Do you think girls 'playing hard to get' is authentic?

So if a girl, in your eyes "Plays hard to get" are they really playing or do they just not want you? In your opinion of course x
  • Playing Hard to Get
    Vote A
  • Uninterested
    Vote B
  • Other (DM me?)
    Vote C
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So glad I'm getting the responses I wanted, all spoken like gentlemen x
Wait i forgot my question was on the featured page what

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Most Helpful Guys

  • It's going to be taken as a lack of interest or game playing (which in fact it is). There is really no need whatsoever for a girl to do that- if I am interested in her, I do not hesitate. If she is interested and I either don't realize it or she isn't sure I do, all she has to do is flirt or even just smile a lot while carrying on a good convo. On the other hand, if she plays "hard to get", I will simply look elsewhere, so it would be counterproductive.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I don’t believe it’s a case of ‘playing’ hard to get or being uninterested. I think some women just are harder to get because they’ll test a mans interest before opening up their hearts to him. And to be frank, rightly so.

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    • These women have options, and that frustrates many guys.

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    • Thats not hard to get. Thats not being a slut. We are talking about two different things silly. Playing hard to get is things like texting a girl and she purposely doesn't text back sometimes, asking her out and she says no even if she does want to, basically just pretending not to be interested when she actually is. Has nothing to do with if a girl is slutty and has sex quickly with guys or is waiting until marriage both can play hard to get.

    • @bamesjond0069 pretending isn’t actually being hard to get though. Being hard to get is a girl who isn’t always available because she has a fulfilling life already and has options and just isn’t interested in sex before getting to know you properly. You’d be surprised by how many guys will label that ‘playing hard to get’whenits actually not. It’s just being smart about life and choices.

      If someone is pretending then they’re obviously not hard to get really, they’re just insecure from previously being used probably, or just love the attention- basically issues of some sort. Still no point in damaging them further though like so many guys have said they do.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 85

  • As far as I'm concerned, there is no "playing hard to get."
    I'll immediately take that as "unintersted" and stop.
    Even if someone really is playing "hard to get," I despise the idea of playing games in dating and I'll lose interest.

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  • If you're making life difficult for me then there's virtually no difference between being uninterested and acting uninterested, they look exactly the same -- and if it is an act then you're playing stupid games and that's a turn off too. It's apparent at this point that it's not effective.

    Just show your interest.

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  • I think it is a lose-lose approach. If she is young and inexperienced then some makes sense but there is no way I am going to accept hard to get with some high mileage wench. Hard to get in that case is just insulting one's intelligence.

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  • It depends on if she is literally "playing" hard to get. If I like a girl, there's only so long I would continue trying to get her, especially if she is giving of signs that show her as being not interested. If they feel as though they are putting on a false bravado as a way to get me to like them, thats a sign that they are childish and thats a turn off to me.

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  • I have no idea from my personal experiences. I think with the current dating climate, if somebody plays hard to get there’s a good chance the other person will just hook up with someone else because they think the first person isn’t interested or they can’t be bothered to work hard to court them when they can just get laid elsewhere.

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  • Depends on how she does it. If she's icy, dismissive and short you leave of course. It's almost a 100% certain she wants nothing to do with you.

    But if she's doing this while looking at you a lot and barely able to contain her laughter, then it means she has a genuine sense of humor and really wants you to go on. It's like affectionate play fighting.

    It's really not hard to tell the difference.

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  • Its a huge torn off for guys
    No woman that can use brain and is mature does not play this stupid game

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  • A girl playing hard to get and not telling the guy if she is or isn’t interested Is stupid. I’m aware girls aren’t that friendly than they were two year ago but the whole playing games is dumb. Period.

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  • I am much less interested if a girl is always available. If they ask to see you, don’t just tell them you are busy and can’t. Provide them with another day/time that you are “available”.

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    • Thats because you aren't talking to awesome girls. you're telling me if the hottest girl with the best personality who shared all your goals and views of the world was available, you would move on? I call bullshit. You just are talking to girls you dont really like but are cute enough to fuck with and so its all about a game and whats new and exciting. I used to be just like that and then i realized im talking to nasty skanks duh im not really that into them. Lmfao.

    • @bamesjond0069 Agreed. I meant the initial first dates. If they have a completely open schedule I’d be concerned.
      Do they have no social life, no purpose in life, etc.

  • I’m not a fan of games so if a girl is playing hard to get it any other game I’m not interested. I’m honest and upfront about how I feel and what I’m looking for and hope she will be too.

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  • Depends on how, when and why she does it.

    Like if a girl obviously wants you, but doesn't want to appear or feel easy then I'll play ball a little bit. Because she wants it. I want it. We'll work together to make it happen. Just need some time to do the dance a little bit.

    If she wants to MAKE me chase her for her ego, then I'm not down.

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  • I say other. A little hard to get to see if you’ll chase them. I’m ok with that, I enjoy a well played game of cat and mouse. But maybe not quite ready for a relationship or a couple more per chance meetings first. Just to feel you out. Uninterested, that’s not hard to get. You can tell right away is she isn’t interested.

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  • If she's playing the game in Hot or Cold while playing hard to get, she is immature or validates herself through you. When that happens you are more likely to be too good for her, she would leave you for badass thinking this is what she wants, then later in the future regret and search someone who shares similar values to yours.

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  • I honestly don't know because women are always unsatisfied. They are always complaining about something...

    But if they weren't interested then she wouldn't reply to my texts or keep giving me attention in some way or just flat out say it. Too many women like the flattery and will continue to waste your time while not trying to commit to anything.

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  • in my opinion i don't really care about their true feelings. if they are playing games i'm not interested in them

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  • All women play games, otherwise men would not be confused if they like them or not. Whereas very men play games, because women know right away if the guy likes them or not.

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  • Well, to be honest even if she is actually playing hard to get, I would assume she is not interested anyway.

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  • Honestly, if I'm coming out of my way to talk to you it's because I think you're attractive and I have no one in my life romantically. So, of course it would be extremely hard to continue to try to woo a girl that gives you the cold shoulder sometimes. Like you got me already, you can stop now. Sometimes, girls get too cocky about it, thinking guys will be there no matter how hard to get they can be. Some guys are the same, but those are only the ones that try to play as hard to get

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  • I don't care if a woman who plays hard to get wants me or not, but that woman will come of as stupid, silly and immature to me. Simple.

    Hence I would outright ignore her.

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  • Personally, I don’t even look twice at girls that want to be difficult. It’s 2018! I want girls that are straight to the point. I don’t play with infants no more.

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  • I always interpret it as not being interested. I have been burnt so many times by that shit that it has gotten very very old.

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  • Can´t really say, sometimes it is hard to take a apart from the two. With that in mind, i think if a girl really wants to be a guy, she will try to get his attention, some way or another, but she will do it.

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  • I don’t like the play hard to get because it is a time water. Either you like the person or not. If you do, it’ll be more fun having them around to talk and spend time with.

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  • I will never go after a girl that plays hard to get. Life's too short to waste time on immature games. If they want attention, they'll have to gain it from some other guy.

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  • Depends. If they are in the conversation then they are fine playing hard to get, but if you don't go along with the flirting then you seem uninterested.

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  • I think playing hard to get is stupid, it’s a big turn off

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  • They should want to know if you are really interested or just want to get them naked.

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  • I hate chasing after women, especially when they can run really fast.

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  • I consider it uninterest. If she was into me, she'd make time for me.

    Even if she was playing, I have no time for that bullshit.

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  • Well we're all social beings and have our own value on the grounds we stand upon so it's totally understandable if a girl is playing hard to get. She is simply portraying that he has to realise how precious she is.

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    55

What Girls Said 30

  • I don’t think girls should play any games period. If you are both naturally into each other, let it flow and continue to naturally work. I would hold off on sex for at least a month or two, so that you both know you are on the same page. Holding off on sex is not being hard to get, it’s being classy. There is a big difference between the two.

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  • Well usually even people play hard to get, I assume that they want to know if my feelings for them are real. For example, if one is doing the chasing and the other doesn't even lift a finger, well let's just say, that's not fair. And so it's more so a test, to so as to whether or not one does reciprocate their feelings such as making the first move, striking up conversations etc, but slowly it moves back to both making moves.

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  • depends on the girl and how "conforming she is". personally i think more equalist women will try to match you quid pro quo (50/50). But there are many women who want that patriarchally imposed feeling of "being desired. perks can include more traditional gender roles. cons can include barriers of commuication due to expectations about gender roles.

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  • Most of us aren't playing hard to get, we're just not interested.

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    • But you aren't saying so either, right? That way you still get the ego boost because he thinks he has a chance.

    • @spartan55 Um yes we are, I've said no thank you to a guy long time ago and kept asking to speak with me after I already told him no. Eventually he stopped and walked away.

  • If it is a guy I like I won't be too hard to get. If it is a guy I am not certain I like - I will make him initiate all the conversations - if he is too lazy to do that I cut him off. I deserve to be pursued and if a guy doesn't think I deserve that then he doesn't deserve my womb and heart and life.

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    • So in the same token do guys deserve to be pursued too? Or is that just your sexist ideals coming through?

    • No, it is not just you only that deserve to be pursued. We men have feelings like you and we also deserve to be pursued. You having a vagina does not make you royalty. I don't put pussy on the pedestal. Make him initiate all the conversations and he is lazy if he doesn't - no the one initiating isn't the lazy one, it's you who are the lazy one. Men with dignity and self respect are not going to put up with your bullshit. It is okay for a man to initiate, but it's never okay for a man to chase. Smart men know how to turn the tables around and make the women chase after him after a few dates, if not in the beginning. Get off your royal highness.. men deserve to be treated like loyalty too. Your attitude is krap.. I pity the bastard who marries a high maintenance woman like you. You are not worth all that.. seriously.

    • Where did the self-entitlement come from? lol

  • That depends. Some women actually don't want to be pursued, some enjoy being chased, and others just want to appear a certain way. There's no set answer when it comes to gender based questions 🤷‍♀️

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  • It depends how you define ‘playing hard to get.’ There’s a difference with playing hard and being classy and having beliefs & standards for a purpose. For some that means ‘sex’ others it means ‘mind games’ of whether one is interested.

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  • I don't think playing hard to get is authentic and I also don't think playing hard to get actually exists either that person is into you or not and just wants to play with you and have some fun. I think most people can't tell the difference between "playing hard to get" and having difficulties to open up to people. Everyone needs their own time to fully open up to someone and trust them

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  • That’s not a yes or no answer. So many variables are involved.

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  • I am horrifically guilty of this, but if I'm doing it, it's because I like you, so I'm testing you to see how long you'll chase me for, and see whether I can pursue a relationship with you.

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    • yeah, and how's that working? lmao

    • This is counterproductive to a good relationship. This also means that you're more likely to get with guys who don't respect boundaries, because they go after you even when you say no or act uninterested.

      Spousal rape is a thing.

  • Depends it can be both hard to get or uninterested depending on other positive encouragements or disengaged indifference. You would be able to assess this based on time they give you or their approach to talking to you.

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  • It only works if the girl actually seems hard to get, i. e. she's hot and very desirable.

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  • Nope, they are just playing. But there are actually women, who really are hard to get.

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  • I believe most us don't pretend to not like a guy for his attention, but that we don't find the guy attractive. it would be a weird waist of time for someone to be focusing on that.

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  • It really depends on the girl, but note: don’t always trust those play hard enough to have genuin feelings they might be playing with you’re feelings, sorry if this isn’t the answer you were looking for.

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  • I picked other but I will just explain here. I can only speak for myself. I have played hard to get in the past because I have fear of abandonment. In my head I was just protecting myself from getting hurt. I don't actually enjoy doing that.

    I don't do that anymore with men who are responsive and the attraction is mutual. If someone thinks I am hard to get then chances are I really am. If they showed signs that they are a fuckboy, cheater, or dishonest then I will probably be less responsive and eventually stop talking altogether. At that point I am not playing hard to get, I just don't want to be bothered.

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  • I'm always hard to get. If I'm uninterested, well, there's that. If I'm interested, I want to see if he is someone willing to fight and struggle for me.

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  • When I like a guy and if he shows interest I will just melt to his feet - If I don't like a guy I will just ignore him. I'm easy.

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  • Well sometimes i am just to nice to turn him down on the spot XD

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  • You can’t play hard to get with nothing. If you do, it’s just a play not serious. Play hard to get back fires too

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  • It really depends on the girl and the situation!

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  • Some men like the chase

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  • Uninterested 👌.

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  • It depends

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  • a basic instinctive trait of the stronger gender

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  • Yes I believe so

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  • Sure girls want guys to like them and play the game. Guys like playing the game too. :)

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  • Some girls like the game to catch a guy to make sure he likes her.

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  • It depends on what your idea of “play hard to get” is. If I’m simply blowing off their messages or hardly replying, I’m just not interested. If I’m into someone, I make that much known but maybe I’ll “play hard to get” on answering some things they ask me, like once a guy asked me what kind of kinks I have and I said “well wouldn’t you like to know 🌚,” which for me, was playing hard to get.

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  • Dont bother, you neef simple things right, life is already stressful

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