Is "playing hard to get" just a plain dumb idea?

Goes for both girls and guys. Please pick the most correct answer.

... Don't play hard to get. It doesn't work. Show attention. Attention works.
--especially toward girls.
  • Is Yes
    Vote A
  • Is Also yes
    Vote B
  • Is No (but I'm wrong)
    Vote C
  • Is I am a gecko and cannot answer this human query
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes. Yes it is. I could never see that actually working for anyone. I've heard the accusation that men enjoy the chase, but I dare to disagree. I can't imagine anyone enjoying making effort towards something the other person acts to not be interested in.

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  • If I’m playing hard to get that means I’m not interested.

    If I’m making you work for my attention and the chance to be with me than that’s me seeing if you’re consistent.

    No other way around these two.

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    • The last part makes the person practicing it a immature player.

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    • It is what it is, it’s not really a game it’s just a fool falling for a fool’s tricks. I don’t what I can go make sure my heart is safe and secure but no one attack guys for hitting and quitting and ghosting on girl you made a promise towards. Once the rolls switch I’m the “bad guy” ? Shh you too loud. 🗣👎🏾 @bamesjond0069

    • A lot of errors but idc.

Most Helpful Guys

  • The chase is fun, but pretending to be uninterested is just plain stupid.

    The chase should be all about taking small steps closer together, not no steps or reverse steps.

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  • I'd argue there's a good reason for it. A woman is approached by many suiters. She has the task of picking the best one. So it's in her best interest not to pick the first one or the one that gives the bare minimum effort. This forces the male to be superior than the competition and put in the effort. What you have is a woman that is confident in her choice of a mate and a man who is of superior quality than others. Both win.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Those who “play” hard to get are indeed wrong. Those who really are just “hard to get” aren't dumb because of it. Yes, there are people who are NATURALLY hard to get, and isn't playing and pretending to be.

    ps no im not that person because im not a dime lol but i know some

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    • Your polls though lol but yeah i voted yes

    • “Playing” hard to get is fine if it’s truly understood that they’re already “got” but just playing.

      Actually being hard to get is actually hard to get, which just makes everything difficult. It’s not like they’re *trying* to make it difficult, so we can’t call it “plain stupid” but it’s not like it’s a good way to go about things either.

  • I think to an extent if you act to eager it can sometimes be a turn off

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    • Maybe, sure. But playing hard to get, the other extreme, isn't good either.

    • Yes sorry I was going to add if you play hard to get some people it may work for a little while, but then they will get over getting nothing out of it or bored and move on.

  • Playing hard to get is not a dumb idea cause if your easy then they will will stop trying cause you give in, but if you play hard to get and they really like you, they will keep trying to get you no matter how hard you are playing. I was playing hard to get for almost 3 months and one guy never gave up on texting me "good morning beautiful" "you look beautiful today" (even if he didn't see me) and so much more.

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    • I suppose there can be exceptions. He just sounds like he was enjoying the chase though; that's different from you playing hard to get.

  • I feel like its dumb I'd not play hard to get if u was interested in a person i feel like it would turn them off and I'd def ve turned off if someone was trying to play hard to get with me.
    Most guys have told me i play hard to get because i act flitarious then tell them am not interested but the truth is its just my nature and i will come off as flirty even if am not trying to be and if i say am not interested am not interested.

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  • If u like someone i feel like you should just let them know. Who has time for silly games?

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  • If I like someone they will know about it. I don’t like playing games with peoples feelings! And I’d hope they wouldn’t do that with mine

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  • Don’t make it too easy and come off needy, but don’t be a difficult bitch either.
    Be an adult and be direct.

    Then again some live for the chase. The catch bores them🙄

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  • Yes playing hard to get will not get no you anywhere in life. Boys can do. It only works on dumb people.

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  • Y E S

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  • What IS considered playing hard to get

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    • Good question. What do you think it is?

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    • Not showing up to a date is simply disgraceful and disrespectful. I don't see how that's considered hard to get.

    • I didn't say "not showing up to a date."

  • yes but i do it anyway

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  • I think so

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  • Lol the polls are bias.

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  • Personally, I think games are dumb. I’m pretty straight forward and if you’re not going to be that way with me that’s you're choice but don’t for a second thing I’m going to bother wasting another moment on you.
    While you’re talking more about the getting to know you phase and early on the games that really annoy me are the mind games that people play in a relationship, and sadly it’s mostly women when it comes to that.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Seems dumb to me. Even if making someone chase you can work on some people (wouldn't work for me, as I've had girls either playing hard to get or blowing me off so I just started dating other ones in the meantime; I wasn't going to twiddle my thumbs waiting around for them), that seems like a horrible way to build a lasting relationship if it's built on playing such weird and heavy-handed psychological games.

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    • In my opinion only a desperate guy would fall for that... like one willing to wait forever for the "love of his life" or whatever, even though he's only gone on a date with her (or possibly none). I don't think a guy who can get dates easily would wait around for some girl playing hard to get.

      But even though playing hard to get might work on the desperate guy who is willing to wait forever for her and keep chasing her to the ends of the earth, wouldn't it also work on a desperate guy not to play hard to get? That's just delaying the whole relationship even if the girl is aiming for the most desperate guys.

    • Take an extreme example like a young Brad Pitt. And he asks an ordinary girl out on a date... and she plays hard to get on him... being unresponsive, sort of blowing him off, pretending not to like him so much, etc... why on earth would that work? Far more likely is that he's ditch that girl and go for another one, given that he can get just about any girl he likes. And she's not special to him, she's not so wonderful -- they've only gone on a date or two. He's not the type that's gonna be smitten over some girl he only dated once or twice.. he's not desperate.

  • It is a dumb idea for those who don't know how to pull it off properly. Most guys love the thrill of the chase.

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    • Oh there's a big difference between loving the chase, and playing hard to get. I love the chase too.

      ... from someone that I know is actually fucking interested because they don't play hard to get.

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    • Thought so.

  • I’ve been through this a lot and I will never attempt anything if a girl shows me that she has no interest even though she does but doesn’t want to show it I’ll just go based off of that. Don’t waste your time on girls like this.

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  • Girls who play hard to get I usually just move on. I don't have time to waste on your mixed signals. Some other girl is waiting for me and isn't playing games and that is who I would be going out with not sitting home thinking about you.

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  • Us humans, no matter the gender, want what we can't have. It's a genius idea. It makes the attraction an addiction.
    If I'm attracted to a girl, and she doesn't give me the light of day. I won't stop thinking about her.
    If I'm attracted to a girl, and she over loads me with attention. I'll lose interest and probably start to get annoyed. Too much attention.

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    • Nobody's suggesting that loads of attention the other way around is a good idea either, but playing hard to get definitely isn't a good idea.

    • Your emotional part's in the brain needs to grow some more, if you in bad luck you get stuck there.

      The stereotypical thing relationship psychology say is that you doesn't see yourself as good enough so you get attached to those that you subconsciously see doesn't want you just to inflict what it does on you.
      An other is avoidance for get in a relationship since you subconscious doesn't see yourself as ready for that.

      Try to trigger the one's different emotional buttons instead of being passive and trying to get in bed instead of triggering enough of those buttons before going for sex kissing and touching more private zones.

      It takes a certain kind of emotional development to flip that around.

  • I do think it can give the wrong impression, but at the same time, I think sometimes people can have a reason for doing it:

    If a girl is playing 'hard to get' with a guy, then she might only be doing it to see how much he wants her and if he's not constantly going at it, then she might think he doesn't want her enough for her to care.

    Some may be turned off by someone who seems easy too, which is why they may do the opposite.

    It's not always easy to tell who's doing it though and since it does seem to be a thing, it can make dating and approaching harder for some.

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  • "playing hard to get" is good with all persons you aren't interested in. But if you try it with your crush (and she's a worthy girl), it's just plain dumb

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  • Maybe girls don't, they're just to nice to directly tell a guy to fuck off. Until he annoys them so much that they give in

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  • Pretty dumb. It can also be a sign of insecurity, of playing games, or even lack of game, lack of interest.

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    • I always hate that "playing games" is a euphemism for... something, but yes it's pretty dumb.

  • It works if there's already an interest for you. If not you're playing for the air

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  • It's a valid start to prevent you from doing to opposite and making yourself unwanted.

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  • nope, in my personal experience it works and is better than being overly accessible to a woman

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  • Does no good sometimes.

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  • OF COURSE!!

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  • You probably never even touched a woman in your life, considering you claim attention is how you get them. Playing hard to get is a dumb thing, but it works like magic on women. Nothing gets a girl hotter than a guy who is ignoring her. I dont know why are they hardwired like that, but thats the reality. Attention can only make you seem clingy and make her look for another guy

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    • If you want a certain kind of individual you shall do that game (usually females that are low developed needs that shit, they aren't girlfriend material).

    • @crazy8000 true, but I haven't seen the other kind in a lifetime

  • Sort of, but this playing hard to get thing isn`t for those that are unattractive lol. I mean, what do you gotta play hard to get for? you already unwanted and what not lmao

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  • No, it's not... if you actually have high standards.

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    • Ehhh... my standards are apparently pretty damn high (even though I think they're actually pretty normal) and playing hard to get isn't how it works, my dude.

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