Is it better to ask a girl out directly or chat her up first?

Before I go into details, I'm talking about Facebook contact. Specifically, there is this girl that a couple or more months ago came to the cafe I work at (then, I was still a waiter) to learn the job. She is actually the sister of another girl who still works there. I was there the first day she came and I kind of 'trained' her. We had a friendly chat going along and I don't know, maybe there was some flirting, too. I'm certain that she did like me as a guy, though. Anyway, she didn't work eventually because she had some college issues and I didn't hear from her again. If it helps, I have a good relationship with her sister.

I forgot about her until I saw her two days ago outside of the University - we are both at the same Uni only in different faculties. The 'meeting' took place in the middle of the road and I didn't notice her early enough, so I simply said 'Oh hi! How are you?'. She took a while to process who I was and responded 'I'm fine! How are you?'. All in all it was a bit awkward because we both had to cross the road, haha! Anyway, I'm a bit interested and found her on Facebook yesterday, and she accepted my request. Now, I'm thinking of asking her out for coffee or something.

What do you think? Is it better to send an offline message telling her I was glad to see her and that we should go for coffee or chat her up first?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i prefer direct approach. I prefer getting to know someone before getting involved. but a date is just a glorified way of sating hang out, which is fine. its how you get to know people. and if you already know you are interested, pretending not to be just so you can cross some imaginary time border. would just be awkward and annoying.

    you already know youd like to get to know her. if she needs a few months to deliberate ver getting to know someone she doesn't know. you guys are incompatible. best to find that out now. imo.

    • You are right about the time border thing. I also prefer the direct approach; the only catch is, what if she doesn't quite remember me? Is it bad to remind her how we know each other in a message?

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Definitely be straight forward and ask her out. If you guys had a connection before, it won't be hard to revive it when you're in person. There's nothing I hate more than a guy who can't step up to the plate instead of beating around the bush!


What Guys Said 1

  • Be direct. Ask her first. There'll be plenty of time for charm and chatting up over the coffee.

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