Why do guys say they want you, then ignore you for a while, and then flirt again?

he was always taking care of me, taking the initiative, saying he liked me and wanted to see how things went for a relationship when he would have more time after pledging ended, and we were kissing and spending time together. then, during pledging he starts to stop texting and asking me to hang out. and then we make out and fall asleep one night, and after that he basically stops texting and making any initiative. and then I ask him what's up, make an assumption I shouldn't have, and he gets mad and we completely ignore each other (have all the same friends) for a while. and then we get lunch, start talking again, and he's flirting again- my friends noticed too. he hasn't hooked up with other girls and isn't a huge flirt to them, but he's got a big ego and I'm still attracted to..and now confused by him. his best friend and brother stay in contact with me, and before he left for break he invited me to his friends new years party, but he makes no effort to stay in touch. when we see each other though, he's a huge flirt, and still takes care of me and studies with me and acts like I mean something to him. what does he want?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well one, you have to understand that he problemly doesn't know what he wants, but he knows his attracted to you. Being close friends and being around each other so much he might not want to take that next step because he is afraid that it may not work out. Some guys are not as confident as others an they won't make an serious move. So you have a choice: if he wants you to come to the party he will find a way to get in touch with you. But if you don't get another invite don't go and don't call just wait. Wait to see what move he will make, because you don't want an guy that is unable to make an serious move. If he really cares he will make a move.


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What Guys Said 4

  • Its what we have to do. Guys that are always nice and helpful get stuck in the "Friends Zone" and become either ignored or resented by the girl who feels like maybe he's just trying to earn getting laid or gets plenty of friendliness from the girl who starts to think of him as another girl or sort of a nonsexual teddy bear, you love your teddy bear you hug your teddy bear but... hopefully that's all. He wants to be a bit mysterious he wants you to think about him at work or school or lying in bed at night at least half as much as he does. He shows his interest and then makes you doubt. he wants you to wonder does he like me, he wants you to wonder am I attractive enough and then turn up the flirting and contact on your part. He wants this to be your idea your hope, what you want. Because most guys have had an experience with a relationship that was what he wanted and the girl either flat out rejected him or sort of went along with it out of pity maybe or maybe because she sorta liked using him to feel sexy/ help her with homework/ help her move fix her car. Men use and abuse women more but plenty of women use men like this and play with their emotions like little toys and enjoy reducing some boy to a little dog on a leash. And some of them are not even conscious of the cruelty of it. They think their "friend" wants to hear about her problems with her boyfriend whos an ass who tries to scare and beat up the "friend" all the time and tries to beat the friendly guy at athletic stuff and the two face off when the girl is watching and that must be a kinda fun show for her. Ok my example is a bit extreme I am thinking of a particularly can't think of a better word bitchy ex girlfriend from high school. But this happens so men learn to play this silly game we don't want to but we also don't want to be lonely so we learn that sometimes less is more. As much as part of us just wants to hang around that beautiful girl who seems to have a halo glowing around her head and sneak peeks of her body while we think of 25 little tasks to help her with, if we do that that's probably all we get

  • I didn't even need to read all that cr- err, stuff you wrote to tell you what you need to know.

    The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.

    Demonstrate value

    Engage physically

    Nurture dependence

    Neglect emotionally

    Inspire hope

    Separate entirely

    Right now, this guy you're hanging out with is at "Phase I"; he's about to seperate entirely so you might want to learn more about what he's doing here: link

  • Because like man they don't alway know what they want, and it get complicated

  • I did this with a friend of mine and I pretty much just told her that I would like to stay friends until the end of our marching band season because it would have been too much on my plate with a gf. But I'm planning on asking her out within the week.


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