I asked her out in the past?

Question

I asked her out in the past?

Xper 2

First of all hello everyone.Some background information first on my case. I have had a crush on a certain girl for almost three years now and I had told her that I did almost three years ago as well but she was already taken at the time. I am not sure if she is single or not now but anyway we sometimes glance at each other in class and hold a brief stare. We really don't have conversations or anything of the matter but we work on projects along with another person together but there is not much association for a project is still work. I've noticed that ever time I talk to her and I finish what I am saying she quickly starts texting on her cellular telephone as if she is informing someone of something. She does this also after we have a brief stare. I have a tendency to become nervous and pull away from the stare even though I love every moment of it. Additionally in the hallways she seems to be reserved when greeting me when compared to other people she greets. I am not really sure what to make this behavior in general. I am not sure if she is trying to tell me something, if she is just this way naturally, if she is uncomfortable because I asked her out in the past, or if she is trying to tell me something is it that she is interested or is she showing me that she is not interested.

I have to add that the reason I have never decided to ask her out again or ask her anything to do with feelings is that I am afraid that I am going to make her feel uncomfortable since I have asked her in the past and that I will destroy the mere association we have now. All in all I just find asking her out again without any knowledge of her having interest to be too uncomfortable for her. Sometimes she teases me but it isn't often that she does but I always enjoy it when she does. Sorry for the lack of organization throughout these details but I am having trouble explaining myself clearly. I have never had a a girlfriend either so I don't think she is trying to see whether I am single or not.

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Anonymous

+1 y

NEVER read into a stare. She could be like, 'wtf are you looking at'. No offence but it doesn't sound like she likes you, it sounds like she might be the tiniest bit creeped out by you, the fact that she is so reserved could mean she's trying to let you know she's not interested in you, if she acted excited to see you you'd probably think she liked you as well.

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Most Helpful Guy

Anonymous

+1 y

I didn't read all of that because it was too long. However, I can tell you that if you want to get with this girl, you need to attract her FIRST. Before you do anything like try to convince her what a nice, caring, great boyfriend you'd make, you must FIRST get her attracted enough to you to be interested in you sexually and to at least consider having sex with you.

So how do you do that? Well, you're going to have to start talking to her. You're going to have to come off as fun, interesing and light hearted. You need to be teasing and able to make her laugh. THEN you can ask her out again. Not before.

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- lucyskala
  
  +1 y
  honestly, I reckon the best way to get her interested in you at this point, (considering having read the whole question..) is to date someone else for a while.
- Opinion Owner
  
  +1 y
  That's always a good way. It does two things. First it demonstrates that you have qualities that SOMEONE finds attractive enough to date. It makes her think she may have missed something when considering and rejecting you before. Secondly, it'll make you less needy and eager to please her, which means you'll be more likely to throw off an air of confidence rather than weakness, which she'll pick up on. Doesn't guarantee success by any means, but definitley helps.

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ivorymusic Xper 4 · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry, but from what I've heard, she isn't playing hard to get. I think she may feel genuinely uncomfortable around you, despite the fact that you have been generous enough to back down from your offer. The glimpsing and glimpsing away act sounds like flirting, but taking out a cellphone and texting when you talk to her is a classic sign of "go away." One of the last things you want to do is try to stay in a conversation with somebody who clearly wants out.

Myself and my female friends have all had situation where boys we clearly were not interested in pursued us to the point of creeping us out and ignored all signs of lack of interest. You sound like a more caring person than that, so I would suggest that you take notice of her reservations and maybe back down and find somebody else to date.

Don't want to sound harsh, I'm just trying to help "de-code" messages that girls send. We don't always want to say explicitly when we're not interested for fear of being rude.

I asked her out in the past?

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