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How could I lose someone I never really had?

Yeah I know it's a tired topic and many of you won't care but anyone who doesn't mind reading through this and leaving anything I'd really appreciate it. It's officially been a week since I've heard from him..he completely played with my emotions for god knows how long, letting it get back to me on the lips of another..and I'm trying to forgive him and move past it cause he was the best guy friend I ever had..but he hasn't even attempted to contact me..and it's kinda ironic cause less then a week ago when I asked him to suggest some music he introduced me to this one link and now I can't stop listening to it..but he didn't leave anything at my door but heartbreak..and it hurts so much everyday trying to smile so no one worries..not having anyone to talk to ever about it..because he was the one I'd tell everything to..and now I find out that he really never cared in the first place..I really wanna text him..just to even get a hi back..but I don't wanna be that desperate girl who proves it doesn't matter what I'll just keep coming back..at least if he texts back first I'll know he cares a bit right..or maybe he just got bored..you know no one tells you that it hurts this much..to lose someone who seemed to be the closest to you in a world of painted faces..I just loved him..and I really thought that would be enough...I guess I don't really have a question so you don't have to comment just ranting really..thanks for listening though...
How could I lose someone I never really had?
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