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I am a mess and I need help!!!

So last year this guy from work chased me for a while before we finally went on this amazing date. We would always check each other out and enjoyed having a chat.

I then had an empty house so invited him over. I know he wanted sex but I am a virgin (I am not waiting for marriage it just has not happened) and I didn't go through with it however, things did go pretty far (further then anyone else but he doesn't know that). I could tell when he left he was disappointed but I was embarrassed.

I tried to meet up with him but he was always 'busy'. So I guess at times I did look a tad desperate. The contact slowly died and I was away from work. Eventually I came clean and told him I was a virgin and that is why I wanted to meet up (and promised I was not a crazy girl and I just needed to tell him in person!).

Since then at work when ever I see him I go weak at the knees and my heart races. All I do is want to see him and I get sooo nervous (more then I did at the beginning). However, he is more distant towards me and won't always wave from a distance or come up and chat. Although I have caught him checking me out at times and he is nice when we do start to chat.

I honestly think of him 24/7 and can't keep my mind from him. I really, really like him and I don't know what to do? We had all these plans for dates which never happened and I do get a tad upset about. I know he was hurt as I did led him on so how do I fix it now?

I know you can't make someone like you but I honestly think we could have fun and be good together. What do I do? I have tried everything to move on but nothing works. I will not see him for about 4 weeks so I need to figure out a plan. I am currently a mess now so need to sort it out. Please help?
I am a mess and I need help!!!
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