The better question might be, why have parenting styles changed so much?
I'm sure the majority of users on here were raised with the wooden spoon as a punishment method.
For those of you who are parents...were you raised with spanking? For those of you who were, what made you decide to change your parenting style from how your parents raised you? Do you think that the way they raised you made you to be a failure and so changed your method?
For those of you parents who still employ the spanking method, why do you still do it?
I was a spanked child. I turned out fine. My siblings are 8 years younger than me and my parents spanked them too. Even though the neighbors suddenly frowned upon the practice even though they spanked all their older children.
I'm not talking any abuse or blood or anything. You do something wrong once, they tell you not to do it again. You do it twice? You drop your drawers, bend over and take 5 smacks on the butt with a wooden spoon. Then the 'rents sit you down and explain to you that you disobeyed twice and so that's why you got spanked.
I don't see an issue with it personally. It obviously worked for hundreds of years and today's generation of up and coming children seem to be way more out of control than they were back in the day.
So, barring abuse (excessive spanking, use of an extreme object, unusual number of spanking) what is wrong with the system in your eyes?
Most Helpful Guy
Hmm I was raised with the wooden spoon and soap in mouth from my mom and the belt and kicks/slaps from my dad. I'll tell you that these things didn't stop me from being a punk as a child. It did make me not want to spend time with my parents which kind of persists to this day. It did make me distrust adults and authority figures from a young age. It did make me punish other kids to get my way with them the way my parents did to me. In my family I was known as the troubled child who was always kept separate from the other kids. They did this in school as well and always kept my desk separate from the class and right next to the teacher all the way up until middle school. I vandalized my first house when I was in elementary school. Trust me when I say that I had very strict and conservative parents when it came to raising children. This didn't change how I acted at all.
Look a child/adult won't change unless they decide themselves that they want to. You can't beat change into anyone. We really don't have control over another human being's actions no matter how much we'd like to feel like an authority figure as a parent or an adult. The more you do that the more they will resent you and act out more in protest. That's what I did at least. It wasn't until years later when I realized how self destructive that I became that caused me to change on my own merit without the help of others. The most we can do is try to point them in the right direction when they're very young.
You know what stung more than all the beatings combined? In middle school after getting suspended for the umpteenth time and failing more classes my dad telling me that he failed with me and he didn't know where he went wrong. My parents stopped taking an interest in discipline or anything else from that point onward. Me failing classes and getting in detention was to be expected from that point onward and I didn't get any attention at all out of it. That burned me to the core more than any lashings from his belt. Getting in trouble to me was more about paying my parents back and getting back at them in that point of my life. Without that negative reaction out of them I had no other reason to do it. I then realized that the only person I was hurting was myself if I kept going on as I was. That was the time all my trouble making ended and the day I started to live more for myself began.
In hindsight spanking me or anything else didn't change me. It made me want to get back at the man so to speak. In all my efforts though the person I hurt the most was myself. That's my problem with spanking children especially if you don't explain to them what it is they're doing wrong.5
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