How do I know if he's interested in me?

There is this guy I really like a lot and I'm wondering whether he is interested in me or just sees me as a friend. To complicate the situation we are both extremely shy, not good with other people and like to be alone.

Here's the story:

He was transferred to the department I'm working in 2008, so we are colleagues for almost five years now. The first three years he barely talked to me at all which was fine with me because I like being left alone, too. Although I fancied him almost from the start I would have never dreamed that he would ever show any interest at all in me. To my (pleasant) surprise he gradually started talking to me more and more over time and eventually we began going to meetings and seminars together. (Which doesn't sound so out of the ordinary for colleagues but is a really big deal for two loners like us!). That was about the time I suspected I might be falling for him. It took us another year to finally spend some free time together like going to lunch together or meeting after work for a coffee and just talking for hours. We discovered we have a lot in common, among other things a love for computer games. So we started meeting at his place (because he has the better computer ;)) and playing video games. He doesn't show his emotions much, let alone talk about his feelings, but I think he enjoys these gaming sessions a lot. I sure do. I'd like to take it to the next step now but I have no idea if he even likes me. What do you guys think, could he be interested in me and should I try to move things forward? I'm just afraid to scare him off if I get to clingy because he's such an uncommunicative, withdrawn person. It took us four years to establish this friendship after all, I don't want to ruin it by rushing things now. But on the other hand I'm not sure if he'd ever take the initiative even if he was interested in me because he's so damn shy.

So, any advice what I should do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Start by reading my guide for shy girls here:


  • Take a chance, you only live once, ask smartly, lure him into a convo about relationships and ask him about his gestures, you guys spend time together a lot, gaming sessions.. Damn.. That is nice! But be warned don't be the one who pours it all out, make him make a move by luring him, he warmed up to you, he's probably too shy as well, take chances! You've got little to lose


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