I am a very shy person and I have no idea how to speak to girls?

Hello my name is Daniel and I'm 17 from the United Kingdom [England].

I find it very difficult to speak with girls, I struggle to make eye contact and I don't really like smiling because I don't exactly rate myself in the looks department. Whenever I'm at College I will walk straight through the canteen and basically stare at the floor to avoid eye contact with girls, I would consider myself a complete shy person. It’s the same when I'm on the bus and there are girls around me I could smile but I'm scared of there reaction because I don’t class myself has gorgeous.

I rarely ever go out unless it's to play football, activities or college and I'm not very good at socializing, of course I'm capable of speaking with girls/guys but I choose not to, more so with my own age group because I know there could end up being an attraction even if I didn't know so and I wouldn't know how to handle that situation. If I was approached at anytime by a girl I will be honest and say I don't know how I would deal with the conversation.

I never go to parties nor do I ever drink beer or smoke cigarettes which makes it less likely to meet people who are out to enjoy themselves. I honestly don't rate my looks and I don't think I have spoken with a girl the same age as me for ages, unless I include my mothers best mates daughter who I see now and again. I have known her for a long time but I find her very attractive but I couldn't see anything happening I don't think she would like me has boyfriend material. I could try but I am shy and don't really have the confidence to ask anybody out.

The confidence plays a big part in the whole cycle because I struggle to get my words out, I get embarrassed and god knows what happens when I go onto the I.T course next year and surrounded by a fair few girls lol. I feel claustrophobic when I'm around girls and it’s a real pain in the arse when guys on my current course say “Are you still a virgin Daniel” obviously I deny it and because I'm quite confident at speaking with friends and course mates I don’t find myself the outcast in the group.

I can have a good conversation with people I know but the ones I don’t know I won’t say anything unless they approach me first which doesn’t happen often, I don’t have many girls queuing up to speak with me little as they know I'm not exactly going to be running towards them anytime soon either.

I was always fine when I was in primary school and once I reached secondary everything changed once I knew girls and boys was basically put into the same category and started liking each other, something I couldn’t handle with so I stayed away and have done for like the last 3 – 4 years. The only way I speak with girls is online on Xbox Live or on the PC for example Left 4 Dead (Mainly Americans) I don’t get all nervous then but I know they can’t see me so it helps. I need to fix the major issue which is currently controlling my life and making it an horrible nightmare.


Most Helpful Girl

  • i find guys who think before they talk and are not always talking, attractive. I honestly get turned off by blabber mouths or guys who make up a lot of crap so I think it's not bad being shy about certain things.

    However, if you want some tips to be more outgoing, then go out there, put yourself in environments where you know you're gonna meet people, and they talk to you or vice versa. talk to people in class, make friends, maybe join extracurricular activities at yoru school. that's what I do. I'm invovled ina few clubs at my school, including an anime one and I also go the gym and chat to people there and then I go to work and I talk to people there. you just take time and effort to get out of your shell and eventually you just are a natural. so don't worry too much about it but work on it ; good luck ^_^


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What Girls Said 3

  • Firstly don't even worry about not drinking and not goin to parties that will not have an impact whatsoever on you meeting a good girl. I personally love shy guys. And you will get the girl that's right for you don't worry. My opinion is
    - make a kind gesture: you see a girl anywhere supermarket, library, petrol station, pools, beach there a million places. Just make a kind gesture, even if nothing happens it will slowly build up your confidence for later.
    - picture a conversation with a girl in your mind and practice what you would say. (Dont worry if you stutter in reality, my guy stutters, I think it is so adorable, it just depends on the girl and if she hates you for it than she's not for you)
    - a smile does a lot, smile from far and if she reciprocates great!
    - girls generally love it when guys give them respect and kindness mostly. So like are you right there, need help? Or be careful, or you haven't been here lately we missed you etc just show importance and kindness.
    - you don't always Haveto look a girl right in the way, look around her when talking. So you don't get stressed or more nervous!
    - practice on your cousins family etc so you can speak to other potential girls

    • By the way I'd really appreciate it if you could help me out also I asked a couple of question and I didn't receive much answers. Could you please post your opinion since your a shy guy?

  • Okay I didn't read everyhitng that best wayy for you 0to0o get over this fear is just t0o0 put yourself out there and try t0o0 approach girls the worse thing that could happen is that you get rejected rihgt s0o0o you just learn and move forward . . hang out with guys whom seem to have their act togetehr and ask for pointers and jsut follow therir leaddd

  • I'm supposed to be studying for the SAT right now, so I didn't read all of that... but I will later.

    Anyways, if your smile is a genuine smile, you don't have to be gorgeous. You need to find your confidence, not just with girls but in general. I'll be back later to guide you. :]


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