I'm wierdly, conditionally shy. I can handle rejection... maybe too well. Maybe only under the conditions I allow. What's wrong with me?

Anonymous
If a girl likes me, I'll fall for her. I basically have no type besides her not being fat... or rather I do have a type but it doesn't matter. I'm good looking but I can't hold a girls attention, if she's hot I get intimidated eventually even though I'm great at sex. I'm just... timid, not at first but eventually. It just happens... If they challenge me directly I rise to it and can even be an aggressive flirt because by them being aggressive they've shown real interest already. If a girl just puts herself around me a lot though and is just submissive... it's weirdly paralysis for me. Like if there's no clear marker of her attraction I'm just afraid of showing mine first. I'm cool with rejection, but only because I sometimes start preparing for it early. If I was just surprised with rejection I'd be pissed, so I avoid that. It's like, I run 2 scenarios in my head the positive and negative, I keep moving in the positive track until it looks like she's not interested then I start mentally preparing and back off. Maybe that's wrong? I don't know I just can't go in full force and his a brick wall, I don't get mad... ever actually, but I feel like that would really piss me off. I used to think I have high emotional intelligence but now I'm starting to think I'm just really good at avoiding anger not dealing with it. Anyway in an effort to avoid this anger, any situation where I'm not sure she's into me... I just can't be an aggressive flirt because, it's just too unknown what she'll do. Is this a control thing? Maybe I have control issues with myself. I honestly don't care what she does I just don't want to act out myself. What's this sound like to you. Am I just crazy, afraid, repressed, controlling, shy... all of em? What?
I'm wierdly, conditionally shy. I can handle rejection... maybe too well. Maybe only under the conditions I allow. What's wrong with me?
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