Why do guys want girls to ask them out?

why is it that some guys who aren't even shy feel like the girl must ask them out first? I have always been taught that a man should ask a woman out and not the other way around. I don't know maybe I'm "old fashioned" but I just find it more respectable when a guy asks a girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because nowadays guys do not feel like they need to invest in us much anymore. A lot of women have made it too easy(sexually) for guys in this generation which has caused them to be lazy and a lot of young men do not respect woman like they use to because of how we allowed ourselves to be potrayed in the media. So the desire to approach us is not as high because a lot of men are approaching the men more and more cause of being desperate and impatient and a lot of men know this and don't want to chase us anymore. Its an excuse to be lazy.

    • Thank you! I have been thinking this could be the reason because some guys I know are just like "yeah I'm too hot I don't chase any girls I let them come to me". Thank you for your answer

    • Show All
    • Did I say all? I said alot.

    • She was probably addressing my initial hostility.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I guess. But really I don't see why. I mean feminists pushed so hard to make everything so that things between men and women are equal, so why should this be any different? Do you really think there is any shame in a girl asking a guy out? Be really honest here. If you really think so then please tell me why. While you're at it, please explain to me why you think that men need to ask the women other then "it's old fashioned".

    An old quote form Grace Hopper said...

    "Humans are allergic to change. 'We've always done it that way' is not a good reason to continue to do so"

    See you're telling me that you were taught that a woman needs to be asked out. "Taught". I'm willing to bet that you have had this instilled in you by people who themselves refuse to accept change. Thing is the times they are a'changein'. Have been for around 60 years now, and they are going to keep on changing. But hey don't get me wrong I do think a certain degree of the old way is fine. I still spoil the sh!t out of my Girlfriend when I can. I hold doors for her. I pay for the bill when we go out to a restaurant. Thing is she's a feminist. Has been since she was about your age, and she's a little uncomfortable with it if I go to far with the chivalry. I guess you can say she's trying to deprogram me. Heck I know a lot of guys though who are going through the same thing.

    Now... you think that it's just men that want girls to ask them out, but believe it or not there are tons of girls out there who already do. There are also quite a few on this site that will ask a guy out., and furthermore I know a few girls in person who would find it really irritating when your old world code gets girls in a position that moves them to prompt the most backwards of all questions. "How can I get this guy to ask me out?" To me that seems a bit off.

    Anyway I think I've gone off on a big enough tangent here. I hope you find it enlightening. Hopefully you can return the favor by enlightening me. A good place to start is by answering my questions.

    1: Feminists pushed so hard to make everything so that things between men and women are equal, so why should this be any different?

    2: Do you really think there is any shame in a girl asking a guy out?

    3: Why?

    4: What better reason do you have for why men should always ask women out other than "Old Fashioned"

    If you don't have any good answers then I think you should rethink your position on this. Anyway good luck with this question.

    • It's not that I'm totally bent on the guy asking me out it's that some guys I know think they shouldn't put themselves in that position to be vulnerable to a girl. My question really was why do some mostly "good looking" guys feel as if they are too good to ask a girl out and feel as if the girl should come to them. I'm perfectly fine with asking a guy out I've done it before and their is no shame in it.

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    • Well sorry lol

    • Nah it's cool. Now you've clarified. Which is good.

  • I agree that its more respectable for us to ask you out, but when a woman asks a guy out it says alot.

    Any confident guy can ask out just about any girl he's interested in, and there's a good chance he's in it more for sex than anything else. Whereas if a girl asks you out, you know she probably likes you alot, especially if she's a little shy...I have fallen for many girls who have asked me out (course she's gotta be attractive to me), I just find it so sweet.

  • You are old fashioned. lol, no one should have to do anything. lol


What Girls Said 2

  • guys want girls to ask them out because they TOO also fear being rejected. I don't mind asking a guy out but if its a close guy friend...then I fear doing it more...so in those times I wish the guys would do it.

  • Yeh I agree with you 100% it should be the guys job but they are too pussy.