Was it offensive to ask him why?

My cousin is in town for the summer. I haven't seen him since last summer. We went out to eat and he said he was a vegan.

He wasn't a vegan last summer so I asked what prompted this change.

He responded by saying that that was the most judgement he'd gotten from anyone yet.

Our conversation literally went:

Him: Yeah, I'm vegan now.
Me: Oh. What prompted this change?
Him: Wow, that was the most judgement I've gotten after I've told anyone yet.

It was just a question. He wasn't vegan last summer. He hasn't been vegan ever in his life except apparently the last six months.

I don't see why my question was rude or judgmental. If I were to make a fairly drastic diet change I'd expect people to wonder why.

Oh, and just so you know... his reasoning is because he met a girl and SHE'S vegan.

Also he's a very bad vegan. He ate a quesadilla, buttered popcorn, and chocolate chip cookies today lol

But anyway... was my question somehow rude?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It was probably the word choice. I know it's probably just your normal speech patterns, but a lot of people perceive formality under casual circumstances as sarcasm. He probably thought you were mocking him.

    In other words, the phrase "What prompted this change?" sounds a lot more sarcastic than say... "What made you change?" or something of the sort.

    I'm sure it's nothing a little clarifying won't fix.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • hahahaha! This made me laugh so hard.

    And to answer your question - No, not at all. lol!

    Your cousin seems a way bit too sensitive. No wonder he is vegan! lol!

    (now that would probably an offensive thing to say. :p)

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What Guys Said 10

  • no. not at all. he's proubably just a noted with himself a out allowing a girl get him to cha 've his diet that drastically. don't worry about it one not. Just order a nice steak the next time you go out and let yourself for at enjoy it l. you l ow what I mean. let out some noises that say this is the best steak you ever had be dying for a vote befor you have your third piece. you could even offer him a vote. even better of his girl is with him

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  • There is nothing wrong with your question. Nothing at all. You have to understand Most vegans are what we call Special snow flakes. They can't take questions, discussions or disagreements. He probably has gotten a lot of hate over it or he is one of them people that believe honestly that they are better than every one else for being vegan.

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  • It wasn't rude or judgmental of you to ask.
    I think the reason he got so defensive is because he knows the reason he's doing is silly and he has no real reason to do it.
    He's not really one anyway is he's eating that stuff.
    Maybe he meant vegetarian

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  • Asking a simple question is not judgmental. Cleary he is just putting on a show. I'm guessing his girlfriend gets offended way and he is just emulating her.

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  • He probably reacted because his reason is so stupid.

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  • I think he's probably just gotten a lot of hate for it then your innocent question set him off

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  • self-important. just looking to start shit

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  • No it wasn't

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  • pussy ass nigga just a question lmfao

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  • i don't think it was Rude.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I'd probably ask someone the same question. I'd be intrigued to know why they'd became a vegan just out of genuine interest.

    Your cousin overreacted and jumped to an assumption. You weren't rude, and in my opinion, the question isn't judgmental at all.

    I'd have responded with, " maybe you don't know me as well as I thought you did"

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  • No, I strongly believe that you phrased your question in a nonoffensive way. Your cousin needs to lighten up and not take things so personally. On the other hand, he might have a dry sense of humor, so he could have responded in a dry manner that led you to believe you offended him.

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  • I don't think it's weird or rude at all! If I were you I'd ask the same question too because I'd be curious as well. I think he was a bit oversensitive and overreacted :/

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  • It wasn't rude, judgmental or offensive at all.

    If someone tells you they are now vegan and they weren't before, then naturally you are going to ask 'why'?

    I'd say it was inquisitive which is never a bad thing!

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  • my sister is a vegan, i try not to judge, but i ll just say I love seafood and other kinds of meat and dairy and eggs and butter too much to give that up. lol... by the way, no there wasn't anything wrong with what you asked.

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  • No, it wasn't rude. The reason he responded rudely was because he knew he was vegan for a reason that would make others think it is a stupid or not valid enough reason to be vegan. Ignore him.

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  • I don't think your question was at all rude or judgmental. Obviously he's sensitive like because he knows his decision is simply to follow a girl.

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  • in my opinion your cousin over reacted about nothing.

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  • It was not an offensive question at all. He reacted that way because the question was uncomfortable to him. He was not prepared to give an explanation to that and he got sensitive because his reason was... stupid.

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