Getting a guy to fall madly in love with me?

I am, according to what people say, attractive physically and mentally. I do get a lot of attention from guys, but rarely does a guy fall madly in love with me, or become obsessed with me. I feel that guys like me, but usually they are more enthralled with someone else, who isn't always as typically attractive or smart as I am. I imagine there must be some secret. I believe that it may be "playing hard to get" which everyone says is a bad idea, but that is clearly what I have to do. Someone shed light on this.

by the way I do not "put out".so that's probably not it. This is greatly distressing me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Playing hard to get is a myth. It's something girls THINK guys like but in reality we hate it. Girls have a misconception that guys enjoy having to work for it, and the truth is that couldn't be farther from the truth. Most guys once they're out of their teens are sick and tired of women trying to make a game out of it.

    You may be hot, and you may be smart, but are you approachable? Are you in a happy mood? Do you dress in a casual manner when you're out? You know, overdressing can discourage guys because it gives off the impression that you're a high maintenance girl, and that's a bad thing. A simple top (or something just as casual), jeans that don't look like they cost $100 a pair, sneakers and minimal or no jewelry give off the impression that you're a friendly, sociable gal who isn't going to make me feel embarrassed if I want to approach you and turn out not to be "your type. Smile and have a good time. These are all things that contribute to you being "approachable".


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think a smile has a lot to do with this, along with a lot of other factors too, but on a simple level - say you get a crush - you may say "they're attractive, good personality -- oooh, now they're smiling this way; what's that mean? Do they like me, too? Is my shirt inside out?(lol, j/k) Should I smile back?"

    See what I mean though, once you initiate something by smiling to someone who's already attracted to you - they start thinking of all the what if's. And now you're on their mind.

    But it's certain smiles too, like easy-going -turned kinda mischievous smile, or a double take-where the person smiles and turns, then turns and smiles one last time - things like that make people curious when they're already kind of wondering. So it kind of goes two ways you could say, there.

    And always watch for an obsessive-totally-dependent-on-you type of encounters because there's always the exception cases of stalkers and weird encounters like that.

  • I do get a lot of attention from guys, but rarely does a guy fall madly in love with me, or become obsessed with me.]

    [rarely] :-O :-|

    One guy is/would be enough, isn't it? Or are you studying to become "La femme fatale" as the French call it?(the heart breaker)

  • try to play hard to get and see what the results it gonna be ,you don't have anything to lose right


What Girls Said 1

  • I have realized that sometimes it really isn't about looks. Looks get you in the door, but other things keep a man interested (not a guy obviously but speaking from my experience)

    You ever see a FIIIIIIIIIIINE, man and his significant other is not so.fine?

    So because you see a guy with another girl that may not be as hot as you, isn't really the issue. It's just something about that girl.

    It may be her self confidence, her easy going spirit. Her ability to lighten his mood/brighten his day with a smile and a hello and a cute joke.

    When you aren't "trying" so hard is when I think men are the most attracted to you. Be natural, be yourself and what guy WOULDN'T gravitate towards you?

    • I'd like to add that some men are attracted by cute intelligent, smiling, witty and/or cultivated women, even if they don't try, don't dress exactly like movie stars and all the more if they don't play it hard to get and sophisticated.

    • When you show you're not "that' into the guy he will always keep chasing you..

      and vice versa, they usually feel they "got" you, take you for granted, I guess it's human nature not just males..

      I'll give you an example: if you were totally in love with someone, and then he called you all the time and showed you how much he cares, would it feel the same way if he was a bit more distant and called less frequently? Not everyone is the same ofcourse, but this is the majority of people..

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