He thinks he doesn't deserve me. What does he mean?

So my boyfriend and I have been together for three month now. We were best friends in high school. I was there for the bad break up, his mom cutting him off from everyone, her only letting him be round me, him graduating will I was still in school (he is a year and half older than me), and everywhere in-between. I have been by his side for almost four years now. Three as best friends and now this time in a relationship. We were sitting on the couch at his place watching TV and talking, when he thanked me for being at his side throw it all. Then some time later he said that he didn’t deserve to be with me. I just don’t know if he is scared that I’m too good to him and will leave him in time? That if that happens I will stop being the one at his side? I just want some outside opinions on this. I just don’t know what to make of this right now.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright well I am not going to try to decypher your issue here since it is very apparent. Though I do have advise provided that is what you are looking for.

    It is common when you have a good thing, that one can percieve it as "too good to be true" and find themselves undeserving. It is a comment that can bring down the person but is also meant as a compliment to you.

    My suggestion to you when placed in a situation ever again where he says something like that is to lightly laugh it off and tell him in a joking fashion but semi serious. "Yeah maybe, but at the end of the day it's my choice now isn't it?" Or something along that line. You can take a situation that might be awkward and even a bit sad better by not denying what he said, not challenging it, but rolling with it and turning it around and reminding him that, despite everything, it's ultimately your choice. There is no comity of who belongs to each other and makes matches for us, it is up to each individual to chose. Just remind him that you chose him and even if you might be "too good" for him, that decision is for you to make.

    In summary, just remind him that even if he thinks he doesn't deserve you, remind him that no one can determine who deserves who other than you, and him. And tell him to stop thinking like that, no need to be mopey, your relationship is a good thing.


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What Guys Said 1

  • They say men get their early impressions of women from their mothers, and women also from their fathers.

    His mom and his first breakup have formed a lot of negative associations. You are different, and so he senses you are too good. His self-esteem of himself has also been set by these other tragic women in his life.


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