Are strong, successful, independent, women attractive?

I’m definitely the independent type. I’m not the sit back and take shit type of person. A lot of my friends actually say before they knew me they thought I was intimidating, not physically because I’m short but personality wise. Every one tells me they could see me in a CEO position. I feel like my personality though keeps any guy who’s interested from actually pursuing me. Sometimes I feel like I come off uninterested which is not my intent. I’m not necessarily needing a relationship but I’m open, except nothing ever gets anywhere. I’m not rude or cold to people but let’s just say I choose who I give my loyalty to carefully.
  • Hell yes!
    Vote A
  • No, I’d prefer to be the provider
    Vote B
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Just to clarify because so many people keep thinking this, I’m talking about being indepent without being self absorbed or cold.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • I like that trait but if go too far & appear cold & generally dismissive of any affection, then it can be a little off putting. I firmly believe the best relationships are on an equal basis throughout. Each one not sponging off the other so money never causes arguments. They can buy each other presents & treats of course but share the workload and bills. Obviously support the other temporarily if one loses their job too. Both should save their own surplus money though. Joint accounts are a dreadful idea & cause so many arguments.

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    • A joint account before marriage is a hell no. But if a man is not in the place he wants to be nothing matters accept working to get to that point. You can't get what you want before marriage, if you do it's no purpose to marry! So deal with what you can't. You should have those things for yourself. It takes time and if a man doesn't have it and a woman does, then she needs to date other men and he needs to focus on getting himself together. Money never causes an argument its usually someones financial irresponsibility between two people or life style habits

    • @FarinaLee great point but also, I see no harm in dating somebody so far less successful than me. Would love to meet a nice single mom for instance? struggling with life.(that's my knight in shining armour syndrome) with encouragement & loving support, I think most people can be successful. We are all born equal & often its just detrimental environment & negative people around that destroy potential in most people. A headstrong girl who knows what she wants, drinks pints (common sense cos half the time queueing at the bar) says what she thinks (honest) & just goes out there & takes life on, is a major turn on for me. With a good heart of course. Not just one of the selfish bitters who stamp on others for money.

  • I wish I could message you and have a conversation about it. ( I'm not trying to start a friendship or hit on you, internet stuff is not my deal)

    I'm very attracted to independent women. I like a girl who has goal and goes further. I almost get in a relationship with one. She was amazing, but she was moving far from me. I know she'll go really far. I think those kind of girls are the ones we need nowadays. I want a partner that I can feel like we are equals, and we both have visions and strive to be better. The things is trying to get a balance to not seem very cold. Maybe it could be learning each other languages of love or something, and try to make the other feel the appreciation. I don't mind the idea of a partner who has a higher salary than mine. I really don't want a woman dedicated to her house.

    Women are capable to be in " men dominated environments" and I think they can make them balanced without the need of quotas. Soon we'll have way more females with college degrees than males.

    Confidence it's so attractive.

    We need more women like you, and also you'll find a great partner bc a man who likes a woman like that tends to have a forward thinking and you'll avoid degenerates.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I have the same type of personality and I FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! 😱

    I do think that being independent, aware of your surroundings, knowledgeable, in charge and with a serious character simply scares men off. And to be honest, I think is better that way. Because those who get intimidated by you, they are usually comparing, measuring and treasuring their egos. And instead of giving you a chance, they prefer to look like cowards before “you” hurt their little ego. YES! There will be a guy who will be delighted and intrigued enough, who will get the courage to approach you because he will see your worth. I wouldn’t worry if I were you, be patient sweetheart... Is better to get quality than quantity. 😊

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    • Being strong and independent doesn't turn men off, but that tone you used certainly would. In my opinion, if you talk that way to men or in your daily life most men won't want to date you.

    • Very well said Anonymous

  • I am right there with you lass! We share many of the same personality traits. My first husband left me financially secure. I am employed in a predominately male organization, in a traditionally masculine field. Indeed, the few female friends I have, told me they initially found me aloof and 'formidable'. I project confidence and expect directness from others. Yes, some folk find this intimidating.

    I happen to be in a leadership position at my work. In the past, I have had some of the issues you mention with others round me. However, a friend gave me the book "The Girls Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch) by Caitlin Friedman. Socially, "You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation" by Deborah Tannen, has been of much benefit to me.

    As to men romantically speaking, I am a (reasonably) happily married woman. However, this is my second marriage and I have eleven years on hubby. Initially, he was nearly put off. Sometimes, I am (without meaning to be) brusk. As it turned out, I ended up pursuing him. lol I was born in Greece and reared in Eire. So, I tend to go after what I want. I hope my comments have been of some benefit and wish you the best.

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    • Give me some things you learned from those books? What things helped you and what things did you have to change or alter after learning pointers in the books?

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    • LOL! Your last point, don't hint. I'm always calling my girl on that. She'll make some little comment or question... kind of like "do you think you should such and such or, do you think you should get this now"

      I'm always getting annoyed and saying "Is that your way of asking me to do this thing now? Why don't you just directly ask me instead of your passive aggressive way of doing it"

    • Thank you, for the acknowledgement. Please (if you so desire), let me know how things are going. It took sometime to happen, but i should not trade my hubby for ANYTHING! Yes, we have our differences (some of them major), but the joy of men and women is in the knowing. Besides, the makeup sex is fantastic.(grin)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 152

  • Of course they are.

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  • Yeah, all that FI has gone to your head. Your'e really not that special - you're really just like everybody else. And it's all fine and good, guys like you to be able to stand on your own two feet, but if it comes to "I don't need no stinkin' man" then all bets are off.

    If you think you want to wear the pants in your romantic relationship then get with another girl. Maybe that would work better for you. j

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    • This sounds like more of your own personal problem to be honest.

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    • I mean you can think that if you want. No where did I say anything about thinking I’m great. You obviously are just insecure. Oh well. I guess if being rude helps with your insecurities do whatever the hell you want it doesn’t affect me :)

    • Ah, the special snowflake - if an opinion doesn't agree with yours then they're insecure. Sure. LOL

      But you came here for validation and agreement, am I right? ;)

  • They are nice, knowing they can handle themselves, and not depend on you. However some of them have a bit of attitude... not saying is wrong, but that trows people away... probably that attitude makes people not be interested in you as well.

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  • It's not beneficial to have one earner in a household. And I'm not looking for somebody I can push around. And I like intelligent women and intelligence is correlated with success. So... I would say yes. As long as they aren't radical feminists.

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  • Well, I will say this; if you're an "alpha" type looking for other alphas, you might be in for an uphill battle... Alphas (by definition) tend not to like competition; *especially* from a domestic partner.
    You can see it similar to tiger or lion mating habits; both demonstrate viable alpha pairing models, but neither of them offer the "white picket fence". With Lion types, it works because the alpha female expresses her dominance among the other females & leaves "territorial" (trivial?) issues to the male. In the tiger types, the female is usually alpha over the male after the kids are born, but they're a lot more standoffish with each other...)
    And, of course, because they're such big cats, you might say "dedication" & "loyalty" end up falling by the wayside, simply because that's what it takes to maintain a position as an alpha organism.

    If you're after "power pairings", give up on happiness & call up the lawyers for solid contracts. Otherwise, settle for a Beta type who will dedicate themselves to "your cause"/your life. (Just be aware that Beta types won't challenge Alphas for you & need to be setup & trained before being able to challenge them with you; they don't do it naturally).

    Regardless of all that, it really comes down to home life and what you want to deal with on your "down time"... Do you want the jabs & sucker punches when you're trying to relax that keep you in top form, or do you want someone you can relax & lower your defenses around?
    It's all a matter of choice; just make sure your partner is on the same page of the story as you. ;)

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  • Let me put it this way... I find it attractive, despite that I'd like to be the provider for my household. That doesn't mean I have anything against my wife getting a job, but at the same time I want that to never be a necessity. If she wants to do it I have no reason to keep her from making that choice, even so I never want her to feel like she has to.

    For centuries the man of the house was seen as the provider. Call me old-fashioned but I find something incredibly romantic about that idea. They say it's misogynistic for the man to be the leader of the household. As I see it... that would make it the man's duty to make whatever decisions were best for his family. It would mean making sacrifices to care for them and bring them whatever joy he could. It would mean building his family up and protecting them. It would mean supporting his son's goals of becoming a chef, or his daughter's goals of becoming a housewife author of best selling novels.

    To me being the head of a household, and being the provider means it is my duty to forever love my family in action, deed, and emotion, being willing to give my all for their sake. I call that being a hopeless romantic, but if you call that misogyny... well I guess that's your opinion and I can't keep you from it.

    Again though... don't get me wrong. A woman who is strong, successful, and independent is attractive as all get out. I want my future spouse to be completely capable of standing on her own two feet. I want her to be strong enough that she doesn't need me... so that I know she's with me by choice and not because I'm forcing her or because she wants a crutch for her problems. I want to know that my partner has my back and that she makes me a better person as I hope I likewise make her better.

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  • Want the harsh truth no fluff?

    To the vast majority of guys it's a deal breaker no matter what they say.

    But that's okay you don't want those guys anyways ;)

    To those who truly do want a girl like you then it's not just attractive, it's a requirement and they won't even consider anything else.

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  • I always and only try to be with strong, intelligent, independent women. As it turns out, those are the only personality traits that really matter to me. As for being sexy... for me that more of a physical thing - If she's healthy and washed... probably, yeah! LOL!

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  • Any man that is confident in himself, doesn't have any issues with a strong, assertive woman, in charge, like CEO, or President of the company.
    Only the insecure ones find reasons to hate, and think women are inferior or can't do the job.
    Indra Nooyi has been Pepsi's CEO for 12 years!! She was born in India, and that didn't stop her from becoming CEO of one of the largest companies in the world!

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  • There are women out there that spend so much time projecting "I don't need you or anyone. " that is a huge turnoff. But being confident, independent is great as long add you can still be vulnerable, feminine to that someone.

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  • I surely like her strong and successful but in taking care of her husband and family and raising smart educated kids for the upcoming generation and of course i'd love to be the provider, thank god that i'm able.

    And about you, no wonder why your still single, you only need to become a man by all means...

    If one day you become a CEO, my advice to you is to never hire a guy like me...

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  • Quite honestly i like independent women.. I dislike the ones that want men to not be what our instincts tell us to be.. Basically if the person i am with has room in her life to let me be a man, than i am all for her being a strong independent woman as well.

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  • Independent woman are wicked atractive!! The thing is you need to learn when to lighten your self up. I don’t k ow you otherwise I could give a better answer but some times it is a need for a man that attracts the man some times it is the deciding you want a man that is atractive... some times it being volnerable... again... I really don’t know you! But these are some examples.

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  • Any woman I've known in real life that describes herself as such is only telling herself a half truth. They overlook their BIG personality that comes across as bitchy and crass. I know several and thats whats holding them back not being strong and Independent.

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    • I upvoted. I don’t know about the crass part. I too have known some women that have BIG personalities and won’t get out of their own way.

      A lot of men are thrilled to date an independent woman with her act together and success is a bonus. But not it you act entitled and fail to consider other people’s feelings. My way or the highway without even knowing it.

  • You sound awesome but generally I would like to be the provider. A woman who doesn't need a relationship though is a big, big plus for me. If she needs a relationship she is too weak to be trusted LOL I mean like I want a woman who needs one in her future of course but not desperate for one in the moment, that makes her make bad decisions. I want her to not get mixed up with 20 guys while we are getting to know each other and for me that takes a long time

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  • Strong confident women are awesome. Sometimes they feel the need to prove themselves and can come across too strong which can push men away. Be confident in yourself and manage that power with humility and you’ll do great

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  • Sorry if this comes off rude. Not my intention.

    Are you still willing to let a guy do things for you, if he understands that you are a very capable woman?
    Like if a guy says, "I am a going to the frig, can I get you something?"

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  • Not really. How much time do you think a corporate CEO has to be a mother? A wife? Spend time with her family? Cook? Help with homework? No CEO has time for that. All the successful women do is pay another woman to raise their kids for them via nannies or day care, and that is the opposite of attractive.

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  • I've said it many times before: The biggest issue with independent people in relationships is that it's very easy for their significant other to feel like you don't need them. Like my friend said, "It's great to feel wanted, but it's much more satisfying to feel NEEDED". That is especially true for men.

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  • It's not attractive to me at all. I want a woman who will have and take care of my children, not a woman trying to be a man.

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What Girls Said 35

  • Well there’s a big difference between an average CEO’s quality traits and that of a successful independent business owner who answers to no one.

    Most successful CEO’s of midsize companies have to have strong people skills even if they are a sociopath at heart, a trend amongst CEO’s.

    But you have to get on with the board and your direct appointments of department heads well enough.

    Successful CEO’s are usually good with people skills but not always.

    Business owners are often people that dont work well with others or on a team. Doesn’t require as much compromise or persuading.

    Same for relationships. It sounds like you don’t know how to play well with others in your personal life.

    Dream big but stay grounded in building relationships. You’re never too successful to need character witness or advice.

    I know only a couple of successful CEO’s of a midsize company but I have met and conversed with CEO’s of large private to public companies.

    Not standoffish at all, they draw people in. Seek to inspire people.

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  • I don't care what a man finds attractive, I just have to be me. If that's not enough then boy bye! At my age I am not worried at all nor do I try too hard to please men, you just grow up one day and realize that you meet the right person by showing who you really are... no tight clothing, no makeup, no fashion just you. Cause he has to love you underneath it all.

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    • If being you means that you like make up, tight clothes and fashion, that's alright, isn't it? You don;t have to give those up to just be you, must you?

    • Johnny those assumptions are a generalization in your limited mind about me. I dont wear tight clothing , I hate fashion and makeup and all my hair and nails are my own. But when a person wears those things its because they like to, its not about a man. Lol silly.

    • Johnny its as simple as learning what to give a fuck about to clear up my defensive response.

  • Yes, strong independent women are attractive but very few men can handle a woman like that for very long. Some men who don't like the independence end up staying with what they consider a * prize female* but cheat on her to make himself feel like a man and stroke his ego. A strong female needs an equal counterpart or else the man will always feel inferior to his partners successes and eventually resent her and yet still want to keep the *prize*.

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  • in my opinion, you sound like you may be stubborn and overly opinionated as in argumentative and firing back quickly or biting someone's head off. Donald Trump argues and talks back to everyone. His personality was judged by researchers to be very attractive if a woman were to behave that way. The missing puzzle piece is that it's attractive say for a female to be that way if they were in an adversarial situation like as your lawyer, your bodyguard, your civil rights leader, your CEO when another company is trying to bully yours. It's unattractive if she does that in her personal relationships if that's what she's like across the board with people. For more interpersonal success, you have to have the discipline to switch it on and off.

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    • Don't agree, obviously if is disrespectfully and aggressively bossy then not gonna attract many guys but if the bossiness is out of genuine support & common sense then I prefer a girl like that to be herself at all times. Pretending to be someone else at any times is manipulative, deceptive & a very sneaky unattractive way to behave.

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    • Lmfao the irony 😂 whatever think what you want

    • Well said Asker. Sent the bitterness off with her google stats, bad attitude. Just in time too before even more big words appeared like 'Erroneous' ? Don't even care what that means. lol

  • For sure they are. Knowing what you want and how to get that shit is super attractive. But don't confuse independance with being closed off. You gotta walk the line. You have to know when to furn it on and off.

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  • I'm not a boy but i think genuine independent women are attractive however wanna be strong women aka feminist are not. They are sensitive delusional women who who want to be viewed as strong in order to get attention/positivity from others as well as to get confidence and high self esteem. Ironically, they are constantly playing the victim hoping that they will get privilege. And this is a direct mockery towards their "strong independent" image.

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  • We are, and only insecure boys find us unattractive

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  • I''m one and a lot of regular guys feel intimidated by me. That's okay... they're usually egotistical jerks anyway. I still have plenty of friends.

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  • I'm in much the same position, but I'm a large woman and that helps to reinforce my position, specially since I'm dealing with mostly men. It helps that I'm as tall as most of them.

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  • Only men find that an attractive quality , it usually scared off boys. So continue to stand your ground, I know how you feel.

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    • And just because a woman is independent doesn’t mean she’s trying to be a man , it means she’s built strong and is going to make sure she’s ok reguardless.

    • Totally agree

  • I definitely have the exact same issue.. my boss even referred to me once as a ‘mini tank’, or my father saying I would make a great police officer because I ‘dont take shit from anyone’. I know there meant to be compliments but I just hear your masculine this is why guys don’t approach you. 😞

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    • The wrong guys won't approach. The control freaks who want a little stepford wife to pamper his weak ego. Guys with balls & one eye on a successful future will approach though.

  • They do get high calibre men. Look at Tiger Wood's ex wife.. she's with a billionaire now. Perhaps you are in the wrong environment trying to attract the wrong type of men or you just need to be abit more friendlier when striking a convo with them esp when they are too scared to get something going with you first.

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  • Intimidating is a great thing!
    Shows your true power to people, Plus if a guy is not interested that means he can’t handle you.

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  • If I were a guy then I would never have a problem with that. I have nothing against difference in age, race, physical appearance, socioeconomic status, income, education and all of that thing that society cares about today, to an extent (note that). And 'to an extent' because in the end we still have to be on the same grounds to understand each other better. Such as, he doesn't have to get a Masters degree, maybe even PhD even if I do, but it doesn't mean that I'll just marry an elementary school dropout, lol no. He doesn't have to be filthy rich but he has to be able to afford a family. You get it, right?

    However I wouldn't mind if she was not very independent. Because then as a guy I would be providing her with things anyway. A woman should be able to choose what she wants to do in life, even if it means being a traditional housewife. But I do encourage every woman to be at least capable of sustaining a family by herself because you never know what tomorrow brings.

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  • I am a strong confident independent woman. I work , live on my own.

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  • I'm confused by this because when I think strong woman, I think lumberjack. Physical strength. Not strong because she doesn't take shit from men. What do you call a strong man? a man? Or is it physical then?

    Honey, I'm a physically strong woman who is SELF-CONFIDENT b. c I know self. My husband is greatful b. c he knows I'm not one to worry about. I hate to say "real", but a real man, a man that confident does not NEED you to need him. If anything it's a plus to not HAVE to carry you hand and foot.

    My husband is a catering man, but I only need to cater to pedicures and massages. Or when I am unable to do something, which hap
    Bottom line. dont change, b. c when they leave your ass.. u gonna regret changing for such a loser!

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  • Its not the dark ages...& if we want it done how we like, just jump right in handling it!

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  • I get being able to support yourself as a febut I don't wanna pay for everything

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  • I'm straight but yes if I wasn't
    xx
    ~ Mrs Manson

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  • Yes we are

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