How to put the moves on a girl and getting what I want?

Kind of scared that a girl might get mad at me trying to make a move. I know that a guy is supposed to make a move, but when is too soon or too late. For some reason I am afraid to offend the girl, and also worried that it might be horrible since I am inexperienced. I want to lose my virginity, but have no idea how to go after it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Firstly, let me commend you for thinking of the girl's feelings and not wanting to offend her. Keep that in mind all the time, as it makes you exactly the type of guy that girls want to meet!

    Never, ever worry about it being horrible! Everyone is nervous about this, both guys and girls. Girls are always flattered that they are wanted. But neither do you have to make the first move. Girls often make the first move, and they do that when they feel secure, respected, and know that the guy is genuinely crazy about them. Instead, when things start to get heated, be more concerned about exploring her, talking to her, letting her know that you're wanting to please her, etc., and she'll guide you.

    I would stop to ask you, however: why are you so concerned about losing your virginity? Is it just a strong desire to have sex? If that's the case, that's perfectly natural, and don't let anybody criticize you for it! Wanting to have a healthy sex life is an important and worthy objective in a balanced lifestyle.

    However, I always worry about people having a healthy first-time sexual experience, as it sets the pattern for the rest of their lives. I'm sure you want this to be memorable, so that you can look back on this later in life and know that you and the girl both think of it as a great time. The best way to achieve that is to first let go of your feeling of needing to rush into this, and instead worry about meeting the right girl to share this experience.

    To do that, you need to get out there, meet and date regularly, take good care to make yourself attractive, etc. If you exude good, happy vibes, and let yourself be emotionally open, then she'll walk into your life, *guaranteed*. Everything else will flow naturally.

    Remember: great sex can never be forced - it only happens when the right people connect for the right reasons.

    Good luck,


    • Yes, but how do you put the moves on without offending?

    • Sorry it took me so long to respond! Start small, I'd say. Kiss her hand, and make prolonged eye contact. Smile and rub her hand. In each case of something small that you do, wait for her to make some sort of corresponding move. If you kiss her hard, see if she moves closer, or touches your arm. If you make prolonged eye contact, wait for her to maintain it, blush, or lean into you. It's like a chess game. For each thing you do or say, wait for her to do something either positive or negative.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It should come naturally. I mean the first move. If you're already close or cuddling its easier to let hangs wander. Well you can always stroke other areas first, like her back, when you're embracing, and see how she responds.

  • Woops - that last message has a spelling mistake! I meant to say "kiss her HAND", not kiss her hard. LOL

    Good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • These girls answered as if they wanted you to stay a virgin forever, which is only natural for them.

    Never ask a girl what she wants and expect a straightforward answer if it is something about attraction, unless it is very straightforward like "I like guys with six packs" or "I like guys who make me laugh". You should know by now that being a nice guy doesn't work, after all, you're on the internet with a question like this.

    You have to be comfortable in your own skin man. There is no pick up line, no body language ebook, that can teach you this. This is done by sitting down, writing out everything about yourself that makes you uncomfortable in social situations (or ANY situation) and overcoming each and every one of them one by one. Some will be easy and won't take much to come to terms with, and others will be deeply rooted in depending on how f-ed up your self esteem is. By the time you are done with this list you will know much more about yourself and it will be very difficult for you to feel uncomfortable, self conscious, or any emotion associated with weakness. You will have to actually try to feel these things if you follow my instructions right. Mind you, you have to use logic. For example, if you think you're unattractive and this makes you uncomfortable around really attractive girls, saying "Beauty is only skin deep" to yourself may work for you and it may not. But remember, you cannot fool your subconscious. If you really are just an unattractive person it is better to say "Oh well, I have a zillion other great qualities that makes me an excellent option for dating" or something that is actually logical then you have a much better chance of succeeding.

    So basically if you do that you will notice a lot of change in your life, and not just with women. I couldve gave you a list of pickup lines, or body language tips, but that would be giving you a fish. Id rather teach you how to fish. your post indicates that you doubt yourself a lot and women don't like that. they can smell it from a mile away. if you think I'm lying or exaggerating, pick a woman. any woman. and observe them for a week or so, and when I say observe, I mean like straight up spy on them. your mind will be BLOWN. I guarantee it. women think so much differently then men do because they percieve things so differently, but in all of this you have to remember that women like anything else correspond to a pattern. And luckily for you, they aren't aware of it most of the time. so if you observe her right and be smart then there shouldn't be a problem.

    when you meet a girl, first get comfortable. Actually, when you wake up, get comfortable. and focus on staying comfortable throughout the day. I'm not saying don't work hard, I'm saying be comfortable. after uve got that down focus on understanding her. and I mean understand her to a great level, especially if you're trying to sleep with her. you also have to understand that most people don't know what they want and this girl is no di