I do catch him looking at me a lot. I don't know if he talks about me with his friends, but I noticed he becomes clumsy sometimes around me and he will say things that don't make sense sometimes. He opens up to me about his life, traits, hobbies, etc. but for a shy guy, what does that indicate? He hasn't tried to befriend my friends, but he told me he felt bad for not saying hi to my friend at the store when it wasn't even his fault. The one thing that makes me think he doesn't like me is that he never will text me. We used to, but he stopped and won't even respond to me, even if it's about work. I'm always dying to text him, but I don't cuz I know I won't get a response.
I think you should text him just ask him whats up? He's probably internalising his feelings. Introverts dont like having to face feelings we always end up running away from them. Take the initiative and gauge his reaction. Nothing wrong with checking in with a friend, right?
I don't even know if he considers me a friend; we are coworkers. I know that probably makes it worse, but I only noticed that he stopped responding to my texts after I had to turn him in to my boss cuz he wasn't being nice at first. (he is nice now, that's not really a problem at this point. He's almost made a 180 in his behavior) Is he scared to speak outside of work now because of that? I don't know how to let him know it's okay to message me. He gets awkward very quickly about serious things.
look could be just me but sometimes I'm mean to a girl I like cos I can't bear to get rejected so I try to convince myself to dislike them and I affirmin my feelings by bring less than nice to someone I like. I think you turning him into the boss probably crushed his self esteem (we're very timid and easily hurt) so it's probably in your best interest to hit him up and maybe ask if you're cool. He'd appreciate that I'm sure, if he likes you.
I have tried to message him, even about work and he just won't respond 😭 and just for reference, I told on him 7 and a half months ago, so it's definitely been a while. We haven't had problems since then, and he's turned pretty nice. The frog basically turned into a prince, but he still has his moments. I feel like he is just afraid of getting in trouble again if he messages me, because I actually did show my boss some mean messages he sent me when he thought he was trying to be funny, but he was actually being hurtful. And I know a lot of guys end up being mean to girls they like, but I don't want to accept that. It can evolve into girls thinking that guys verbally/physically abusing them means they love them and stuff. There's a fine line between it all.
to be absolutely blunt you snitching on him probably really messed things up. He was probably trying to be teasing or funny and you snitching on him probably REALLY messed with his self esteem because to be perfectly blunt if you suspect he likes you he probably was trying to flirt with you but VERY clumsily. I think you should maybe ask if you're cool bluntly and see how he responds, then maybe tease him just to break the ice.
sorry for using the word blunt so much I needed to get it out of my system
Well, when you work with someone, it's a different dynamic. I am the only girl where I work, so he was used to having all guys there and he apologized for assuming I'd be okay with him doing all that to me, when I wasn't. When it's work, you can't treat your coworkers like crap, especially if you're the only girl. It's a really tough thing to be the only female where you work, and I didn't like how he was treating me. I wasn't being respected, and I wasn't gonna sacrifice my own respect for that. It needed to be said. I may have scared him with the texting, but he still continues to flirt if that says anything. He just isn't rude and mean anymore. The guy even knows when I'm on my period, cuz he leaves me alone when I'm on it (mysteriously). That at least means he's studying me, right? 🤔 If he's picked up on that.
ok I feel like you're reading into it too much. As a guy I can never tell when a girl is on their period but I'm super fucking dense. I think he probably just notices a shift in behaviour so he avoids you, I'd do the same. I think to progress all you can do is take the initiative or confront him. If he's truly introverted then he'd have been crippled by you snitchin so your're gonna have to take the first step if you want the ice to thaw. Just don't overthink it, and try not to read into it too much. As an introvert, we're more confusing to ourselves than we are to other people, sometimes we can't tell how we're feeling.
just take the lead here, he'll follow if he really likes you trust me on that
Lol no offense, but you're also 16, so you haven't mastered the art of paying attention to a woman 😂😂 seems like you've got a ways to go, but you did help me a bit. Guys my age act different than guys your age, so there might be a difference of opinion when it comes to that. He told me he's really observant (as am I), but he's surprising me more and more with his behavior. It's almost like he's turned soft. Way back when I first met him, he was just wild. Now he's seemed to tone down and mature a little bit at least.
I dunno, are you going to hit on him? I personally don't think he's going to reply back if you've texted him already and he has not replied.
We already hit on each other all the time 💀😂
He does all of those things!
If he does them all, then go for it, you will probably need to spark up a conversation, and start speaking about crushes or things, but go for it, tell him, he will probably feel the same
Okay the thing is, I don't think I can because we work together 😭😭 and I feel like he isn't making any moves bc of that. I bet he would if one of us quit lol. He doesn't even reply to me when/if I text him, even about work, but he'll respond to every other coworker within 5 seconds. It's really... upsetting.
Believe it or not that might be because he likes you, but is scared you don't like him. Look at it through his eyes, he is scared already, and doesn't want to possibly make his work awkward, or lose someone he likes, so he is doing the only thing he knows best, and is bottling up
... dang, you're right. But the thing is, I've texted him even about work and he doesn't respond? Speaking in a teamwork sense now, it's not really fair that he doesn't even respond about work. I get why he doesn't answer to personal things (I texted him and thanked him for some cake he brought me without asking), I feel like it's important that he at least respond to me if it's about work. He even went so far as to text my manager to send me in early bc he needed help. And I was like, "You could have just texted me instead?" and he tried to say that he thought texting our manager would "get my attention faster" and I'm like "?" that makes no sense! If he had time to text our boss, he could have texted me. I'm too scared to bring it up with him, because my crush gets awkward about serious stuff and then he'll just close up again. And I did tell on him to my boss 7-8 months ago because my crush actually used to be really disrespectful and mean toward me by making jokes at me. He hasn't done it since then, and we've made a lot of progress. He's basically done a 180, but I don't know what to make of him not responding to me. It makes me feel excluded from the other coworkers, and I'm the only girl where I work.
That is once again, he is bottling, and doesn't know what to do or what he should do, so he is doing what he has done before, bottling things, and pushing away, like he doesn't like you, when it is the opposite, because he is worried about what could happen. If he specifically requested you, then that shows that he did want to spend time with you, but was worried about asking incase it made him seem weird
He still has a bit of a pride/ego thing going on. We were scheduled to work that day anyway, he just ended up needing help before I was supposed to come in, so I came in early. He really could have just told me 😭😭 he's very stubborn, so it's hard to get him to do anything other than what he's used to.
However, does he do things he's not used to when you ask, and not when others do?
Uhhh, what do you mean? 😭😂 I'm confused by the question. He doesn't ever say "oh I can do that for you/let me do that" to the guys if that's what you mean 😂
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He is polite and nice to me, and even does things for me without asking, or he says, "Let me do that/I can do that for you". He has taken to apologizing recently; he used to not say sorry for anything. He does become a bit clumsy sometimes, and often says things that don't make sense. He doesn't ignore me or avoid me, but when I bring up another male (except for family members), he talks them down immediately. He gets a little quiet, too.
oh, I also forgot to add: he'll linger near when I have to help male customers, but not females. And then he'll say, "That guy was staring at you". I guess he's taking a protective stance that way?
Dang, you really are wise for your age. He used to not start any of our conversations, but he does now most of the time. He greets me first when I come in and when I leave. He used to never do that, and I'd always have to do the greeting. He beats me to it! Also, do shy dudes give you pet names? He calls me by my last name a lot, unless he is being serious. Sometimes he'll add "Miss" to it, which I don't know why he does. I'm only a year and 4 months older than him, so it's not like I'm an old lady 😅
Thanks, I'm very shy myself. He definitely likes you and yes, its not uncommon for people to use pet names.
I'm gonna take a guess and say that shy guys don't always text back either? He used to, but he stopped after I had to tell on him to my boss cuz he used to actually be mean to me. He's done a 180 and he's a lot better now, but he stopped responding to anything I send him after that. Even when it's about work. He brought me some cake without asking me and I texted him thank you for it, and he never responded.
He does make eye contact, always. He seems to like doing that, and I can't tell what he does if he's jealous. If I bring up any other male, he talks them down.
Lol dude, I stare at him and then I'm like "oh gosh, I'm staring again" because it seems like I stare way too hard 😂 but I always find him looking at me or hanging around when other males are around. He also seems to lower his voice too? I guess to assert dominance? 😂
From what I've seen of his actions, he's always doing things for me or saying "oh, I can do it for you/let me do that". And then sometimes he'll do/get things for me without asking. And he's taken to holding doors open as well. I know this doesn't count as an action really, but he's also now asking for my opinion on stuff a lot, whether it be clothes, hair care, or work stuff.
Yeah, he seems to hate it when I speak about any other male on the planet. He'll talk them down in some way as if to try to get me to see that he's a better choice 😂😂
Well he might like you also then yeah