I always mess up each time I really like a guy!

Hey, I have a huge problem... I don't usually have any problems with guys, but each time I meet one that I REALLY like, I tend to mess up...

I met this one guy I really like online, and he actually really likes me too, but we live far so we can only communicate online, until next year when I attend a school that happens to be near where he lives.

Everything was going fine until I asked him to call me sometime. Twice he said he would, and then he never did. Then I didn't hear from him for 2 months. Meanwhile I send him probably a total of seven messages, some of me telling him if he wasn't interested anymore to just tell me straight up, and then others apologizing etc. Was kind of all over the place. Eventually he started coming back on again, and he spilled his heart to me saying how he liked me so much he was afraid to fall too hard, specially because of the distance. He promised not to run again, and said that he would come online every so often to keep in touch.

My big mistake... He sent me a message simply replying to a message I had sent him about his favorite band. Nothing else and that's it. So I sent him a reply saying "is that the message you said you would send me?..boring ;p" I meant it half in a teasing manner but it could have been miss interpreted, I don't know... After that I sent him the following :" k look, just call me sometime (phone number) cause to be honest I'm starting to doubt that you are who you say you are, cause yes I do like you very much, but your lack of initiative to get to know me for real is making me loose interest. Too many guys love to talk but show no action, I'm starting to think maybe your like that. If long distance is an issue send me your number and tell me when to call. Its just a phone call, its not really that big of a deal, just chill I'm really easy to talk to. We are all responsible for shaping our own lives, whether you will get to know me better or not is all in your hands. I wouldn't do or say anything to hurt you, I'm not mean. Peace!"

When I read over the message after sending it, I realized how horrible it was! He had already told me he wasn't running anymore and I sent him a message as though nothing had changed... I tried to cover up by sending more messages...oops...I told him that I hope he didn't get me wrong, and that even if he didn't call I would still enjoy chatting with him...Than another message explaining that my heart is impatient but my mind has all the patience in the world and that I was sorry about the first message...And that I need to shut up and that my head was telling me I probably scared him off again...Then I added inn that I would be gone for the weekend and that I wished him a great weekend and reminded him how special he was to me etc.

I am so embarrassed, I wish I could take back that message I sent because I might have ruined everything now... It's so hard not to go crazy when you really like someone you can't be with. What do you think? Please help! I'm worried
I always mess up each time I really like a guy!
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