Why do people tend to assume I'm a slut/dumb? Is there something I'm doing wrong?

Question

I genuinely don't get this. I'm abstinent, have had the same boyfriend for nearly two years, and don't flirt with everything that moves. At worst I'll wear a mini skirt one day but I'll always wear one with tights and make sure to not reveal too much at the top. But people automatically assume I'm not a virgin and have banged the countryside.

As for dumb, people just always tend to underestimate me and think of me as a dumb bimbo at times. Tbh I consider myself smarter than most people (or at the very least smart enough to not make instant assumptions about someone).

Could it have something to do with my physical appearance? Am I too girlie or friendly looking or what?

Answer 1

atorin

Xper 5

It could have a lot to do with your appearance, but not just physical features(though those do influence tons of misconceptions). The appearance you get from wearing tight or thin clothes makes it appear that you are trying to show off your form to the world. The people you spend time with also influences your image, if you are best friends with a girl who is easy then people will assume you are too. Overall, guessing a person's lifestyle is stupid if you have nothing but looks to go by, but that is often all we use. I will say though that the virginity thing is a logical conclusion. It is rare to find a girl in her late twenties with a boyfriend of two years who has never had sex, even if they are not slits.

Answer 2

Anonymous

Probably because you're too good looking (and maybe money is involved). people assume that a beautiful (and rich) person obtains what it needs a bit easier than the rest (which may or may not be true), so they also tend to believe that beautiful (rich) people don't put that much effort into education, upbringing, social skills, that these people live in a world of their own (which again in some cases it's true). beautiful and rich don't mix well.

People tend to get intimidated before getting to know you, SO they rather find an easier explanation for the fact that communication with you failed. e.g. "she's slutty, she's dumb, she's stuck up".

It happens, don't worry...

Answer 3

Asianbarbiedoll

Xper 3

Me too! I have the same problem. People when I first meet them think I'm dumb and a slut too. I'm on the smarter end too (I'm Asian afterall). But I have never meant a person who was straight out rude to me. Are people straight out rude or mean too you? It could be the way you talk too. I tend to talk really fast and use bad grammar because I get excited easily. But don't let what people think/say to you get you down because then you will just end up bitter, sad, and alone. Be positive and just be happy with who you are. Don't change yourself to please other!

Answer 4

Sexydncr | 281 opinions shared on Fashion & Beauty topic.

Explorer

I get this a lot too. One of my teachers even told me he thought I was a total airhead when he met me... Which totally defies all stereotypes lol. And my friends and I were talking about our first impressions of each other and they all thought I was a sl** and intimidating b*tch at first. I honestly don't know but you're really pretty so maybe that's why :)

Answer 5

Anonymous

maybe you take things the wrong way and are too sensitive?

Answer 6

MyNameIsJonas | 226 opinions shared on Fashion & Beauty topic.

Guru

It probably has to do with the attitude you are putting forth/putting out to others. Try and be more reserved around those you are not as friendly with.

From your description I could not tell you exactly why most people are getting this impression of you.

Answer 7

mrbluesky

Xper 2

Why do you assume you're such a smart person? TBH you sound snobby and that makes me think people are stupid.

Asker

+1 y
I'm currently a member of MENSA...that's why...I'm so so so sorry if I came off as snobby. I wasn't trying to.
mrbluesky

+1 y
You sound snobby. My point is that the smarter you get, the less intelligent people will think you are unless you fit into a specific persona of intelligence, which is remembering tons and tons of facts. If I recall Mensa's test doesn't have too much recall required to avoid ethnic bias, so you might not fit that description. People who say they are abstinent come off as snobs as well. There's just something ostentatious about 'remaining pure.'
mrbluesky

+1 y
(read comment that starts "you sound snobby first") Thirty years ago I would blame it on male's perception of your sex. Now I would actually blame it on females perception of your sex. Girls that see another female who is smarter then them and prettier then them will make judgements and spread rumors and it will just become a general attitude directed towards you after enough time. BTW I qualify for Mensa (in the 99.9~%) but I can't afford the bill so I'm not judging you on that.
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Asker

+1 y
I feel like women have always been competitive due to evolution. Biologically, they are competing for "resources" (men so that offspring is possible) so when another female is more attractive they pose a threat to the passing on of their genes. Though I'm pretty sure jealousy among females has grown exponentially as the standards of beauty have been raised and the standards of living are high enough to not worry about anything else.

Btw...I have a million flaws but snobby is not one of them...
mrbluesky

+1 y
It's definitely important for women to be competitive, but today it seems especially so. And I'm not saying you are snobby, I'm saying you come off as snobby. I wouldn't suggest mentioning MENSA to most people (I doubt you just go around saying you're in MENSA so I'm not saying that) but things like that bring out the competitive nature of other females.
Asker

+1 y
Things like being born with a vagina bring out the competitive nature of other females :P
mrbluesky

+1 y
Yeah but at least the competitiveness is passive and over long periods of time rather than in thirty second confrontations with bloody noses at the end
Asker

+1 y
Actually I like how guys settle things out more than females. Girls are catty and ruthless...tbh even a girl's friends are catty and jealous and over competitive half the time. At least with guys it's you fist it out, get a bloody nose, and it's over. Then again I'm not a guy so I wouldn't know how it works as well.

Answer 8

Asker

I'm currently a member of MENSA...that's why...I'm so so so sorry if I came off as snobby. I wasn't trying to.

Answer 9

mrbluesky

You sound snobby. My point is that the smarter you get, the less intelligent people will think you are unless you fit into a specific persona of intelligence, which is remembering tons and tons of facts. If I recall Mensa's test doesn't have too much recall required to avoid ethnic bias, so you might not fit that description. People who say they are abstinent come off as snobs as well. There's just something ostentatious about 'remaining pure.'

Answer 10

mrbluesky

(read comment that starts "you sound snobby first") Thirty years ago I would blame it on male's perception of your sex. Now I would actually blame it on females perception of your sex. Girls that see another female who is smarter then them and prettier then them will make judgements and spread rumors and it will just become a general attitude directed towards you after enough time. BTW I qualify for Mensa (in the 99.9~%) but I can't afford the bill so I'm not judging you on that.

Answer 11

Asker

I feel like women have always been competitive due to evolution. Biologically, they are competing for "resources" (men so that offspring is possible) so when another female is more attractive they pose a threat to the passing on of their genes. Though I'm pretty sure jealousy among females has grown exponentially as the standards of beauty have been raised and the standards of living are high enough to not worry about anything else.

Btw...I have a million flaws but snobby is not one of them...

Answer 12

mrbluesky

It's definitely important for women to be competitive, but today it seems especially so. And I'm not saying you are snobby, I'm saying you come off as snobby. I wouldn't suggest mentioning MENSA to most people (I doubt you just go around saying you're in MENSA so I'm not saying that) but things like that bring out the competitive nature of other females.

Answer 13

Asker

Things like being born with a vagina bring out the competitive nature of other females :P

Answer 14

mrbluesky

Yeah but at least the competitiveness is passive and over long periods of time rather than in thirty second confrontations with bloody noses at the end

Answer 15

Asker

Actually I like how guys settle things out more than females. Girls are catty and ruthless...tbh even a girl's friends are catty and jealous and over competitive half the time. At least with guys it's you fist it out, get a bloody nose, and it's over. Then again I'm not a guy so I wouldn't know how it works as well.

Answer 16

Anonymous

Well, given you've been witih the same guy for 2 years I think it's certainly unfair to assume you're a slut unless people have strong reasons to believe you're cheating on him. However it's understandable that they assume you're having sex with him. After all it's been 2 years! Poor guy!

Answer 17

martyfellow | 1.8K opinions shared on Fashion & Beauty topic.

Master

I think your big eyes and somewhat brassy makeup style make people think you are trying to look bimbo-ish. Try toning down the makeup about 75% and you'll quickly lose that bimbo image.

Answer 18

funkadelic5 | 62 opinions shared on Fashion & Beauty topic.

Yoda

It's because hot females in our society don't have to be intelligent to make a living, as a rule, so naturally most of them don't bother with using that thing in between their temples. It's just a reality, and stereotypes will make people assume you're not too bright, until they get to know you.

Theguyoverthere

+1 y
Sadly it is true. I know someone who gave his girlfriend at the time a copy of a research paper to use for class. He got a mediocre grade on it yet the same paper got her a good grade on it. Teachers grade with their dicks.

Answer 19

Theguyoverthere

Sadly it is true. I know someone who gave his girlfriend at the time a copy of a research paper to use for class. He got a mediocre grade on it yet the same paper got her a good grade on it. Teachers grade with their dicks.

Answer 20

jaegerffff

Xper 2

Actually, its cause you're prettier than average. People judge you out of jealousy. You're probably too nice so you think people need a good reason to be a**holes.. but they don't lol

Answer 21

Anonymous

Maybe it's your attitude, the way you walk or talk?

Answer 22

Anonymous

You're really pretty and males have it drilled in their small minds that pretty means slut.

Answer 23

questioner1991 | 170 opinions shared on Fashion & Beauty topic.

Yoda

You may just be too sexy for people to handle lol

Asker

+1 y
Lol I set chairs on fire with my sexiness :P

Answer 24

Asker

Lol I set chairs on fire with my sexiness :P

Answer 25

Anonymous

I don't know you so can't say or judge

Why do people tend to assume I'm a slut/dumb? Is there something I'm doing wrong?

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