Am I right or just scared?

So I've been talking to this guy who my best friend knows and he is really sweet. We have been texting and its obvious that we both really like each other. We have been both known for going wayyyy tooo fast in relationships and getting too clingy. But the other day we were hanging out and one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. Before it happened I told him only if he promised not to run after it happened, and he did promise. But now he's acting all weird like not talking to me and when he does talk to me its not the same, no more random smileys or texts saying how he wishes I could cuddle. And when I ask when we can hang out next he is always "busy." so I asked him if he was avoiding me and if he just wanted to get in my pants and now that he did he's not interested. He said no that he really is busy and like he said before we did it that he wasn't ready to go out with me yet (which I'm fine with as long as he doesn't just use me.) I have no problem with being just sex partners as long as he tells me that that is all he wants right now. I have been hurt before by guys using me for sex then running. He says he's not and he promised when we first started talking that he would never lie to me no matter how badly he thought it would hurt me. I just can't shake the feeling that he is trying to run... Do you think I am right or is it just my fear of being used coming up?

After I asked him about it I left him alone, He did send me a goodnight text and a good morning text like he used to and he is starting to go back to normal, but I don't know if that is a good thing or not...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Now that it has started going back to normal, I would recommend a little bit caution.

    Don't be early to judge if it's good thing or bad thing, just accept it at Face value as it is what it is or like a second chance. Now to break the pattern of all the weird behavior and him getting all of a sudden busy after you had sex the first time, may be this time around you use a bit more self-restraint.

    And even if you want & no matter how bad you want it, don't get in bed with him or have any other sexual contact with him at least till you have your sexual-relationship status cleared out (as in Sex Partners or Dating BF/GF or whatever you both decided to go ahead with). Also do make sure you are okay with whatever the two of you decide, but one thing you both have & in my opinion should work to never loose is your friendship & you need to communicate that to him before you guys decided to do whatever you choose to.

    It is very good that you both have a good line of communication and you can reach out to him even after things got a little weird to find out what's going and he didn't shut down completely on you, may be he really got busy, may be he didn't, but either ways if I were you, I would be happy with the fact that things are starting to get back normal as this is the normal you did enjoy.

    So once again to summarize, tread with caution, don't jump in sack until you have clarity of what is going to happen after you do & till then enjoy flirting, attention & romance. Doesn't mean you call him tomorrow and ask him the status take things a bit slow & discuss after he brings it up or you guys start kissing or getting intimate.

    Good luck.


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What Guys Said 1

  • when a girl ignores me, it drives me insane, do it to him, get him back and things will get back to normal, just resist yourself from having sex with him again(maybe 2weeks-month, wait if you want him. Don't ever worry about a dude, were not worth it, unless you know he is the one. Guys do get busy, its no excuse.

    • Should I confront him again or just completely ignore him, I don't want to come across as uninterested but I don't want to seem clingly (which apparently I do even though I never meant it that way)

    • No don't confront him, most guys don't like that feeling sh*t, and if you do confront him, he will turn it against you. Ignore him, guys hate when girls ignore. Short texting convo and cute no touchy talking in person. and only talk on the phone with him when he is not busy at all. Stay away from texting, bad, bad, bad.

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