Is it normal that I don't love my older sister? (read description before answering)

Anonymous
I have realized that I do not love my sister, when my mom tells me to tell her I love her, I say it, but I don't mean it and I cringe on the inside.

Here are my reasons why: she is the kind of person who could do something nice for me one minute, like say she is going to buy me the book I wanted for my birthday, then later, if I have a chocolate chip cookie(this is an example) and I don't want to give her a bite or something this is the kind of conversation we'll have:

Sis: oh wow can I have a bite?

Me: sorry, no, this is the first thing I've had to eat all day.

Sis: *evil b***** smile* are you sure?

me: yeah, you know I share most of the time but not today.

Sis: *b***** voice* okay. Angelic/b***** voice Oh by the way you can say goodbye to that book you wanted.

that kind of stuff happens all the time.

Then when we were younger, this is one of the incidents that happened among others like it:(she was 12, I was about 10)

She was babysitting me, and I didn't want to go to bed, we fought, and she basically pushed me down the stairs. I had bruises. I had lots of bruises because of her when I was little.

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another thing, she has never been in the "popular group at school"

until high school, and I guess she's happy about that, but it's not enough.

me, I don't like that group in my grade, so I'm friends with what I call, people in the middle. she has called my friends losers, asked why do I hang out with such weird people etc...

also, now that she's older she goes out a lot practically every night this summer, and I don't , cause its just not me. We are very different, and don't share many interests, she has often called me weird,loser,freak,lone,lazy,sloth etc. and also fat(which is bad cause I might be developing food issues)

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also, she seems to have a lot OF MOOD SWINGS!

she can be nice one second then be a psycho the next(giving my mom bruises, brutalizing me if I don't want to have sister time and share what's going on with me. not letting me leave before my step mom comes in the room when I'm crying cause I don't like to let people see me cry).

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Also, there are times when she looks at me weirdly,(like when adults we meet through my dad say I'm pretty first and sometimes not to her at all.)-not being vain-is she jealous or something?

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since I was 7 years old I have been counting down the years till she leaves for university, and its finally happening this September.:)

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remember, we are very different, I'm calm to her violent personality.

she calls me stupid cause I suck at math and she's going to a math university

so lastly does anyone know w** is wrong with her? and does is anyone in a familiar situation?

Updates:
+1 y
too be fair, this kind of stuff mostly runs on my dads side of my family, and my grandpa that I never knew on my mom's side was violent too.
Is it normal that I don't love my older sister? (read description before answering)
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