I guess he's not really avoiding me, he's just not contacting me (and I'm tired of being the one to do the work). I'm trying to figure out if this is him loosing interest, or if something else is going on. A few months ago he was telling me how much I impressed him, supporting my accomplishments, and that we should keep talking, then absolutely nothing. I've pulled back because I figure if he wants to talk, he knows how to reach me.
Anyone who has a damaged ego or pride would shift their behavior. that is not a man thing. its human. & I don't know what yo mean by avoid emotional efforts,but not understanding your emotion & the people you are in contact with, leaves you at a disadvantage as far as control goes... because you can be easily manipulated.When a 3 year old covers their eyes & says ' I don't see you'-Even tho they believe, them not seeing you disappear. In reality, it only makes what you do is , unseen by them.
@toulouseBehavior shifting is a social mechanic 'we humans' use in order to 'fit in.' using that as an example, those that have the ability to make their own decisions yet conform to the social environment put themselves at a disadvantage, not the people that distance themselves from their social groups. They can't easily be manipulated. And emotional efforts would be showing emotions in a consistent manor. Crying, affection, nurturing others etc.
how do you know you don't do that. guys say they hate emotions, so how could you possibly know what you do in regards to them. & where do you get the idea from-- if you don't do it.
im sorry that I struck a nerve. Lots of guys say what he said though. And I have when I was younger and a jerk. It allows a guy to make an excuse for why they have ignored a girl, makes a girl feel good because he is saying he likes her, and letting her know that he isn't really up for commitment right now. Its a slice of guy-genius that many of us have used. its a WIN-WIN-WIN as far as we are concerned. I don't mean to be mean or anything! sorry if it came out that way!
what nerve. I asked you a question. & I don't think you answered it. you must have struck your own nerve.you can not 'run from emotion, & understand it at the same time. if you have to use this as an excuse for not talking to a girl, & you have to lie to her--you are running from the truth.. from how you actually feel. & now you want to say you are a genius, but you don't know where your idea came from.
Wow you are really mad. lol. okay so I didn't think I needed to spell it out. He DOESNT feel that way. He isn't scared of his feelings for you. He probably doesn't even like you but he didn't want to hurt your feelings. Its not actually about running from emotion because that's not what's happening. That's just what he is saying. he is running from you.
Wow, OK, to Corey and toulouse, I didn't mean to spark a heated debate with my question! And this guy didn't say anything to me, I just know him well enough to know he was badly hurt ... enough to break off an engagement. He's just stopped initiating contact, but nothing negative happened.
lol that got silly quick.
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