I told this girl I want to take things slow. Was that a good choice?

I'm 6 weeks out of a relationship.

It ended with her completely dropping me. Out of nowhere.

Anyways, 2 weeks ago, a girl messaged me on Facebook and we started casually talking.

We hung out on Saturday, and she stayed the night.

We had a really good time. Wet told each other were going to be friends first and see where things go..

but we ended up having sex... (Two incredibly attractive people in a room, it's hard not to.)

After that, we went to sleep. Woke up and the rest of the day, she was being really lovey dovey and such. Kissing me, holding me, hugging. She kept telling me she didn't wanna go home.

Eventually that night, I took her home (her cars in the shop) and we kissed for a while and hugged it out.

I didn't talk to her the whole day the next day, but we talked this morning.

I ended up telling her, " I think we should take things a little slower, because I don't wanna ruin things between us." She told me she understands and completely agrees.

Was that a good move?

I really like this girl.

But, I want to make sure she really likes me first.

Ive been dropped too many times to trust a girl anymore.

But at this point, what do I do.

and how do I play this, to get her wrapped around my finger?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "It ended with her completely dropping me"

    Don't let that happen again.

    "but we ended up having sex... "

    That's my boy.

    " I think we should take things a little slower, because I don't wanna ruin things between us."

    Not the best approach... Anyway.

    " to get her wrapped around my finger?"

    Pay close attention to my words:

    - Do not be afraid to let her go

    - Do not be afraid to let her go

    - Do not be afraid to let her go

    - Do not be afraid to let her go

    Am I crazy? No, what I mean is that you need to have enough maturity to assume your natural role in any relationship that you will have in your entire life: You are the Man.

    Be the Man in the relationship. Your previous experiences haven't turned out well, you've been dumped before and that has undoubtedly lowered your self esteem:

    "I want to make sure she really likes me first."

    See what I mean? Even though you've already had sex with this girl you're not sure whether she likes you or not. This is your broken ego talking, this is why you're afraid of losing this girl, and this is why you need to learn what Being the Man in a Relationship really is.

    You're a nice guy and you want to take things slowly. OK, being a nice guy is good, but being a nice guy without being a Man first is not. Women don't see the nice guy, they don't fall in love with the nice guy, they fall in love with the Man. The nice guy thing is just a mere bonus. Are you with me?

    Being a Man is more than just have the XY chromosomes. It's more than that. There are literally thousands of web sites dedicated to define, analyse, and discuss about Masculinity. Google them, read them, study them, learn on your own what our fathers didn't teach us. link

    Do not be afraid to let her go, and she will want to stay.

    • I commend you...I commend you...I commend you! haha

    • Show All
    • @toulouse


    • Perfect answer.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 11

  • Yes its a good move. Girls like when guys are in touch with their emotions enough to make responsible choices like this.

    If you genuinely like her, don't stop with the physical contact, or the flirting, or the fun stuff. But do take your time on the serious side of things.

    Most of all, share your thoughts with her; and if things seem like they're moving too fast, let her know and ask for her advice.

  • Ask her on dates and get to know each other. Create memories and such is such. You really want her to want you, then you must show her that you are interested in her and "keeping it slow" doesn't mean slowly fading away which can happen in many cases. Don't let this happen. Even ring her and say you were thinking of her or something, something to let her know you like her, and that she isn't a fling.

  • I think you did the right thing by telling her how you feel. A lot of times its just important that people communicate so that there aren't misunderstandings. She may be worried too that you will drop her. As long as you guys establish a trust between each other, everything should go well.

  • Ummm, NEVER tell a girl you want to take things slow AFTER sex, dummy. Now, because you said that, don't have sex with her. She will just be confused and then probably post questions on GAG asking does he like me? blah blah blah...

    • What she said

    • Show All
    • lets go slow doesn't mean anything is just filler. people use it from anything rom rejection to I love you but don't want you to know. its a bull sh*t phrase. I e platitude. overused to the point it loses meaning.

    • I agree with toulous. If I was a guy I would never say, "let's go slow." To me it means, this person doesn't want a real relationship with me and he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. The thing is, he can eat his cake, but don't eat mine.

  • It doesn't work this way..

    Take it slow if you want to, but be honest of where you're going and let her be a part of your life!

    Give her a chance would be giving you both a chance.

  • She seemed to really like you if she didn't want to leave. Why didn't you just see where things went?

  • I think that is a smart move on your part well played. I know you saying that to her and why would impress me.

    To get her wrapped around your finger be a gentleman, compliment her, be there for her

  • If she had sex with you it means that she likes you...

    • Not true. Especially if it is that early in the relationship. You can get caught up in the moment and then realize later you are really not that into the person.

  • Dont talk to her for a whole day after having sex the day before?! Wow, I'd be pissed but I guess that is just me. Second, you wanna take things slow? All I'm saying, is if she has had bad experiences with "Taking things slow" she certainly didn't like that. I know I've had bad experiences where a guy will say that and then BAM nothing its like we were strangers the whole time.

  • YES YES YES that was a good idea. Now just pretend like that night didn't happen you can all laugh and acknowledge it later. You should continue courting her, taking her on dates. After a while you can make things official. You probably should hold off till you are committed to one another, no question. I am speaking from experience by the way. Good Luck!

  • It's not a bad thing to want to take things slow, but normally one says that BEFORE they spend the night and have sex with someone...


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