Why some insist on being friendly even when you are indifferent and dismissive with them?

Question

Figure that one out.
I leave her on read, or answer sarcastically to her sunshine and rainbows stuff, and she just laughs it off or calls me "Tacchia" (a Scrooge-like popular character) or "Zio Paperone" (Uncle Scrooge).
Meh.

Updates:

19 d

To be honest she's a good collaborator, that's why I'm not too keen on blowing her off... she helped me with the Christmas donations and helps me with the writing of some articles for our association's publications.
I need her to make the research and drafts I don't have the time to do.

16 d

Yesterday I've given her some sweets because today is the Epifania, and usually children and sometimes women receive sweets from the Befana (a good hag/witch figure).
I've joked that she can't be a proper Befana without sweets and that's why I was giving them to her. She just laughed it off, said that joke's on me because she gets to eat all the sweets and even hugged me.

Answer 1

Account | 1.2K opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

I don't want to make this long, so I will give a short explanation, but mostly people do that in order to "win".

If you gave her more attention, odds are that she would be completely uninterested and maybe not even reply.

It is just how it is in most cases.

Jean-Marie_Céline

17 d
I think that too.
She started getting insistent after I ignored one of her calls. Before it wasn't like that.

Answer 2

Jean-Marie_Céline

I think that too.
She started getting insistent after I ignored one of her calls. Before it wasn't like that.

Answer 3

DizzyDesii | 398 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

She feels she can't live without you. Because no way i’d tolerate such bull unless i was desperate

Jean-Marie_Céline

19 d
We just worked together a couple of times, if that's the case it's really worrying.

Answer 4

Jean-Marie_Céline

We just worked together a couple of times, if that's the case it's really worrying.

Answer 5

Liam_Hayden

Guru

In real life I'm nice to people who are jerks. Why? Because I control how I behave, not how others are. And that little bit of sunshine, although rejected at the time, might stop the next mass shooter..

Answer 6

guesswhoseback

Xper 5

It’s because your indifference comes off as challenge to her and she is being cat like. She wants to win you over and get positive attention. Once she does she will be the one who acts indifferent.

missy52

19 d
Wow. That was accurate.
DizzyDesii

19 d
So true. Gosh i hate when people do that 🤣
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii imagine being a guy in a dating situation approaching a woman we are attracted to.
Show All Show Less
DizzyDesii

19 d
Men and women do jt
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii yes it’s human psychology to be attracted to scarcity and the whole “hard to get” game.

But I can tell you right now women are much attracted to challenge then vice versa. That only goes so far with guys (and women are naturally good at being indirect).

I’m only saying this because I’ve been in his position before. Either I wasn’t interested or I had the self control to be hands off and bit mysterious (which I’m not naturally good at it). The fact that it worked just disgusted me.

“It is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.”

- Corey Wayne
guesswhoseback

19 d
But I admit that the decent thing for him to do is be forthcoming. Just politely say “hey I think you are a cool girl but just to be respectful I got to be honest. I’m not interested”. Leave at that and only that and do NOT ask to be “friends”.
DizzyDesii

19 d
I may be indirect at times, but i dont find a challenge appealing. I mean i used to like to fix broken people but aside from that, i dont find “mysteriousness” attractive. And if he can't be clear about his feelings, im on to the next. I dont have time for HS games
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii I would like to believe you are being candid. But romantic attraction and hormones can make men and women act stereotypical. Two years ago I met a grown ass 40 year old woman who was still like this.

Maybe you are in the minority? I would like to think. But every girl I’ve met in my life who says she doesn’t “like games” has disappointed me with gross hypocrisy.

It takes an incredible amount of self discipline to control romantic emotions for both men and especially women. Most people aren’t born with it.
DizzyDesii

19 d
Believe me, it took several mistakes to get to this point of self control haha
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii and I remember having a girl I briefly dating back in my late 20s (she was 24) tell me the exact same thing. Then she did one of the most shittiest most disrespectful things possible 2 months later.
DizzyDesii

19 d
It happens but you won't know until you try. Im a risk taker but will cut off someone soon as they cross me
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii well as man it’s my job to “take risks” whether I like it or not. The alternative is isolation. Unless we are in the 1% the vast majority of the time we do the approaching. Not because most of like it but because most of us have to. It’s just how it is and it sucks but we have to accept it. All I want is for women to RESPECT that. That doesn’t mean they can’t reject guys (as they should and quickly if they aren’t interested.).

However I have a hard time taking what women say at face value. I hear one thing and see the exact opposite.
DizzyDesii

19 d
And i respect that. When thats all youve experienced, its kinda all you have to live on. But i like to have hope that someone is different from the majority. Just never lose faith
guesswhoseback

19 d
@DizzyDesii I’ve only met one person like this before in my life but even she did something egregious when I completely expected her not to. Took me a long time to finally get over it. I also have did some deeper examination of my own behavior. Not to say what she did was justified but there things I don’t that trigger this bs in women.

Anyway it was nice chatting with you as well. Just remember to take a step when you feel your head getting wrapped up in things. Peace.
guesswhoseback

19 d
*do that

Answer 7

missy52

Wow. That was accurate.

Answer 8

DizzyDesii

So true. Gosh i hate when people do that 🤣

Answer 9

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii imagine being a guy in a dating situation approaching a woman we are attracted to.

Answer 10

DizzyDesii

Men and women do jt

Answer 11

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii yes it’s human psychology to be attracted to scarcity and the whole “hard to get” game.

But I can tell you right now women are much attracted to challenge then vice versa. That only goes so far with guys (and women are naturally good at being indirect).

I’m only saying this because I’ve been in his position before. Either I wasn’t interested or I had the self control to be hands off and bit mysterious (which I’m not naturally good at it). The fact that it worked just disgusted me.

“It is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.”

- Corey Wayne

Answer 12

guesswhoseback

But I admit that the decent thing for him to do is be forthcoming. Just politely say “hey I think you are a cool girl but just to be respectful I got to be honest. I’m not interested”. Leave at that and only that and do NOT ask to be “friends”.

Answer 13

DizzyDesii

I may be indirect at times, but i dont find a challenge appealing. I mean i used to like to fix broken people but aside from that, i dont find “mysteriousness” attractive. And if he can't be clear about his feelings, im on to the next. I dont have time for HS games

Answer 14

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii I would like to believe you are being candid. But romantic attraction and hormones can make men and women act stereotypical. Two years ago I met a grown ass 40 year old woman who was still like this.

Maybe you are in the minority? I would like to think. But every girl I’ve met in my life who says she doesn’t “like games” has disappointed me with gross hypocrisy.

It takes an incredible amount of self discipline to control romantic emotions for both men and especially women. Most people aren’t born with it.

Answer 15

DizzyDesii

Believe me, it took several mistakes to get to this point of self control haha

Answer 16

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii and I remember having a girl I briefly dating back in my late 20s (she was 24) tell me the exact same thing. Then she did one of the most shittiest most disrespectful things possible 2 months later.

Answer 17

DizzyDesii

It happens but you won't know until you try. Im a risk taker but will cut off someone soon as they cross me

Answer 18

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii well as man it’s my job to “take risks” whether I like it or not. The alternative is isolation. Unless we are in the 1% the vast majority of the time we do the approaching. Not because most of like it but because most of us have to. It’s just how it is and it sucks but we have to accept it. All I want is for women to RESPECT that. That doesn’t mean they can’t reject guys (as they should and quickly if they aren’t interested.).

However I have a hard time taking what women say at face value. I hear one thing and see the exact opposite.

Answer 19

DizzyDesii

And i respect that. When thats all youve experienced, its kinda all you have to live on. But i like to have hope that someone is different from the majority. Just never lose faith

Answer 20

guesswhoseback

@DizzyDesii I’ve only met one person like this before in my life but even she did something egregious when I completely expected her not to. Took me a long time to finally get over it. I also have did some deeper examination of my own behavior. Not to say what she did was justified but there things I don’t that trigger this bs in women.

Anyway it was nice chatting with you as well. Just remember to take a step when you feel your head getting wrapped up in things. Peace.

Answer 21

guesswhoseback

*do that

Answer 22

winterfox10 | 701 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

Because it’s an easy way to make the person look like a jerk

Jean-Marie_Céline

19 d
More or less what I thought... she wouldn't be the first to "put up" with me to feel better about herself
MissGeorgia

18 d
She makes you feel better about yourself too. Otherwise she wouldn't be on your mind.

At least she's not Trippin' over being ignored. She sounds pretty secure in herself. That's a plus.
Jean-Marie_Céline

17 d
@MissGeorgia confidence is good, but for me it can be annoying.
I'm willing to tolerate it for her work, but she's not getting close to me like that.
Show All Show Less
Jean-Marie_Céline

17 d
I mean I don't completely dislike her interest, but I can't consider it seriously.

Answer 23

Jean-Marie_Céline

More or less what I thought... she wouldn't be the first to "put up" with me to feel better about herself

Answer 24

MissGeorgia

She makes you feel better about yourself too. Otherwise she wouldn't be on your mind.

At least she's not Trippin' over being ignored. She sounds pretty secure in herself. That's a plus.

Answer 25

Jean-Marie_Céline

@MissGeorgia confidence is good, but for me it can be annoying.
I'm willing to tolerate it for her work, but she's not getting close to me like that.

Answer 26

Jean-Marie_Céline

I mean I don't completely dislike her interest, but I can't consider it seriously.

Answer 27

Poppykate | 154 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

Lol 😂 Maybe she thinks you are playing a game? Maybe she is trying to frustrate you with kindness! Lol 😂

Aakash_Hangargi

19 d
Slay them with kindness lol 😂
Poppykate

18 d
@Aakash_Hangargi of course! I love it when I am driving my car and if I get beeped, I will wave 👋 and smile at them like I know them.
Poppykate

18 d
A person’s face will go from angry to confused to worried within seconds... it’s funny to watch 😂.. particularly if it’s a guy behind the wheel! You can almost see him thinking 🤔... ‘oh no... do I know that person... was she at the Christmas office party? or is she my wife’s cousin? Lol 😂
Show All Show Less
Aakash_Hangargi

18 d
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👍

Answer 28

Aakash_Hangargi

Slay them with kindness lol 😂

Answer 29

Poppykate

@Aakash_Hangargi of course! I love it when I am driving my car and if I get beeped, I will wave 👋 and smile at them like I know them.

Answer 30

Poppykate

A person’s face will go from angry to confused to worried within seconds... it’s funny to watch 😂.. particularly if it’s a guy behind the wheel! You can almost see him thinking 🤔... ‘oh no... do I know that person... was she at the Christmas office party? or is she my wife’s cousin? Lol 😂

Answer 31

Aakash_Hangargi

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👍

Answer 32

Anonymous

She probably doesn't let it bother her. I have patients that yell and go cray cray and it makes me die and laugh inside. Others become really upset and bothered. Everyone reacts differently, but I would much rather laugh about it.

Answer 33

Starrr01

Xper 5

Or you can just be a man and tell her that you are not interested

guesswhoseback

19 d
“Just be a man” and tell her that? In my experience women don’t take rejection very well because they are not used to it.

He does need to be forthcoming but men don’t get same leeway to rudely reject women as vice versa. I’ve had women get angry, cry and yell out insults like “are you gay?” when I said I wasn’t interested. Personally I can’t remember the last time a man called a woman a lesbian for being rejected.
Troychapman10

19 d
To be fair there is room to bring nice rejection hurts so telling people upfront is not always the way to go
guesswhoseback

18 d
@Troychapman10 you got to be direct yet tactful. Say you are being honest out of respect. I had to do this a few times.

It rips the band aide off. Hurts but heals faster.

Answer 34

guesswhoseback

“Just be a man” and tell her that? In my experience women don’t take rejection very well because they are not used to it.

He does need to be forthcoming but men don’t get same leeway to rudely reject women as vice versa. I’ve had women get angry, cry and yell out insults like “are you gay?” when I said I wasn’t interested. Personally I can’t remember the last time a man called a woman a lesbian for being rejected.

Answer 35

Troychapman10

To be fair there is room to bring nice rejection hurts so telling people upfront is not always the way to go

Answer 36

guesswhoseback

@Troychapman10 you got to be direct yet tactful. Say you are being honest out of respect. I had to do this a few times.

It rips the band aide off. Hurts but heals faster.

Answer 37

Aakash_Hangargi

Yoda

Because she loves you and her Will is fucking strong 🙂

Answer 38

pleasestopthis | 120 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

Maybe the person doesn't realize you're really sarcastic and don't want anything to do with them

Answer 39

Walamagicc

Xper 5

If you’re not interested, why don’t you just tell her. You’re stringing her along answering only sometimes.

Answer 40

Anonymous

You are amusing in some way... you make her lol, that's why she doesn't budge on you.

Jean-Marie_Céline

19 d
So she's making fun of me?

Answer 41

Jean-Marie_Céline

So she's making fun of me?

Answer 42

psychoticanimallover

Xper 6

You are a true romantic, Jean. I envy you.

Jean-Marie_Céline

19 d
Thanks, I'm just like Celentano

Answer 43

Jean-Marie_Céline

Thanks, I'm just like Celentano

Answer 44

InferiorElegy

Xper 6

It's called being the bigger person but if you don't know them or see them on a regular basis, I'm not sure why anyone would go out of there way to be nice to someone not in their life.

Answer 45

msc545 | 106 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

The more you run, the more they chase.

Why some insist on being friendly even when you are indifferent and dismissive with them?

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