So confusing and annoying. What is going on with him?

This guy and I were flirting at work for quite a while. As he was really shy it took me quite some time to get him to be comfortable talking to me. Once wr started talking regularly he seemed to lose interest which whatever at least I had a new friend right?

Now I have no idea what happened. We had a perfectly pleasant convo the last time we talked over a month ago and all he has done is ignore me completely. To the point he will look up at the ceiling if I pass by, and actually turns his back to me to walk past me. Which is annoying as we are both far far past the age for this.

Except for the past three weeks when I am not looking I catch him watching me or at least looking at me. And I mean actually look at me, as in about three times longer than a glance around to see what's going on and happen to meet someone's eye. Granted I have stopped returning any eye contact as he just decided to act as though he hated me unless he looks at me. What in the world is wrong with him.

I do want to mention I am in no way trying to get with him. I just do not understand why he takes the time to "gaze" at me when he does everything to avoid me for no real reason I can see (we parted on good terms with our last conversation nothing weird happened or was said he just refused to even acknowledge my existence after)
Well to make things a little more confusing we spoke the other day and he was telling me about his newborn. So not sure what all the flirting had been about.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually, when I leave and try to come back, I do it because she was playing hard to get and I hoped that she'd drop her games when I return, or I thought that she liked someone else better than me but I'd show her interest again if it turns out that I was wrong. I'm not saying any of that applies to you, but just explaining why I might do it. And despite what most women think the reason is—that he became interested in someone else and thought that they were about to date but she rejected him—it is never the reason (because I'd date them both until I was official or had become physical with one of them before letting the other go).

    • Yeah if anyone played hard tobget it was him

      5 months of flirting across the partition between us and slowwwwwly getting him used to me enough that he didn't run away when I tried to talk to him

    • He may have mistaken something(s) you did as playing hard to get so he started doing it back, or maybe he's just an idiot who thinks that playing hard to get works. The know how frustrating, and ultimately pointless, those situations can become.

    • Fair enough. Honestly I would have had no more than a passing interest if he hadn't iniated the flirting and gave me hope.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I don't know, that's really weird. I would say he's not interested and really doesn't want you to think he is but the long gazes are perplexing. If I were you, I would probably try to have a couple more conversations with him. If he starts acting weird during them, you can ask him what the problem is.

    • Well I had tried even aftet he almost hit me in the parking lot. But anytime I got anywhere near him he would do ANYTHING to avoid me. Look at the ceiling, turn around and walk the other direction, even if I was standing behind him he would act like I didn't tap him on the shoulder. Like I said really confusing

      Though earlier today he actually smiled and waved. And I had to look around like a crazy person since I didn't think it was for me.

    • Show All
    • Who knows, people are weird :)

  • i think he probably likes you and is disappointed that things didn't develop further beyond just conversing. he probably feels a little self-conscious that he flirted with you and it didn't go anywhere. Of course this isn't your fault at all but this would just be my assumption

    OR maybe he got a girlfriend and now feels like he was to sort of avoid direct contact with you...but I'd lean more towards the frustration that nothing manifested beyond the initial flirting

    • Well it wasn't for lack of trying that it didn't go anywhere. I had hinted and even stated we should do something sometime.

    • yeah...that's why I don't blame you. I think he is just probably disappointed. perhaps just talk to him, try to figure it out... I don't think that he simply doesn't like you because you really didn't do anything to get on his bad side

    • I know I didn't do anything which is why I have been so incredibly perplexed by everything. I xould not comprehend how you go from being nice to someone to avoiding them worse than if they had the plague. I wouldn't mind talking to him if the chance presents itself, but seeing as I do not want to particularly approach him that may never happen as I always had to start the conversation.

  • Probably he is confused but has quite strong feelings for you which he is trying to hide..


What Girls Said 4

  • Maybe he's just socially awkward and never really got comfortable with chatting in the first place... maybe he likes you and happens to be one of those guys who acts like a 6-year-old when he starts to like someone... maybe you're reading too much into it and he's not actually "gazing" at you but looking at some other person/object in the room.

    It doesn't sound like you had such a close relationship that it is worth any more of your thought or time. I agree with you that his behavior is weird and shady, but apparently he has his own reasons for acting that way and sometimes it's best just to let people be weird even if it doesn't make any sense to everyone else.

    • Oh I agree. And no he is looking at me because every time I catch him we make direct eye contact. Mainly I was just confused seeing as he just turned a 180 for no reason and seemed to loathe me, which whatever. But then he started the watching thing and it just confused me on several levels.

  • Hey guys, I'm back, and I hope y'all miss me. Anyways, I'll tell you what he's up to. He's just tryin to play games with you, sort of like tryin' to test the waters on you. Reasons being is that he could like you, he thinks you like him but doesn't like you back, or he doesn't want to avoid awkwardness. Try being more detailed about your situation with him so I could give you a more direct answer :).

  • maybe he likes you and when he realized that you don't feel the same way about him he felt intimidated by you. to him that's probably the only way to deal with his heartbreak.

    • Oh no I did/do but got tired of the back and forth we had going. But I was as friendly as ever no matter what

    • ohh then he's probably having like the feelings of awkwardness that you get when you see your ex

    • That makes no sense as we were nothin but friends

  • Maybe you said something you didn't realize that turned him off. Perhaps he's got a girlfriend now. Lastly, he could just be an a**.

    • He had always been nice to and he still is to everyone around him. We honestly talked about nothing but work, the weather, and a local festival that happened that weekend. And having a girlfriend does not mean that you have to be rude to a friend and coworker.