then you will never see the mountain"

    "“There is no such thing as a person. There are only restrictions and limitations. The sum total of these defines the person. You think you know yourself when you know what you are. But you never know who you are. The person merely appears to be, like the space within the pot appears to have the shape and volume and smell of the pot. See that you are not what you believe yourself to be. Fight with all the strength at your disposal against the idea that you are nameable and describable. You are not. Refuse to think of yourself in terms of this or that. There is no other way out of misery, which you have created for yourself through blind acceptance without investigation. Suffering is a call for enquiry, all pain needs investigation. Don’t be too lazy to think.”

    It sounds overly simplistic but at the root of it is unravelling the nature of the mind, making images and generalisations based on past experience, thinking it knows from afar. People are far more nuanced, and not as bad, as you might think. If we accept this analysis, then what needs to be done is obvious.

    You don't seem able to laugh at yourself, which might be a bad sign? :)

    • I truly ...highly... Appreciate your intuitive concern and your efforts of sentience to help pacify and assuage my inner "demons" or turmoil. I think the way you answered is the most highly enlightened way to communicate.

      Thanks for existing.

  • Northern America is a population of clones where eccentricity is seen as undesirable. I find myself nodding my head as I read much of what you wrote. Some of us will never fall into the norms of urban society but those are the ones that have the biggest impact; a burden worth carrying.

    • Thank you. .your slight insight and just understanding, has given me a small light in this darkened tunnel.

      Maybe we can be friends perhaps? So I won't feel so much alone.

  • Are you meeting guys or girls that you like their personality and attitudes? I don't think your looks are a problem. I'm with you on the social norm stuff, but it seems like I'm picking up on quite a bit of negativity which pushes me away from people. I think you're really smart and pretty, but a negative or even hopeless attitude wouldn't keep me interested. I love a woman that thinks' it's what I do as well. I think, but not often in a scornful way. Thoughts are prized, much more than people realize.

    • You're right about thoughts being prized more than what others realize. I agree with you on that. "What is invisible is almost always essential" . Thanks for your input. x

  • I see that you don't have any pics of you smiling.

    Try and smile or laugh around guys.

    You said that no man has ever approached you as girlfriend material? Well smiling and laughing can help you with that. They are associated with what we look forward to when we get into a relationship; and its happiness.

    • So is it society's rule? That if you Smile you must be a promised source of happiness?...

      What about in other parts of the world where eastern culture feels that smiling is a form of deception or devious ploy? or... if other parts are deemed beautiful like the eyes or glare a women gives you that can be promising. Smiling to me is meant for the one who Truly makes you happy, not because you want someone to "catch" you. It's a different view for me. Plus, I'm a model and we very rarely smile.

  • From your pictures and the words you've posted above, you don't come off as very approachable, in my opinion. Obviously I don't know you in everyday real life, so you may be completely different than your online persona - but I don't see you as the type of girl I could ask to go get a burger and a couple of beers.

  • I think you're problem is you're too much of an intellectual, for god's sake bring it down a notch, are you like this with people?

    • you're too simple.

      And girls like me can run circles around your ass and wouldn't even know it.

      hasn't anyone ever told You, to take it up a notch? You simpleton. You predictable and "accepted by society cause I'm too lazy to question my own self-worth" type of guy.

    • We're not attacking you simpleton, you asked a question and I gave you an answer, try to be more open to the answers instead of calling people names.

    • Your answer is not valid. Because of the fact that you never took into consideration that people should not adhere themselves: only alter in situations where people may not be able to relate: but never themselves.

      If people told Picasso to bring it down a notch _____, well you fill in the blank.

  • That ego, that enormous ego you have. It is choking me.

    • I've none.

      Choke yourself.

      Every "accusation" is a reflection/ remnant of what the accuser secretly struggles with.

      ..choke on that "MortalShowdown"

    • Nah, not really. I am perfectly fine with calling people fat, yet can clearly see that I'm not. Standard sentences like that are not intelligent at all, that's what we said on the playground in primary school and because it was said so much people started believing it was true.

      Don't get me wrong as there IS such a thing as projection, but to say it is that way in all the cases.

    • You trying to relate with me on any level when it comes to the Psyche and abnormal behavior of human beings, does not distract me from the fact that you started off accusing, blatantly painting a sincere, honest- although abnormal- scenario: As negative.

      There in fact, reflects your own negativity/insecurity within your understanding- that honestly because a situation is "unheard of" it is in your best duty to "shoot it down"-negatively. Assuming that (me) this person, thinks that way.

  • lol honestly? And I'm not trying to be a d*** but if my girlfriend talked the way you write... in everyday life I mean, I'd probably shoot myself.

    • you're boring. And probably never "fully lived" . you live by default and might as well be dead.

    • Show All
    • lol okey! You're not yawning cause of me, yawning is a way for your body to increase its intake of oxygen which is what triggers it but good try.

    • you're still dumb.

      probably dumber, for "trying" to answer.

  • Someone delete this question already, it's a fake profile, who knows whose pics those are or if it's even a woman behind the screen name

    Whoever it is needs help.

  • Your're a model? Yea, suuuuuuuuurrrrrre you are. Nice pic of jessica alba by the way. I bet your a member, no wait, the vice, no wait, the president of pathological liars annoynmes. Yea, that's the ticket!

    Seriously, start approaching guys. I'll never understand why women expect to be approached for crying sakes

    • Look at her profile pictures. What do you think?

    • Thanks Staff Sergent. Signed with Wihelmenia in Ny.

      + Google images of Jessica Alba with this image. Go ahead and research. Gurantee this IG will not come up under her name.


  • "But, .. little do they know the world and universes within me that I can offer them." | You and everyone else. The reality: Everyone talks like this. I read the whole thing and not once did you list anything that's useful to me as a person. You speak nothing of loyalty, of any sort of capabilities, of any sort of positive traits that are critical to relationships. You're just this enigmatic person that can "offer" me something that is worse than useless. I don't need someone who can give me a vision of the universe so badly as I need someone who can understand the cores of a relationship.

    "I KNOW .. that I wouldn't be a "normal" girlfriend. I never truly agreed with the way most American, modern-day relationships held themselves up to be. To be truthful they're quite debilitating and almost parasitic." | Culture shock is not the way to go. Most people are not attracted to the different, so that alone will shutdown most people. You're a model, so that instantly puts you at 11 on a scale of 1-10 for anyone who likes you, so only 9+ will bother, you're "mysterious" which removes quite a few people from the 9+. The crowds you are left with can be split into two sectors; those looking for a good time and those who want a serious commitment but want a serious partner so unless you're shooting to be a trophy wife ( which conflicts probably with your personality altogether ) you're in a tier where people take advantage of the fact that they are "hot". Totally different rules. You'd best learn them.

    "I am bisexual, so I Tend to "sympathize/understand/ communicate" well with most men and see the way they see life. " | Bisexuality has nothing to do with compassion and furthermore you can't understand otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. You probably have basic to slightly greater insight and it does look amazing, trust me, you don't require the intuition of the gods to surprise people, but at the same time it is imperative to understand where you really are. Now why do I pass that judgment? For one, you're here, asking specifically about the people who "tend to .. " with but you've offered no hypotheses yourself. If you have them, give them, but I assume that the ones you have are muddled or weak. Two, it seems you barely know the rules or at least don't show for it.

    As for seeing other relationships and disapproving humans are odd things and there's many reasons people stay together. That "parasite" may actually be the most grounded person that the male knows and may keep him from misadventures that other girls wouldn't. His "matron" in your eyes is his "partner" in his. And so forth and so on. You speak of things you can't know just as they judge you the same, as do I, based on what you see, and feel, and perhaps how you feel about them. It needn't be romantic. Then again you may also hang around sucky people who enjoy that torment. Can't say.


    • Like I said,

      I don't view societal norms in terms of relationships as "Useful" in general.

      So what I view as important, you will never understand. Being "useful" to a person rather than being an "Inspiration/ A Life-Changing/ Enigmatic" individual , to me, sounds more "Useful" in the new world mindset of things.

      Something you will never understand.


      Who said I play by those rules. and Who ever said they were important or for that matter satisfying?

      Think about it.

    • Show All
    • you + straight girl = Lesbian rebirth.

    • Did you need something? Did you get lonely?

What Girls Said 3

  • You come across as judgmental and unapproachable. Just from reading that. Beauty can be intimidating as is intelligence to some extent. Smiles and laughter, being open and comfortable is what will bring people closer. You didn't present anything there that I would go, you'd make a great friend. People want to be around happy people, positive, vibrant people. You commented on one post that models rarely smile... Cassandra Banks always seems to have a great big smile on her face. She comes across as a person everyone would love to have around.

    If you want to be girlfriend material, you have to bring more to the table than good looks and intelligence. Intelligence only gets you so far... being able to relate to people and use your common sense, that's what's valued. As a creative person, you could offer so much but I'm not seeing any of that here. You have to let people in your world and make them feel that their world is less colorful without you in it. You also can't let labels define you. You used a lot of labels here. Your a writer, you're a model and a painter. That means nothing. It just tells me what you do. I'm a hick, a redneck and a farmer's daughter... now you have some stereotype in your head but I'm willing to bet I'm nothing like what you're picturing.

    • I like this. Very insightful and honest.. and I'll take what you said into consideration.

    • Thanks. I was recently portrayed as a character in a theatre show and I learned more from people's reactions than I have a long time. Sometimes you have to look at yourself from the outside.

    • That's is very interesting canuckfarmgirl.. honestly. That type of experiment upon the psyche - to some might be liberating.

  • I think that most people look for a sense of stability in their lives and hence you see so many of those “debilitating and almost parasitic” kind of relationships. That has been the societal norm for a very long time. I think you, on the other hand, may not necessarily seek that norm and so you feel ostracised. But I really do feel that everyone has within them this want to go beyond the norm and so you become that escape for those guys who look at you as that “temptation”. Maybe you are underestimating the way people look at you. I am sure that your worldview can be subtly noticed by guys and this along with your exotic looks, make you that ideal fascination.

    Plus, do you feel that you often have high expectations of men? Not in the terms of how rich or successful they are, but in terms of their character and strengths? Even if you feel alone, I think that is definitely worth the wait to find a guy who can look beyond the looks and see the real you. In the meantime, try and practise meditation as Levin said. It really does help a lot in helping you to stop being in your own head all the time.

    • You're Very Insightful Maestro. And I'll, for sure take your understanding and critiscism into some serious attention and consideration. Such a beautiful recollection of thoughts and things my mind and spirit can meditate on. Thank you. Xx.

    • your too sweet!

  • I can see that you're just a person with a much higher calibre than most people because the truth of the fact is most people are ORDINARY and of HUMAN NATURE and they'll never admit that.

    Not everyone is the 'same'. There are such souls from come non-earth origins who will truly feel alone most of the time and will find only a small handful of friends that are on the same page as them.

    I can picture your ideal partner as someone who is tremendously free thinking, passionate, into the performing arts like you are. Maybe a writer or into a wide range of things and is not ordinary at all.

    • You're not doing any thing wrong, you just happen to be in a pool of most ordinary people of human nature.

    • Show All
    • Really? .. . I'd love to meet him/her.. If they are not opposed to it as well. I can truly appreciate another sentient soul, like myself and know how to take deep care of it.

    • You're really brave enough to put yourself out there because GAG is not really the forum to voice yourself because all you'll get is being judged, vilified, insulted or they can't see where your coming from or try to bring you down to their level. BECAUSE they never been down that path. Since they're just learning to be human but do not know their full power except self hate, being judgmental and hating others.