How do you keep casual contact throught text until the next date?

Hello everyone,

About 2 weeks ago (on a wednesday) I met a girl at my univeristy. She added me on facebook the very night we met. We started talking on facebook and eventually moved to whatsapp (basically texting). During the weekend after I met her, she went to a party, where she got a bit tipsy. Throughout the night, she texted me the sweetest things, stuff like "you are sooooo cuteeeee" and all that. I loved it, since I like her too.
The next morning, she started with "omg, you are so cute". We texted for a bit and eventually decided we would grab a coffee on Monday.
We went to my favorite cafe and it was fun. We talked about a lot of different things; we were simply getting to know eachother.

Sadly, we are both in the exam weeks. She has considerably more exams than me and she is very bus with them. She told me that she liked our coffee date, but that she simply doesn't have any time to meet up until after exams. She added: "besides, there is nothing wrong with taking this slow right?" I told her I wasn't i a hurry myself and that is was fine. She replied: "ohh thank god".
I took this as a rather positive sign. We would simply go on our next date as soon as the exams have past.

However, I have realized I am a bit clueless when it comes to texting. I seem to be used to texting quite a lot when I like a girl. This time however, it went from 100 to 0 in a matter of days, most likely since she is simply busy with studying. I have no problem with the fact that she is busy studying or that we don't text as much. I am only worried that she might lose interest in the 2 weeks of exams and that should wouldn't want to go on a second date. I have decided to keep my cool and not text her to much, to give her space basically. I asked her yesterday how she was doing and we talked briefly, but that was about it.

I find it difficult to decide what to do. Should I text her every so often and ask how she is? Or should i rather say nothing, let her text if she feel like it, and only after exams ask her out again? I would like to know what you think. Girls, what would you prefer situation? Guys, what would you do?

Thanks for reading!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah dont text too often seeing as she is busy and has said as much text her every other day or every few days just to check in in case you think she will forget you and then a day or so after her exams mention you would like to see her.
    Texting a girl too much could ruin or build it, and if you and she are just starting to build chemistry do not push too much conversation over messaging until things have developed more in person. I doubt she will forget you. she thinks you are cute!
    Also too much messaging is forgiven in a relationship, not when now meeting a girl, it seems suffocating and is seen as a warning sign by everyone both men and women.

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    • Yes exactly. The last thing I want to do is to overwhelm her with texts. I asked her when her exams are earlier this week and I will simply wish her luck or ask her how it went. other than that, I will give her the time she needs to study. After exams, we'll see whether she would like to go out with me again :)

      Thank you!

    • No problem my pleasure

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm gonna go ahead and say play this aloof. I've learned from past experience that staying in touch and texting 24/7 or everyday can rail road your chances of anything with her. You want to date and have fun, but don't come off as needy, you do t really need a relationship or girlfriend to be happy yourself. Stop texting and disappear for awhile, and by this I mean devote your time to improving and working on you, friends, hobbies. She'll come to you if she wants to hangout. When she texts and asks "what's up?". Just text her, "hey, been super busy, want to hangout after finals?" Tell her time, place, date, and go have fun.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Find out when her last exam is, and celebrate by taking her out for drinks and dinner!. It sounds like she really likes you, but she has been studying really hard all semester, and it's time to focus. ( you will keep). It's good to see that she is so focused on her career!

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    • I am glad you are positive about it all!
      And I agree, she is really studying really hard, especially now. Like I said, I don't have a problem with it (in fact, I think it is a very good thing she does study this hard), but I was simply a bit lost as to what I should do in this situation.
      Thank you for your answer :)

    • Just abide your time, and don't text too much. You will come access as too needy. You want her to know that you are a serious candidate for a relationship. And this involves giving her space and support to pursue her own goals and interests. just be supporting by maybe asking how her exams are going.

  • No I don't for me it would seem forced. I usually know by the third date or so if I want a relationship with someone. After that we see each other several times a week and text or whatever if we think of something to tell them or whatever.

    I had a new boyfriend one time that called me every night of a business trip. The first trip I was taking a certification class and exam and didn't really have time to talk as I needed to study. The other trip I had to take clients out to dinner and drinks until late and run in the mornings. I hated it that he called me when I was out of town. He didn't do it while I was in town and I felt it was inappropriate. He seemed to think because I was out with clients they'd be flirting with me when in fact I would lose my job if I ever had any sort of relationship with a client nor did I ever want to as I'm a professional. So lame of him he had to go.

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    • I see, i agree that it is weird that he always called you when you were out of town.

      It sounds like I should just let this be for now. in other words, not text her until she is done with exams. What do you think would be the best I could do in my situation?

    • Show All
    • My university works with 2 semesters, which are divided into a total of 4 quartiles. One quartile lasts for about 10 weeks, 2 of which are reserved for exams. During Christmas and new-years, the entire univeristy is closed for a week so that everyone can be with family.
      I like the system, as all courses only last a quartile. You have a ton of free time atfter exams because the next courses have yet to begin.

      Indeed, I will only text her to wish her good luck with her exams, as I had asked before when those were. Other than that, I will keep it cool until the exams are over. Thank you so much! :)

    • yeah dude maybe text her a couple times wishing nice thoughts but keep the convo limited to like 5 messages between you two. Make your presence known at the table but dont give away your cards

  • You should wait. She would text you when she have time again.

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  • I'll tell you what... If a girl really likes you, she's going to LOVE hearing from you. Now this doesn't mean that you have to text her every 15 minutes or whatever. See how's she doing day-to-day. Keep her knowing that you're still interested and thinking about her and then if things keep going well, by the time exams are over things can get on their way. Obviously she was pleased that it was okay with you, that you take things slowly. So do just that: take. things. slow.

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  • I would say just send simple and nice texts in the morning varying from "hope you have a good day" to "study well" with smiles and studf

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What Guys Said 2

  • my rule of thumb is keep your messages one line longer than hers and take twice as long to reply or longer. Dont try to keep the convo going if she's boring just stop texting her. you can also live by the "text her half as much as you think you should" rule.

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  • Talk about something that happened in your day.

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