Why can't I have a boyfriend?

For some reason I can't have a boyfriend all I ever end up doing is just having friends with benefits, if anything. But when I was 16 I was raped do any of you think that's the reason, I think I'm over the issue and I put it behind me but I don't know what it is that makes me not want to date a guy I constantly think about it and I feel bad for myself which I hate I am not that type of person I usually just put things behind me. So I don't understand what's the issue behind this please help! Thanks


Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, I'm truly very sorry that you were raped. That is something that no one should should ever go through. And being young, during a time when you're trying to figure out so much in the world, makes it truly a crime. But being raped is definitely the problem. It is a statistical fact that girls that are sexually abused when they're younger have a higher risk of being more sexually active. I can't even begin to understand what is going on in your brain, or how you view guys, but don't think that being sexually active with no boyfriend is normal. You need to reprogram your brain. I don't know if you need professional help, or if you can do it without. You need to realize that what happened first off isn't right at all. And secondly, none of it was your fault!

    But if I were you, I would stop having sex all together, including everything associated with. If you meet a guy you like, don't immediately "date" him. Get to know him, who he is, and what he stands for. And if think about dating, let him know that you aren't going to do anything sexual until marriage. If the guy is not ok with that, then forget him. You want a guy that likes you for WHO you are, not WHAT you have (ie your body). But instead of looking for guys for sex, start looking for someone that is marriage material. If your parents are still together, look for someone like your dad. If not, find someone that you know, and look for characteristics like that.

    You really need to check out my website, it has a lot of information on how to find a good guy

    <a href="https://www.does-true-love-exist.com

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    If you need more advice you can always contact me

    jarett_the_ninja@hotmail. Com


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What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds like you need to take more deep breaths and stop worrying and assuming so much about everything. If it is some sort of subtle underlying response to being raped, then just stay focused on what you like about whoever you're with, and see if the relationship feeling does come back. If he's dumping you, then that's a different story. But if things are in your control, then I'd just keep my eye on the ball and stick through the worse times. If you can never have lasting feelings, I doubt that will ever change, but people have gone through much worse things in life.

  • get over it,i don't think so you have got over ur bad experience

    u need some help from experts

    hypnosis can help a lot

    just visit a good psychiatrist


What Girls Said 1

  • First off I am so sorry for what happened to you!

    People who have been raped do have a hard time putting feelings with sex because at one time it was used upon them as a weapon. Maybe you should try to spend some "getting to know you" time with the next guy you see as a prospective relationship, no sex just hold off on that and try to build a relationship by going out and having some fun, you might find that you can find someone really special without bringing sex in the picture too soon.

    By the time you decide to have sex you will have some sort of feelings for (? Guy)

    and it won't be as easy to disconnect your feelings from the act of sex, plus if you wait to get to know this person and til you have feelings involved it will honestly be worth the wait!