OK there's this girl I like and she likes me too because she told me and I know she does. but I always have to go finding her like online or just to chill. But she never comes looking for me its always me who has to say something. why is this?
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like she's insecure.
When people are insecure, what they crave is reassurance. Girls are more insecure than guys, and need a lot more reassurance. The way women request that reassurance is by playing "hard-to-get"
When a girl is playing "hard-to-get" with you; you should take it as a great sign. It means she's feeling insecure around you. Girls don't play hard-to-get with guys they don't feel insecure or nervous around. It's her way of asking you to give her some reassurance and comfort those lingering insecurities about both herself and men in general.
- Am I pretty enough?
- Am I beautiful in general?
- Am I more attractive than her? what about her? what about all other girls?
- Does he like me?
Men in general:
- Does he just want sex (as in, ONLY sex and NOTHING more? because of course you want sex! if you didn't, you would be indifferent to dating a woman or man. the reason you're dating girls is because you want sex. don't confuse that with her worry of you "JUST/ONLY wanting sex and NOTHING else")
- Is he interested in me? (not in the general sense, but HER. is she special to you? does she have an emotional monopoly on your heart that no other woman can compete with? why is this important?)
- Will he leave or cheat on me?
- After we have sex, will he still care about me and still be interested?
ALL actions women take, are done in order to comfort their insecurities. She's not doing this for you. She's doing this for herself. But that is WHY she's doing this. Here are reason why she's NOT doing it:
- To establish authority and control
- To get you to accept that you are less valuable than her
- To get you to accept that she is more valuable than you
- To get you to give up your power and give power to her
Even if that is the case, all it really takes to escape that situation is to just dump her. So if she (IS) hypothetically that type of girl, you've lost nothing, because it's nothing for you to just turn around and dump her. If you're afraid of everyone finding out about you sacrificing yourself for her and the effect it has on your reputation; just imagine what kryptonite it would be for her reputation for other guys to find out what kind of girl she is.
That should not be a reason for you to not take the chance that the girl in question most likely is just waiting for some reassurance from you. Don't be a girl and let your insecurities dictate your actions and thoughts. Be a man and let logic & reason prevail.
When she doesn't call you:
DOESN'T MEAN: she's not interested
DOES MEAN: she's waiting for you to call
that's the pattern here..
She never wants to ____ (fill in blank).. why? Because she wants YOU to!
Savor that. That's your gift to her; to be a leader she can follow. To take her by the hand, and make her feel comfortable and safe around you. That's what she's looking for, s/o who makes her FEEL that way. So gi0