+1 y

Why can't I sort out my feelings?

So this year we got a new kid. And like a week after he came we started talking. And he's really really nerdy and very socially awkward so I was thinking we could just be good friends. And then we talked a lot more, mostly over Skype (chat and talking). I started to think I might like him and he told me he liked me. It's all been very confusing. Now it's been like a month and a half and I thought I had finally figured it out. So last week after school was out I told him I don't like him. And everything just changed drastically...or it might not be as bad as I think but..it's changed. He used to be super nice to be and did stuff for me; like some amazing friend/puppy dog. I could really be myself when I was talking to him. This is my first guy friend by the way. But now that I've told him he's all quiet and angry and mopey & he's saying stuff like "it kind of hurts to talk to you" (this is after a couple days). And he says he can't be as nice as before and he isn't going to show as much sympathy... He's kind of said that its only until he can get over all this. Then that made me think Well I don't know if I want him to get over me.. Cause then I wouldn't have anyone to count on because he might just leave me or treat me like he does everyone else..and I would hate that..But that's really selfish right?

I know I shouldn't be thinking like this but I can't help it...I wanna know some way to stop freaking out..

I also weirdly got jealous today when he said his friend Sarah was at his house do he'd talk to me later.. :/

(I'm pretty sure I don't like him that way...in person he's just too awkward and weird and I don't have these thoughts in person.. :/ )

Sorry that was long...
+1 y
By the way, I feel like sh*t about how I feel. I can't believe the selfishness.. It makes me sick.
Why can't I sort out my feelings?
Add Opinion