Nice or flirting?

How can you tell the difference? There has been times when I've misread both. There has been a few times where a waitress seemed to be flirting. And when I went to go find out I discovered they was only being nice. At other times I've thought the waitress was being nice when in truth she had been flirting and I only found out later the truth. There's been times when I see a girl in a bar looking at me and I'd go over to speak to her and be shot down. Then there has been other times I see a girl in bar looking at me and figured it must be another one of those games and just dismiss it, and only find out later she was indeed interested. This is so confusing that I don't up from down or left from right. Is there any specific clue that says one way or the other?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually its hard to tell the difference between nice and flirting because yes theyll be talking to you and smiling but those are the only similarities.
    NICE: vaguely interested, smiling, friendly, etc.
    FLIRTING: very interested, teasing, smiling, etc

    not sure how else to explain it lol

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What Girls Said 3

  • Follow their eyes? I don't know, I can't think of anything else that might show interest. .

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  • Does she go out of her way to talk to you? Flirting touches can be hard to determine if they are slight and in danger free zones but looks for frequency. Does she keep touching you? Does she touch other guys... Check her behavior with you versus others.

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    • No she's never touched me and I've never noticed her go out of her way to talk to me except maybe once, when I complimented her on her new hair style. Something was extremely odd about that encounter because she just stood there asking me the same question 3 times when it was clearly obvious I was taking care of that. Maybe she's shy? She is very different than any other girl I've ever met before. When I'm speaking with her she gives me her undivided attention. Now I don't know if she's doing that because she wants too or because she believes she needs to, because of her work environment. However, I'm not an employee nor a patron. of her establishment I just come by to work on some machines from time to time. But I have noticed we've exchanged a few long glances at one another at a distance, she doesn't smile it's just a blank look on her face. She doesn't really know me and maybe she's unsure of how I feel? I can't really tell?

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    • I wished I had the time but I got to get this figured out in 24 hours, I go there tomorrow. All I know is she looks at me like no one else does and I go to a lot of places. She's extremely nice towards me but she's never hinted at anything, she doesn't ask me any personal questions, she treats me with a great deal of respect the model of maturity. And this girl is an EMO chick, hardly the type of girl you'd think would give a crap about being cordial.

    • I've never in the history of my life had a girl ask me if I had a girlfriend, what I liked to do, or even try to touch me. Girls just don't behave that way around me. So, unlike most other people I don't get the clues others get to measure interest.

  • I can always tell from the look in their eyes. Its almost like a sparkle, glimmer, look. Their eyes light up when they interact with you. Unless they are shy, then they start to fidget, look at the ground, avoid you and so on.

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    • I don't know about no sparkle or glimmer look to someone's eyes, never seen that before.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, there are differences and basically I think it's the intent.

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    • Well, intent can't be seen.

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    • I appreciate it, I truly do but I don't need to know about myself. Besides I haven't noticed much if any of those things. No way can I tell if someone has dilated pupils. I've not seen any smiles, blushing, mirroring, no flirting touches, head tilting, or fidgeting. Nothing like that! I've never really spoken to this girl much, mostly I just avoided her. I don't really know why, other than to say she made me feel uncomfortable When she looks at me it just freaks me out. When I have spoken to her, her gaze is so intensely focused I can't pull my eyes away from hers. I've never seen anyone look at me the way she does and I talk to a lot of people. Yet, she ask me no questions but she's beyond polite with me, it's extremely cordial far more so than the talks I have with other women. So, I'm at a total loss on this and can't figure it out. So, much is missing that should be there if it was anything else but someone being nice.

    • you can't really tell based on her actions. It is just right to maintain eye contact and others
      can keep it up longer w/o any other intent, which is how i am most of the time. Hang with her often then you'll get to see other sides to figure it out.

      @serious is there a version for girls? i mean for the opposite gender.

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