I don't understand - she gets hit on but I don't get why?

I have a friend who gets a lot of attention from guys but is honestly objectively below average looks wise. I don't get it. She's funny and smart etc. but she's *not* what I think anyone would call good looking + she's a bigger person - although she suddenly becomes quite pretty when she puts on makeup (it's like seeing a different person, it's amazing).
Her Tinder profile gets lots of matches but all her photos are of her with makeup, so I get that. But guys also hit on her when she's not wearing it. And that part I don't understand. She also generally wears baggy t-shirts and doesn't really do much about her looks. Like she's the last person I would expect to be hit on.
I'm not being jealous or a b$tch. I legitimately don't get it and would love to hear thoughts.
She does seem pretty open to sex related stuff and I wonder if that comes across to guys - I don't know.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. For one she's built an aura around herself because she's open to sex related and/or sexual stuff
    2. This automatically brings about a demeanor that allows the males to know that she's comparatively open even w/o her having to spell it out
    3. If she's below average and she has an above average girl with her then most males prefer going for the 'below average' girl since they deem it lowers or nullifies their chances of being rejected
    4. Generally they won't want to go for girls that they think are attractive cause they are intimidated more by the idea of being rejected

    These could well be the reasons :)

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    • Those make sense and yet I feel awful for considering those. But I'm not trying to put her down!

    • I'm well aware that you aren't trying to put her down and that's well described in your question too :)

      Why feel awful? This is how it is and a part of life. Well the consolation is you are better :D

Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe she has a good personality. Maybe she's got qualities people besides yourself find attractive. Maybe she's just more likable. Maybe she actually is pretty but your bias is clouding that? If you're going to judge your friend like this then maybe you aren't a true friend.

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    • I love how everyone thinks I'm bitter about this. I'm not, I'm just confused by it - and trying to understand how this works in guys' minds since so many seem focused on looks.

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What Guys Said 13

  • https://oilersnation.com/uploads/Image/haterade.jpg

    Sound pretty jealous and bitter to me.

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    • Ugh it's not about guys hitting on me or not. I honestly don't understand it because so many guys on this site seem to focus on girls' looks, and this goes against that. I'm not bitter or jealous. I'm just trying to understand.

  • Much of what makes a woman approachable is her facial expression. If a girl doesn't look approachable, guys won't approach her as much. If your friend is quick to smile, and make eye contact, then guys see that and think, "okay she want's to talk".

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    • Maybe yeah - even if she's honestly not very attractive?

      I feel horrible for saying that but think like Rosie O'Donnell but less pretty

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    • Yeah I guess - and I'm being kind of unkind but legit trying to understand.

  • She must have big tits... And yeah, you are being a jealous bitch

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    • No I'm not. I hesitated to ask this question because I feel terrible about it but given how much focus many guys on this site seem to have on looks, I'm trying to understand something that really doesn't make sense to me.

    • Does she have big tits?

    • That's confidential

  • Maybe guys aren't as superficial as you think?
    Also, unless she is standing next to supermodels, she only needs to be "beautiful enough" at that specific moment. Also, personality does make up for a lot. She could be very charismatic, a breath of fresh air which is very attractive by itself.

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  • how does she interact with guys? if its all sexual and she is "bangable" then that would make sense.

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    • It seems kind of sexual or at least she says she gets into sexting pretty quickly on tinder... but at least by society's definitions she doesn't appear very bangable to me (as a woman who is only interested in guys, of course).

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    • That escalated but not really because it's Tinder.

    • Tinder nightmares on Instagram has some hilarious ones (and a lot of bad ones)

  • Maybe guys see her and think "a homely chick like that is probably so desperate to get laid that I could be hitting that stuff tonight!"

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    • That's what I was thinking but I feel really awful thinking that. I feel bad even asking this question but I want to understand.

    • And she is really quite pretty once she adds makeup. And she's a fun person. She just... with her normal outfits and lack of makeup I just don't understand why guys would be interested.

    • Quick easy sex! I am not endorsing that attitude; I am a monogamous, serious relationship guy. But many younger guys think like I described.

  • "She does seem pretty open to sex related stuff"

    Welp that solved that great mystery

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  • Getting hit on is dependent on the energy you give out, rather than how you look. Some people call it aura, some call it posture.

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  • Sometimes its just the vibes a person have around them.
    She might look friendly or approachable

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  • you have my honor! I only hit on hot girls and i will have a hot girlfriend!

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  • Do you want to like her?

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    • If you like her, you will learn some behaviors what can be attractive to guys from her. I think her is attractive to guys maybe because her is open, outgoing and confident to chat with guys.

  • And they say men are more superficial than women, HAH

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  • If she's overtly sexual and flirts well, then that plants the though in guys minds, but also makes it easier for them to make a move.

    Its much harder to make a move on a girl who is proper or quiet without it being awkward.

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    • Yeah she's pretty sexual, surprisingly so, and especially on tinder. So maybe that makes sense.

What Girls Said 4

  • Mabye but i Doubt it but then again who knows What dude sur be thinking do we even want to know?

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    • Hahaha some maybe not...

    • Them Pervy all of them without exception i could care less mabye thats Why she gets hit on cause she doesn't care not that i get hit on but when i do i know Why

  • My dilemma everyday 😂😂😂 my friends get hit on all the time while I stand aside and wait

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    • GOT SMILE! (:

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    • *good with makeup

    • Maybe it's the personality that attracts the guys not just looks

  • Maybe you need to try?

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  • Lol.

    Is she me?

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