Why is my boyfriend avoiding me?

So here is the story...I went over to my boyfriend's house to talk to him about some issues I had with the relationship. My intentions were not to argue/fight just work them out civilly. However, in the middle of me telling him how I felt he just blew up and said I'm too stressed to deal with this right now, and walked away from me. I will admit I am a very impatient person and I wanted to talk things out right then, so I followed him outside and tried again to talk to him. Now he is yelling at me and telling me the same thing that he is too stressed and does not want to talk right now. He was very angry, and can have a bad temper...but he has never hit me or thrown things. So I didn't know what to do and asked him if he still wants to be with me. He yelled in my face and said, "don't ask me that right now...I'm about this close to breaking up with you!" (he pinched his fingers together for measure). Then he told me to leave and I have not heard from him in 4 days...and I have no idea when I will. Furthermore I don't even know if we are really together since he threatened breaking up with me like that.

Does anyone have any advice for me, I don't know what steps to take. I did try calling and he sent it straight to voice mail...so I left a simple message that I would like to talk to him when he wants and made it clear that I still loved him (because I do still want things to work out with him). Also, he hasn't changed his relationship status on FB to single...so its really confusing if we are together or not since he won't communicate with me. I'm so frustrated, angry and hurt.

Help please! :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know what your issues were that caused the fight. If a guy says I'm too stressed it means he's too stressed...it doesn't mean, like a lot of girls mean (and I hate!), I want to avoid talking to you right now because I don't want to hurt your feelings, I don't want to talk to you because you suck, etc etc.

    However, if your issues had to deal with infidelity, then his blow up could be his way of covering it up. If you think he's mad at you, you'll back off, and he can go on cheating.

    So assuming it was JUST that he was stressed out, then I'm going to assume that's what it is. Is it his job? his home life? what? Something's bugging him for sure...

    However, you following him out like that only pisses people off more... I say people because I'm like that. If I tell a guy I need time to think and he follows me like a girl does, I hate it and I get even more angry. I hate to say it but it's true. Us girls are totally impatient. A guy walks out and we follow when we shouldn't.

    I would say that you're still together since he didn't say you broke up...give him a little more time... if however a week goes by and he says nothing then maybe you can call and say, well I guess we're broken up now since I haven't heard from you. I didn't think we were but I guess we are...

    Or you could go the other route and say I'm worried about you, please let me know you're OK.

    Depends on how P O'd you are at him and what you want your results to be...


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What Girls Said 3

  • guys can be brutal in the way that sometimes if they get hit with issues they go straight to thinking they're doing something wrong. You were right to try to be civilized about it but maybe just give him some space for now. IF he really is stressed out then it'll fizzle out and he'll be fine after having some time to work out his issue. just don't let him manipulate you into thinking you did something wrong for HIM getting mad at you. If he doesn't cut it out well...you know the worse scenario : /

  • Maybe he's stressed out about something that he might not be able to share with you. He said he's too stressed about something right? So give him some time. He will get back to you after a while just be patient, meanwhile do something else to keep your mind off of things. If he still doesn't respond, you might wanna reconsider your relationship because if he is really serious about what he has with you then he should get back to you.

  • i think he just needs some time to work on his issues and it would be best if you gave him his space. You laready called him and told him where you were. Now it's up to him to make the next move