If women want equality, then why do you expect men to pay and to approach you?

Question

If women want equality, then why do you expect men to pay and to approach you?

Anonymous

Do you expect your girlfriends to pay just because they invited you out to a movie?

Do you expect your other friends to pay for your way just because they invited you?

So then its only because he has a p****?

How is that fair?

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Most Helpful Girls

selfishstars | 553 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Master

+1 y

I prefer to share in the costs of dating. I prefer to go dutch and always come prepared to pay my own way. Sometimes a guy will insist on paying for both of us, but then I'll insist on paying for both of us on the next date. If we're going on a "two-part" date (i.e. dinner and a movie), then sometimes one of us will pay for the first part, and the other will pay for the second. If it's a guy I've been seeing for awhile, we usually end up taking turns paying for dates.

In terms of approach/asking out, my view on it is that if you're interested in someone, approach them/ask them out, regardless of your gender. I don't see it as the guys' role. If a guy is interested in me, then yeah, I'd like him to approach me/ask me out, but I do the same if I'm interested in a guy.

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pineappleshortcare | 745 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Master

+1 y

I can only speak for myself, of course.

I would prefer to split and also to keep it low key (a few drinks or coffee and chatting). The only thing that sucks is that the asker controls the venue, so you end up paying for stuff you don't like to do a lot of times. As for friends, I will offer to pay if I know they're broke or we're doing something I know they don't like much and I just want a companion.

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Most Helpful Guys

amameninas
Yoda

+1 y

They do not want it to be fair. They want to be advantaged. In they want what b*tches have always wanted: Control with men paying the bills. We created these monsters by deferring to their feminist politics bribed with easy p*ssy. They want all the rights of men and all the privileges of traditional women and so long as we are willing to swallow the political load to indulge our designed in addiction to p*ssy, we get what we deserve. Not me.

Here's my view. If you need to, take the easy sex and nod appeasingly through the politics until the sex gets old. Do not marry them and for G0d's sake, don't let them raise children. When you are ready to settle down, meet and import a Phillipine or Thai, who love men, accept traditional roles and are family centered. Cost altogether? $10.000 or so. Far cheaper than a divorce and you get happily ever after.

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happyhappy1983
Xper 3

+1 y

I agree , everything in life has its positives along with the negatives. A lot of feminists have argued this , but in the long run not wanting the negatives shows weakness. An example of this I have to lift 100 lbs since I'm a man to get this job, but you only lift 40 lbs since your a female for the same position. I like to think of it as a child wanting to be an adult so he could have privileges of staying out late at night, go any where you want when you want , but not wanting to work 8-12 hours days to pay your bills.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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pr3ttybr0wn
Influencer

+1 y

if he wants to f*** me he has to play by my rules. simple as that.

#letthehatebegin

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  So if he DOESNT want to f*** you, then he doesn't have to pay.
  
  So its an exchange money for sex?
  
  Are you a prostitute?
- pr3ttybr0wn
  
  +1 y
  why do you youcare? are you dating me? I will always prefer gentlemen and chivalrous behavior over a guy who is so consumed with everything being completely equal. I like the gender role playing in relationships, sue me. that has no correlation with equality in the workforce because I'm not dating my employers or co-workers. 2 totally different things. if everything is equal then men like you should want to marry sluts and not care if the girl farts, burps or doesn't shave her legs either.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I don't date whores.
  
  But I like how you can pick and choose when and where you want equality.
  
  Equality in the boardroom INEQUALITY in the bedroom.
  
  If you are a prostitute, fine. just admit it and be honest.
  
  I know, how would you like it if your boss gave all the men raises in the company except the women.
  
  But then treated all women like goddesses who didn't work for him.
  
  Hes picking and choosing too.
  
  SO its fair.
- Show All Show Less
- pr3ttybr0wn
  
  +1 y
  are you a whore? would you have sex with multiple pretty women if you were presented with the opportunities? if so, you are a whore too and you're being hypocritical by not dating whores. most women have no problem dating male whores, why aren't men wrong for not wanting to date female whores? trying to present workplace discrimination as being equal with having personal preferences in your dating life is ridiculous and just shows how far you will go to prove your non-existent point.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  A whore is not defined by how many women/men they sleep with. its doing it for the money and not for the sex.
  
  And lets make this clear, a male whore is a gigolo, and there is a perfectly good reason why that is not looked at as a bad thing. its not a double standard at all.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  People value other people who attain things that are hard to get. Women play hard to get. Sex is HARD to get, for a man.
  
  For a woman all she has to do is stand in the middle of a club full of men with a blindfold on and wait. The next morning she's going to wake up with her butt bleeding.
  
  In general, a man has to be funny, tall, ambitious, confident, and have nice shoes.
  
  Oh and according to you, pay her to sleep with him.
  
  And THATS why its not a double standard.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Youre the one who brought up the comparison between workplace and dating.
  
  But in any case its still picking and choosing equality where and when you decide its OK to be equal.
  
  So just because a person walks into a building and is given the title of "employee" suddenly equality is important.
  
  Picking and choosing when and where you want equality is still ridiculous.
  
  Are you also in favor of "separate but equal?"
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Separate but equal is the PERFECT example of picking and choosing where and when you want equality.
  
  Look how good that worked out.
- pr3ttybr0wn
  
  +1 y
  if you are frustrated with having to pay for dates and approach women, either stop dating women, or date women who have the same mindset you do. they are out there. you're not going to have much luck trying to compare social issues with personal dating standards. using your "logic", you should be willing to date men AND women in the name of equality. if it's wrong for a workplace to not hire both genders, then why don't you date both genders and truly prove your equality?
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  My problem is that women have a problem spouting that they have a problem with equality.
  
  and then simultaneously want inequality in dating.
  
  i have a problem with their double standard.
  
  My god, it would suck to be a lesbian, both of you would be pissed off that neither one of you wanted to pay.
  
  Every partner they went out with would be labeled as "cheap".
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  The moment women are willing to have inequality in the workplace, and stop complaining about it, and men are treated better (and they are not). And if they are fine with it, then ill be fine with the inequality of dating.
  
  You can't have it both ways.
- Skullsmasher
  
  +1 y
  And if you want to get HIM into bed, you have to play by HIS rules.
  
  If you have a problem with that, then you're a hypocrite.
  
  Society needs to stop treating sex from women as though it's a "grand prize" or a "gift." It's not.
  
  And get over yourself.
goflipaburger | 268 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Guru

+1 y

I don't expect either :p and I agree, it's not fair. That's why I approach the guys I want and I pay for myself (and I pay for him on special occasions)

I think the women who do want guys to do that traditional stuff aren't the ones begging for equality. Don't get us confused :p

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  so you're not afraid of what other women may or may not think if you walk up to some guy?
  
  Most women don't have those kind of balls.
- goflipaburger
  
  +1 y
  Nope, I don't care. I'm not going to waste my life away just waiting just to please others. I do what suites me best in all directions; so far my method has a high success rate so I'll just keep it at that.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  that's a good attitude to have.
peace-love-couture
Yoda

+1 y

If I answer this question, I'll get bashed. There is no correct answer other than "I love gentleman"

I'm not responding to any of your rants or boohooing comments, so don't bother, that goes for YOU QA and any other whiny dude on here

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  What does the man get out of it? I'm not expecting the man get sex. I'm merely suggesting that there's obviously an imbalance here.
  
  If he pays and she pays next time, then it would be balanced.
  
  but that's not the case.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Who says it's not the case?
saphirasilverwings
Xper 5

+1 y

I certainly do not expect him to pay just because he has a penis.In my relationship I try very hard to keep things balanced and frequently I pay for myself or for both of us.

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- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I wouldn't complain if a guy offered to pay, especially on a first date. I'll admit it feels nice to be pampered- why wouldn't it? But I fully understand that it isn't necessarily fair to the guy, and I would never expect it to happen on every date. On the grander scheme I definitely want it to be equal. If he pays for the first date, I'll pay for the second one.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Well isn't it interesting how most women hate to be constantly complimented and told that they are pretty and loved on the first date. However, they never complain when the "pampering" comes in the form of money.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I wasn't even faintly aware that girls hated to be complimented. Of course too much is too much, but that's the case with anything.
  
  The way I feel about it, there is something nice about it when a guy pays on the first date (if he was the one to do the asking). I guess it comes out of tradition. It seems like a nice gesture. BUT, I would want to pay on the second date. I don't want a guy to spend more money on me than I spend on him.
- Show All Show Less
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I'd like to clarify again that I do not EXPECT guys to pay for me nor do I WANT them to pay more than half the time. I'm just trying to say that everyone likes it when other people do nice things for them- I like it when my boyfriend does nice things for me, and he likes it when I do nice things for them. So I think it's a sweet gesture when a guys is WILLING to pay for the first date. Partly because it bothers me a little when guys get all up in arms and act like women are all hypocritical
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  monsters. It's refreshing when a guy isn't all freaked out over it- because I DO want to pay for my share. I know that was a very convoluted explanation and it may not have made total sense. But ultimately I do want equality in terms of paying.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Ok since women want money and men want sex, wouldn't it be "fair" that women at least initiate sex more than half the time? of course that's too much to ask for.
  
  You expect men to pay more than half the time but women won't do anything in a relationship more than half the time. I can't think of anything that they do.
  
  If you do want him to pay more than half the time and you also say that you want equality in terms of paying, you do realize that its a contradiction.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I don't expect men to pay more than half the time, and I never said I did. I expect them to pay half the time, and I think it's a sweet gesture if the first date is one of the dates that they pay for. That's all.
  
  I initiate sex with my boyfriend all the time. I think that's pretty equal between us too.
  
  I never said I wanted him to pay more than half the time, so I haven't contradicted myself. I don't know how you got the idea that I want him to pay more than half the time.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Also... I do not "want money" and my boyfriend does not "want sex". We both want sex and we both want to spend time with each other and we both want to occasionally go to a restaurant or a museum. Neither of us is swimming in money, and neither of us expects the other to spend a fortune on dates. I can't say we keep exact track of who pays for what, and I think that's okay. We try to keep things balanced and we do what works and if someone doesn't have money, maybe the other will pay out of the
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  goodness of their heart because they really want to do such and such, or maybe we'll decide to do something less expensive. We are both happy and respect each other and neither of us is in it for the elegant dates OR the sex. We are in it because we care about each other and have fun together.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  well you sound like you're living in a perfect relationship.
  
  Im willing to bet though its not as great as you say or think.
  
  But even if it is that great, most relationships the men want sex and the women wants money.
  
  And if the woman wants money and gets it from the man more than half of the time, then wouldn't it be fair to the man if the woman initiates sex more than half the time?
  
  unfortunately that's not how it works
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Of course my relationship isn't perfect. But him wanting sex and me wanting money is not one of the problems we have. If my boyfriend only wanted sex from me, I would have broken up with him a long time ago, and he can probably say the same about me and money. Every relationship has problems, but that doesn't mean every relationship has to be superficial and idiotic.
  
  You're very wrong if you think women don't want sex. And I'm not going to college just so some guy can support me later on.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Everything is relative. Relative to men, women HATE sex. (in general)
  
  Comparatively speaking.
  
  And I'm not saying that its not OK for a woman to want to have a man support him, and I'm not saying that its not OK for a man to want sex all the time.
  
  The problem is when one or both are not getting what they want.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I wouldn't be so sure about that.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  When a man compliments a woman and she takes it wrong (most of them do)
  
  -really attractive ones who get compliments all the time- then they complain about that and then NEVER complain that a man spends too much money.
  
  Then what are men supposed to think?
  
  OF course were going to think that money is all she wants.
  
  She doesn't seem to like sex (because the man wants sex right off the bat, and she doesn't)
  
  No sex, no affection, no compliments, but moneys fine.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Ok you think women like sex as much as men?
  
  Whens the last time you heard this "oh I'm sorry angelina jolie its 3 am and you're calling me NOW for sex? that's it this is SOOOO over! click!"
  
  And whens the last time you heard a guy go "yeah, I'm having a fat day so I don't feel sexy."
  
  and
  
  "i didn't shave my beard today cause I don't plan on having sex."
  
  and
  
  "im not going to have sex with this woman cause I want her to like me."
  
  I can go all day with this sh*t.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  oh and I like this one "so sally did you sleep with him?"
  
  "yeah it just sort of happend." (playing it off as she's a VICTIM of the sex)
  
  VS.
  
  "Yeah dude I scored." (playing it off as he won something)
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Everyone is different. I don't think you can make generalizations and claim that women would rather have money than sex. I get the feeling that your own bad experiences have made you prejudiced against women. I don't pretend to speak for all females, but I love sex, don't care about money (I mean, obviously I need it for groceries, but that's a whole other topic), and it's really frustrating to me when men make these accusations. Of course there are times when I don't want sex- hello,
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  my genitals have blood pouring out of them a quarter of the time- but that doesn't mean I want sex less than my boyfriend in general. And I would never feel comfortable with my boyfriend spending more money on me than I do on him. And I think it's about time you took my word for it. It's my life, after all. I think I know a little bit more about it than you do.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  its easy to make these accusations when a womans actions speak so loudly you can hear a word they say.
  
  Women also are notorious for saying one thing and meaning another.
  
  "I really want a nice guy!" is just one of many examples. And yet she's never dated one, and when she finally meets one she gets super turned off/ bored and goes back to a**holes.
  
  And then keeps telling everyone again how she wants a nice guy.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  The bottom line is women make excuses NOT to have sex. Men make excuses TO have sex.
  
  The mere fact that most men will have sex with a tree stump (providing there was a hole in it) should tell you something.
  
  Most women would not.
  
  I guarentee you if a man was bleeding Every single day, he's still going to have the drive to wnat to have sex.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  And I can use science too.
  
  Isnt it odd that women have very little testosterone in their bodies. And science actually uses testosterone to increase a womans libido/ sex drive?
  
  And sadly the thinner you are the less testosterone you produce, which is another reason why fat women have more sex than thinner women.
  
  Bottom line testosterone creates sex drive (desire/want of sex)
  
  And chemically speaking men have been proven to have a sh*tload more.
  
  a SHITLOAD.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I am dating an extremely nice guy, and I couldn't be happier.
  
  Really? I've seen lots of trees with holes in them. Somehow I've never seen a guy having sex with one. Huh.
  
  Admit it, this is a rant, not a question. You clearly couldn't care less what anyone says here- accept, oh look, the person who happened to agree with your predisposed idea. And he is also a guy who is speaking for women and claiming they want this and that. Funny how that goes.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  obviously I was exagerrating, just like I'm going to now.
  
  You see tons of men having sex with fat women and women they find disgusting. So they might as well be called tree stumps with holes.
  
  Most women won't have sex with a man they are not at least attracted to.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Yes, men have more testosterone. But that doesn't stop plenty of women from initiating sex all the time.
  
  There are women who want to have sex once a month and women who want to have sex five times a day. You cannot say that ALL women have lower sex drives than ALL men. Not with scientific support anyway.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I've never heard of men having sex with women they are not "at least attracted to". Wouldn't that cause a few mechanical problems?
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I just proved it.
  
  Testosterone is the very CAUSE of sex drive, i.e. the thing that makes someone even WANT to have sex in the first place. If a man has a sh*tload more of it then a woman, then logic says they want it more.
  
  Sure a woman can have sex a billion times a day, even more than you're average guy. But I'm going to tell you the times that they did it they are doing it when they didn't really "want" to.
  
  I don't know about you, but I LOVE doing sh*t that I don't want doing.
  
  :/
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  No, men can have sex at a drop of a hat. Just because a guy has a boner, doesn't mean he's turned on specifically to that woman.
  
  We wake up with boners all the time, and there's not a woman in front of us, nor are we even thinking about sex at that exact moment.
  
  But we will be thinking about it 5 minutes later.
  
  Oh and science says men think about sex by far more frequently than women.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  most men can get "aroused" with the idea of having sex with a women, and not any "particular" woman.
  
  Unlike a woman who is actually aroused by the particulars in a man.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I could have sex three times a day and want to. I'm sure there are some guys out there who couldn't say that. Just because testosterone is necessary for a sex drive, that doesn't mean the sex drive is necessarily proportional to the amount of testosterone. You're going to have to provide actual sources and data if you want me to believe that.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  And if you can, awesome. But there's still no way to claim that it applies to every single woman.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  google that yourself. I'm not your dog.
  
  but here's one of many that are out there.
  
  "from Mary M. Gallenberg, M.D.
  
  Research shows that the hormone testosterone does effectively boost sex drive as well as remedy other sexual problems in women"
  
  In other words the MORE testosterone you have, the higher drive or (boost) in drive you will have.
  
  IT doesn't suggest that those women have ZERO testosterone.
  
  No woman on earth has ZERO. unless she's dead or seriously sick.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  "Most men produce 6-8 mg of the male hormone testosterone (an androgen) per day, compared to most women who produce 0.5 mg daily. "
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  im sure that there are women out there that have more testosterone than the majority of men.
  
  Those are called lesbians or women with hairy chests and large muscles.
  
  ANd I wouldn't want to date those rare women anyways. Gross.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I did, in fact. And none of that- or anything I found- claims that sex drive is DIRECTLY PROPORTIONAL to the amount of testosterone. Saying that testosterone boosts sex drives is not the same thing.
  
  But regardless, I like sex and I have never seen any indication that I like it LESS than my boyfriend does. Whether other women feel the same I can't say- and you don't seem to care anyhow. If you're determined that women are all superficial hypocrites, fine. Stick to those nice trees with holes.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  You didn't look hard enough.
  
  "For argument's sake, let's suppose that for every smidgen of a decline in testosterone, there was a proportional decline in sexual drive, energy, and libido, while for every smidgen of a rise, there was an increase. If that were the case, researchers should be able to select a group of normal, healthy guys for a study, measure their testosterone levels, and show that the men with the higher testosterone levels are more libidinous, sexually active."
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  "Indeed, some studies have suggested such a correlation"
  
  "Saying that testosterone boosts sex drives is not the same thing."
  
  Sure it is when you consider that women who have low Testosterone have low sex drive, and women who get it "boosted" with more testosterone, it increases.
  
  Its directly related, and most studies show this.
  
  link
  
  The ones that say that its not?
  
  All they say is "oh we don't know if its directly related, BUT it does effect it."
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  So EVEN the ones that disagree with the tons of studies that prove that testosterone is the cause of sex drive and libido in both men and women, the WORST ones of that, even THEY still admit that it effects it. And they can't prove that its not a direct correlation.
  
  They basically go, duh? we don't know, but we don't think its that.
  
  Even though the majority of the studies simply prove the direct correlation.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  as it says here: ". In terms of libido, testosterone for women serves to heighten sexual response and orgasms. As a result, low testosterone causes a loss of libido."
  
  So low testosterone= low libido
  
  High testosterone= High libido
  
  Those are the facts.
  
  To deny that its not "pro rated" is provably untrue and obviously false.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  My last comment still stands.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Your last comment is proven wrong by my last comment.
  
  Only someone brain dead can't see that.
  
  You're making the argument "correlation does not equal causation". Which in this particular case its not a correlation. its DIRECT causation.
  
  Even the small MINORITY of people who can't prove that its not a causation, STILL admit that having low testosterone is the CAUSE of having no sex drive.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Follow this:
  
  Its like saying you can't prove to me that he's dead because he shot himself in the face.
  
  And I'm telling you there's a gun in his hand, there's a letter saying "im going to shoot myself in the face!"
  
  and there's a bullet hole in his forehead, and there's 20 witnesses that saw him do it.
  
  And there's a video of him doing it to himself.
  
  And you're telling me, "well someone else could have shot him, and those peopel could be lying."
  
  Sure, but then you'd be an idiot to think that.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  The bottom line is this, I can tell you right now there is a guy who has "proven" that 1+1 does NOT equal 2. AND he has mathematical formulas to PROVE it.
  
  However, there are misleading formulas and numbers in his "proof" so much so that many other mathemeticians have proven him a fraud.
  
  But did you really need those other mathemeticians to tell you that he's full of sh*t?
  
  NO.
  
  AND I don't need 1 or 2 minority people who merely THEORIZE that testosterone is not the cause of sexual libido.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  "But regardless, I like sex and I have never seen any indication that I like it LESS than my boyfriend does. Whether other women feel the same I can't say- and you don't seem to care anyhow. If you're determined that women are all superficial hypocrites, fine. Stick to those nice trees with holes."
  
  It's not scientifically possible to prove any of that wrong.
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  Sure there is, there are pleasure centers of the brain that visually show a person "likes" or dislikes something.
  
  And if you compared that to your boyfriends brain scan then you could theoretically do that.
  
  Saying that you don't see any indication that you like sex LESS than your boyfriend, isn't a good argument.
  
  I know plenty of couples where the guy almost hates sex from the girl he's dating. Why? because she's fat, ugly, and gross.
  
  Why is he with her? because he's got low self esteem.
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  Whatever. I'm happy with how things are in my life right now.
RedheadGoddess
Xper 6

+1 y

I don't expect my boyfriend or dates to pay for sh*t. If they offer then I accept, but sometimes I don't even accept. I like paying for myself.

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- Asker
  
  +1 y
  You know what sucks though? sometimes men get weired out if a woman pays.
  
  Its like they feel that its not a real "date" . they take it as a sign that she must not really like him if she's willing to pay.
  
  I think the biggest problem isn't the fact that the man pays, its more that women EXPECT a man to pay.
  
  Its like so expected that its no longer even looked at as a "good gesture"
- saphirasilverwings
  
  +1 y
  I don't think so. That's the point I was trying to make below. I don't expect it, but I do see it as a sweet gesture if it happens (some of the time).
  
  Now you think men will take it as rejection if a woman pays for herself? Well what the heck are we supposed to do with this situation?
Klaatu51
Master

+1 y

both must pay their own... that's the correct way

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G_GTom | 118 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Yoda

+1 y

Because women want equality when it benefits them.

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ihatetakingcharge | 189 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Xper 7

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women want to have the veto power

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avella_Dec Xper 3 · Accepted Answer

Whew! That's a lot of questions. I don't think all women want equality as such, some just want to be appreciated. I will approach a guy if I think he is the type of guy I am interested in and would not be offended by a girl approaching him. I am self-sufficient. And yes, If my girlfriend invites me to a movie, I do expect her to pay unless stating otherwise. Just as if I would invite one of my daughter's friends, I would pay unless I stated otherwise. His penis has nothing to do with it, except that he at least has the right parts for me to be attracted to him. ;) How is that fair? Everything is so mixed up these days... I think that is why it is important to communicate together what you both expect from a relationship. Fair is compromise. Some men want to take care of their women and statistically, on average, men still make more then women and also women can't take care of young children and do everything else. That is just fact.

If women want equality, then why do you expect men to pay and to approach you?

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