Guys, Should I wish him a happy birthday?

Question

So long story short, me and this older guy had a thing, we were friends and we use to work together. he liked me more than a friend tho. he has a girlfriend and he’s about 20 years older than me. We use to text 24/7 everyday for months and months. and we became very close. I always knew that he wanted more but i told him all the time that i love him as a friend only. And he said that he accepted that. But he didn’t stop flirting with me and sometimes it turned sexual.
One day i just told him that he was being very creepy and i also started to feel like he only wanted me for sex.
After that he kind of stopped texting me as much and after a while he didn’t even respond to my texts. It’s been about 3 months since we had any contact the only contact we had was when he wished me a happy b day on facebook. But a week ago he actually texted me, just asking for a favor. He didn’t even say sorry or anything for not responding to me, and he called me ”babe” like nothing happend... i didn’t respond to him. it’s his birthday today and i don’t know if i should wish him a happy birthday or not.. i very much care for him still but i don’t want to get used by someone and get hurt... any thoughts?

Answer 1

ItsNickkk

Xper 2

If you still consider him a friend why not shoot him a happy birthday text and leave it at that lol. Just don’t over do it. Make it a maybe 3-5 text convo at most if your uncomfortable talking to him but still wanna wish him happy birthday. Whatever sits well with you

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Answer 2

Sevenpointfive | 240 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

your actions don't match up with your feelings. my gut says don't interact unless you are ready to take it where you didn't before.

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Asker

+1 y
You mean i shouldn’t talk to him if i only want to be friends with him?
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
i get the feeling that you could cross that friendship boundary. you are really asking is it okay to do that.
Asker

+1 y
So i shouldn’t even wish him a happy birthday?
Show All Show Less
Asker

+1 y
No believe me i don’t want him like that.
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
then wish him a happy birthday. i have a friend like you are describing yourself as. she's really cool and it would make me happy if she did that for me.
Asker

+1 y
Then let me ask you do you think he even cares about me? Be honest
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
of course! i think that if she could get past the attraction between us we could become really good friends.
Asker

+1 y
Oh i thought you were into her.
But do you think my friend cares about me? Based on everything i said? Like more than just sex
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
yes. i can be attracted to someone and still be friends with them without compromising that friendship. the guy does care for you. you haven't indicated that he's been crude to you. he hasn't just texted you about hooking up or anything. he seems genuine to me.
Asker

+1 y
But why stop responding at my texts for so long? If he cares for me
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
because you told him he was being creepy.
Asker

+1 y
I don’t know what to think, im so confused. So many people have told me that i should just let him be because he’s a creep and only wanted to use me for sex...
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
maybe he does? maybe he doesn't? if you cherish your friendship with this man and can establish a boundary of friendship, then there is no reason that you can't have a relationship that is agreeable between the two of you.
Asker

+1 y
Yeah but he doesn’t seem like he wants that. He never stops flirting with me.
Sevenpointfive

+1 y
ok. then i wouldn't say anything to him. he sees you as a sexual object, or a person of interest.

Answer 3

Asker

You mean i shouldn’t talk to him if i only want to be friends with him?

Answer 4

Sevenpointfive

i get the feeling that you could cross that friendship boundary. you are really asking is it okay to do that.

Answer 5

Asker

So i shouldn’t even wish him a happy birthday?

Answer 6

Asker

No believe me i don’t want him like that.

Answer 7

Sevenpointfive

then wish him a happy birthday. i have a friend like you are describing yourself as. she's really cool and it would make me happy if she did that for me.

Answer 8

Asker

Then let me ask you do you think he even cares about me? Be honest

Answer 9

Sevenpointfive

of course! i think that if she could get past the attraction between us we could become really good friends.

Answer 10

Asker

Oh i thought you were into her.
But do you think my friend cares about me? Based on everything i said? Like more than just sex

Answer 11

Sevenpointfive

yes. i can be attracted to someone and still be friends with them without compromising that friendship. the guy does care for you. you haven't indicated that he's been crude to you. he hasn't just texted you about hooking up or anything. he seems genuine to me.

Answer 12

Asker

But why stop responding at my texts for so long? If he cares for me

Answer 13

Sevenpointfive

because you told him he was being creepy.

Answer 14

Asker

I don’t know what to think, im so confused. So many people have told me that i should just let him be because he’s a creep and only wanted to use me for sex...

Answer 15

Sevenpointfive

maybe he does? maybe he doesn't? if you cherish your friendship with this man and can establish a boundary of friendship, then there is no reason that you can't have a relationship that is agreeable between the two of you.

Answer 16

Asker

Yeah but he doesn’t seem like he wants that. He never stops flirting with me.

Answer 17

Sevenpointfive

ok. then i wouldn't say anything to him. he sees you as a sexual object, or a person of interest.

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