Why doesn't he talk to me?

The guy I like likes me too. We have being flirting back and forth for a few months now. We had sex a couple of times. We talk a little but he speaks Spanish and I speak English so it is kind of hard. I have learned a lot of Spanish and I talk to the other people at work in Spanish. So this guy never talks to me when there are other people around. I have seen him talk to everybody else. He talks to me but only when we are alone. So I moved really close to where he lives and we work. He told my friend when he found out "Oh good, now I can go home with her every night after work" and something about "now he can take care of me" (not sure what he meant by that). So, I sent him a text message on Friday asking when he was going to come see my new apartment. He responded "perhaps tomorrow". So the next day came and he left work early. I sent him another text asking if he was going to come over. He never responded. So about 3 hours later, I got home and sent him another text saying "I am a little hurt that you didn't even answer my message so I am deleting your number and I am going out tonight". Within 2 minutes he responded, Yes I am coming over but it will be around 1or 1:30. I waited about 30 minutes and said "I am out, I will call you when I get home". So I went out, had fun and around 1 he texted asking where I was. I told him I was on my way home. He called like right after asking me when I was going to be home and where I was and blah,blah blah. I told him I would be home in like 20 minutes. He met me at my house, walked in, I gave him a quick tour and we sat on the couch. He leaned over and started kissing me. So long story short, we had sex and he got up and was leaving. He said "maybe I can come over next Saturday".

I kind of nodded and he left.

I felt used and stupid. I mean I enjoy sex with him but come on.

I sent him a text a little while later saying "I don't think this is going to work. You don't even talk to me. If we are not even friends then I don't want to do this anymore."

He didn't respond.

I saw him at work 2 days later. He usually smiles at me but this time he saw me and he looked sad. He didn't speak to me or smile or anything. I was polite. I smiled and said thank you, like I always do.

If it is just sex, then why does he treat me differently than everyone else at work? If it is just casual then why does he act so strangely? Why did he seem to panic when I said I was deleting his number? I am confused by his motivations. Why did he tell my friend he could "take care of me now"? I am so confused by this guy. I like him but I don't understand him. How do I get him to stop acting so weird?

My friend asked him today why he didn't even say good bye the other night. He told her "I know, I know, I feel bad. I am so sorry". She told him to tell me that. He hasn't said anything to me about it yet.
Thanks to everyone for the advice. I sent him a text asking what he wanted from me. he didn't answer so I told him I was deleting his number and not going to bother him anymore. I deleted his number and didn't even look at him today at work.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Some of this may be a language barrier issue, but I think a lot of it is an immigrant guy trying to get standing with the other immigrant guys.

    In an area I used to live in, newly arrived immigrant guys got a lot of respect for simply bedding a US-bred female. It's pretty disgusting behavior. Not all of these men act this way, but many do. It's unfortunate, you'd think a fresh start would be more important than being "the man" as oppose to being a man.

    • The problem is that he has not told anyone of his friends about us. All of my friends speak Spanish and they said he hasn't said anything to anyone. So if that is what he is doing then why hasn't he told anyone? Plus he has been here in the States for 2 years now.

    • Show All
    • I was curious about his behavior. He can't seem to decide what he wants. One day he is talking about coming home with me everyday and the next he is blowing me off. I do like him but I was looking for something kind of causal but I still wanted it to be with someone that I was friends with. I was just confused about his behavior. He likes me, he doesn't, he does, he doesnt. It is just a little odd.

    • How do you expect to have ANY relationship with a this guy if he runs so hot and cold?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Good for you! If nothing else, you showed your self-worth and that you can defend yourself. Now go find someone who doesn't use their language as a tactic.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's using you. You deserve better than that. I think he treats you differently because you are the only one he's having sex with at work. I think you should cut him off and find a guy who treats you with the utmost respect!